Kingdom Hearts: Abusive Love(Rated PG-13)

Well, this fanfic came out very well in the other forums, so I wanted to bring it here.
This fanfic is about Sora. He is being abused by his mother, but his life will be changed forever by his best friend, Kairi.

A day in the life of Sora.​

"Boy? BOY! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"
Cried an evil voice of a woman. She stood there, a glass of wine in her left hand, and she was red with fury. A spiky haired boy got up and dressed, brushed his teeth, took a shower, got his backpack, and walked downstairs to the source of the yelling. The woman grabbed him by his ear, leaned her face close to his, and said to him in her evil tone,
"What the hell took you so long to get you down here, Sora? You come when your called, not when you feel like it. What took you so long!?"
Sora just stood there. He was opening his mouth to speak, when his mom used her free hand, and slapped his across his face.
"DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK!?"
She moved her hand to his hair, and yanked it.
"Hurry up, and get to school! You have chores to do!"
Great, school. The only time I can get away from my mom Sora thought.
His mom slammed oped the door, and threw him by his hair, and on the stepping stones. Sora fell, face first, and on the hard pavement. This was nothing new for him, though. This relationship has been going on with his mother for 4 years now. Kids pointed and laughed when he fell. He got up, and looked at the beautiful face of a red haired girl. Her face was smiling, which made him happy. She extended her hand, and helped Sora up.
"Are you OK, Sora?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Kairi. Wheres Roxas and Riku?"
"No time for that now. We need to get to get to the school bus."
Sora nodded his head, and followed her to the school bus. He met up with his best (and only) friends, Riku, Roxas, and Kairi. He blushed as he stood by her side. He sat by her in the bus.

Sora and Kairi have been best buds, ever since Sora's freshman year in middle school. This was the time his mom started drinking, and his dad died in the military. Kairi wanted to be Sora's friend, and they became best friends ever since. But lately, He had a strange feeling around her, but he couldn't tell if he had a crush on her, or he was thinking about what his evil mom planned on doing to him next.

The school bus finally parked, and Kairi, Riku, Roxas, and Sora hopped out, and headed towards the building.
"See you in class, Sora."
"Alright, Kairi. See ya!
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Well, how was that for a chapter? It is a bit short, I know, but I will make this alot longer.

 

There are some grammatical errors in here And may I suggest semi-colon's. [So many commons and it looks messy. ]

That's the only thing that bothered me was all the commons so work on that.8]
But the story was well written but it could have been alittle longer. xD

Please continue.

 

I liked the concept of Sora being bullied because it is a take on the story I actually haven't seen before.
Which,is good because most FanFics tend to just copy each other.

Write more,I'm interested in how this is going to turn out.

+Listen to what Skittles said because it's absolutely right.

 

At school​

Sora was sick in the stomach. He shouldn't be. School was the only time Sora could escape his mother's prison. He walked up the stairs, and into the building. He fllowed his blonde, spiky haired friend, Roxas, and his gray hair friend, Riku.
"Hey, Sora, did you study for the Science test today?"
Roxas asked Sora.
I couldn't. My mom was too busy having play her "game""Sora?"
Sora turned to Roxas.
"Sora, are you ok?
"Yeah, I'm fine Roxas. It's just...."
Sora scratched his neck, and blushed. Roxas knew the expression a little too well. It was Sora's way of saying...
Love Sickness
"Alright, Sora. Who is the girl?"
Asked Riku, sarcasticly.
"Um.....promise you won't tell, Riku and Roxas?"
"ROXAS!"
Cried a young blonde, waving her hand.
"Sorry guys, I got to go. I promised my girlfriend Namine I would take her to class today."
"Well, looks like only you, Riku."
Riku leaned over curiously. Sora leaned over, and whispered in his ear,
"Listen, Riku. I think I might have a crush on Kairi."
"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON KAI......."
Sora slapped his hand over his mouth.
"Please don't tell anyone. You know how most people are when they hear that a boy has a crush on a girl."
Sora walked into the classroom. His sleeve began to roll up, nearly revealing his cuts and bruises, but he covered them up when he saw Kairi walk over.
"Hey, Sora. Is this seat taken?
"No, Kairi. Feel free to take a seat."
The teacher began passing out worksheets, and everyone got down on their work.
It took hours, and by the time Sora was done, the lunch bell rang. Kairi saw Sora was the last to get out of his seat, and she helped him up.
"Alright, Sora. Time for lunch."
She held his hand, making Sora blush, and dragged him to lunch. Almost all tables were full, only one table remained, the one in which Roxas and Namine were sitting.
"Hey, Kairi. How about right there?"
Sora pointed to the table.
"Sure......"
Sora and Kairi plopped down on the seats, and put their lunches on their table. Sora placed his lunch on the table, and opened his lunchbox.
"Sora, what do you have for lunch?"
Sora swiped some leftover dinner from last night, while his mother was asleep.
"Frozen chiken, water, and some cake. What do you have?"
Kairi blushed when she heard him ask. She sucked in her gut, and took out her lunchbox. She opened it, and there was a sandwich, some juice, and some.....
Paupou Fruit?
"Kairi, is that... paupou fruit?"
Kairi nodded shyly, and said to him,
"I thought you might want to eat it...you know..... with me."

 

When Sora arrived at school he got this sicking feeling in his stomach.
"I can't be sick." He thought to himself. "This is my only get away."
As he walked into the building he noticed Roxas and Riku talking to each other near their home room classes.
"Hey Sora, did chya study for the science test today?" Roxas asked as he approached.
"Oh.." He said.
"Nope I was to busy playing my mothers 'games'. He thought to himself, as he started feeling queasy again.
"Sora, are you feeling alright?" Roxas asked in a worried tone.
"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine it's just..." He said while scratching his neck, blushing.
Roxas knew what was going on here; Love sickness.
"Alright Sora, who is she?" Riku asked in a amused tone.
"Well... promise you won't say anything!" Sora yelled embarrass.
"ROXAS!" Shouted a angry voice down the hall.
Roxas sighed.
"Sorry guys tell me about it later, I promised I'd walk Namine to class."

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You should go with something like this.
Your using the wrong punctuation, and there are still some grammar issues.

Take your time and put feeling into your work.
This seems dull.

It's got a great story line and I wish to read more.
Try to work on these issues.

Keep up the good work.

 

I always saw myself as a bad writer :/

 

Your not a bad writer.
I have the images in my head and that's all that counts.
Practice makes perfect.

Don't stop, I wanna see where this is going.
8D