This is a "preview" part of a story I have been working on lately. This is the only chapter I have done, but it takes place a little bit into the story. Any critique would be great, as I want to know a) If the idea is interesting to you readers, and b) If my writing ability is good enough to undergo such a trial. So without further ado, here's what I've got: Sora, Donald and Goofy finally left (will insert world name in full version) with little more than their weapons and equipment. As they flew through the emptiness of the multiverse, a call came in on the communicator. Donald answered the call and a large screen appeared before the trio. On the screen was the face of Cid Highwind. “Howdy-do.†He said in his usual southern accent. “We just finished up with (will insert info in full version).†Sora responded, paying no attention to the radar. “Ever since the gates separating this multiverse from the others opened, we’ve come across some really strange places.†Cid nodded. “I thought there’d be some…odd places out there. Say, why don’t you three come an—“Cid’s voice and video feed where cut off by a loud crash. Inside the Gummi Ship, there were no lights, everything had shut down. “Ouch…Why weren’t you watching the radar!†Donald quacked. “I was listening to Cid! Why weren’t YOU watching it!?†Sora retorted. “Say, fellas, don’t ya think we should check the damages to the ship?†Goofy asked, hoping the two would comply. Sora and Donald looked at eachother angrily, but they agreed. After managing to open the cockpit doors, they stepped outside to find themselves on the landing bay of a space station. “…Where are we?†Donald asked. Goofy spotted something on the outside of the station and pointed to it. “Frigate Orpheon…Doesn’t ring any bells with me. You guys?†Sora asked. Donald and Goofy shook their heads. “Well, we might as well head inside while the ship does it’s auto-repair thing.†Sora and his party walked through what looked like some kind of training program for a soldier. There were markers and targets all over the place. The weird thing about it was that it looked like it had been used. Sora disregarded it and continued to the entrance. The door looked really unusual, there was no knob or anything, it just glowed blue. “So, uh…How do ya open it?†Goofy asked, scratching his head. “Not sure…Maybe the keybla-“ Sora was cut off by an alarm and a woman’s voice playing over a microphone. “EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY.†The alarm blared over and over. Just as the alarm began to sound, a large pterodactyl-like creature emerged from the inside of the frigate, it’s back toward the three. “Run. Now.†Sora said, frozen in fear. Donald and Goofy quickly complied, dashing back toward the Gummi Ship, Sora right behind them. The creature turned around, eyeing the three like an animal eyeing its prey. “Oh, no. It saw us, keep going! We’re almost there!†Sora yelled. They finally reached the Gummi Ship, jumping inside as quick as possible. Sora, being the last one inside, closed the cockpit. “How far is the repair?†Donald asked. The monitor underneath the steering wheel read: ‘Repair Process: 87%’. “It’s done enough!†Sora said, igniting the ship’s engines. The ship chugged upward, preparing to take off. Before they could get going, an orange ship flew past them and toward the planet below. As the Gummi Ship began to take off away from the space station, the creature sped by, smashing it’s wing into their thrusters. The impact caused the ship to stall out and fall toward the planet below. “We’re gonna die, we’re onna die, we’re gonna die!!!†Sora yelled as they plummeted toward the planet below. I just wanna add that I know it's kinda messy in terms of spacing and stuff, that I plan on fixing later on.
