Kingdom Hearts: A hearts path

A stretched grassy plain lay west of the towering castle dubbed Castle Oblivion. It's onimous shadow cast sullen patterns on the coming army of heartless at the lead of a hooded figure. Cloaked in thin, obsidion robes the figure stutted quietly at the heel of her army. Xaale turned around as she head a beckon from above. A wizard heartless swooped down to be at eye level to the nobody. Violet hat covering the wizard's eyes, it was the voice that could betray the wizard's plans. It hissed to Xaale, "The army is ready to brawl with any dangers Castle Oblivion holds." Xaale shook her hooded head, causing the chains on the cloak to clink softly. "You really think that something could have happened to Castle Oblivion while I was gone? I'm sure Marluxia and Xigbar can handle any trouble." The wizard sighed and flew off into the bright blue skies. Xaale took a deep breath and roared above the crowd, "To Castle Oblivion!" The heartless roared back in different tones and languages, "To Castle Oblivion!"

The regal golden doors of Castle Oblivion flew open in tune to the motion of Xaale's hands. She walked inside, turning her head in small, acute motions. The marble halls were empty except for the heartless departing elsewhere now that they had completed their escort. Only three large wyverns remained, waiting loyally for their master's order. Xaale ran her sleek, gloved hand down one of the pillars decorated with marble roses. Xaale chuckled softly to herself, "Marluxia isn't exactly someone who a person would be hired for home decor." The wyverns studied her every move as she walked slowly around the hall. Finally her head turned and saw them staring off at the wall. Their nostrils flaring, they started to kick violently at the empty air. Xaale beckoned them and they came unwillingly to her feet. She asked them quietly, "Scout out the basement floors. Wipe out any experiments that could harm you and my other heartless. That Vexen...if only he was a bit more cunning to realize the importance and strength of you." The wyverns spread their wide, mud colored wings and swooped into a spiral blast of darkness. Xaale was now alone in the large hallway and she started to look for the 13 members of the organitation. "I am neglected by them," she told herself, "Why can't I be one of them?" A voice equal of that to Xaale's echoed and said, "Hahaha, you are blind to the truth." Spinning around so fast that her hood fell off, Xaale parted her sandy hair to see a gray robed figure. Xaale was suprised to see the exact image of herself standing before her. "This must be what it was like for Riku to meet his Replica that Vexen made," Xaale said in her mind. The figure put her hood back up, shadowing her face. Her voice said with great satisfaction, "I am Alexa, your Somebody. I guess that's what we are called if you are called Nobodies." She raised a card and threw it to the marble floor. Spinning upright on the spot, the card started to shake and three heartless wyverns flew out. They were different though: They were white and had blue hearts on their chests. Alexa laughed out, "Nice to meet the power of light that my Selfless cast, isn't it?" The Selfless swooped toward Xaale as she summoned screwdriver heartless. Arcing up, the Wyverns shot blinding lights down onto the now gone heartless and a pained Xaale. When the pain lifted, Xaale looked up to see a small dragon in Alexa's place.

Xaale stood up and looked down at the crimson, scale-clad creature. It's small beady eyes looked back up at her and she realized that her hood was still down. The dragon smiled at her as she hastily put it on her head. "Hello Mistress. How are you? I found you here on the floor." The nobody turned her head the other way in confusion. The dragon must have been the pet of her "Somebody". "Who are you, you lizard," Xaale breathed. The dragon's eyes widened and said quietly, "The fire did more than char your robes. You have memory loss! You butt, I am Ferro!" Xaale glared at Ferro and stated, "Someone has no manners. My robes are indifferent, still black. And I am no butt. Maybe pain will do..." Ferro slithered his small body away and Xaale yelled out, "Wait! Come back! I remember you now!" Ferro stopped and turned around, relieved. "My mistress, I knew you would come through. Let me bring you to your chambers where I will prepare some nettle tea. It has some healing powers, I hear." Xaale nodded and walked at the heel of the lizard. She then said to him, "Why do you think I had memoy loss? Was it from the fire?" She smirked under her hood after Ferro shook his head: it was so easy to fool the creature. "No, I think Namine wanted to get something out of your memory. I heard that nobodies were keeping her prisoner." Xaale sent thanks that Ferro had not seen a nobody, for he would see right through her act. "Yes," she murmered, "I know. Bring me to the chambers, and after the tea I must be off." Ferro looked quizzically up at her. "Why," he questioned. Xaale hissed, "Is someone a bit too curious or what?" Ferro instantly quieted as they reached the secret passage to the chambers. "On the basement floor 7," she murmered. She kept the trip in the back of her head so she could reveal it to the organitation afterwords.

 

a recommendation: seperate dialogue from the paragraph, it'll make the story seem less text massive but at the same time add an easier reading of your story.

I like where your story is heading it will interest me to see where you take it from here, good job.

 

As Xaale entered the room after the small Ferro, she studied it with great intrest. Her Somebody had many sculptures of looming dragons and books were scattered around the floor. Picking one up, she read the title aloud, "Mysteries of the heart." Ferro nodded and said to her, "Yes, you've always said that was a good book. Can I read it now, after all these years?"
Xaale took a deep breath and unsure, she said, "No Ferro. It's not yours." The crestfallen lizard looked down and then muttered, "Okay, Alexa. May I wash your robes? They are mighty dirty."
Xaale had known that Nobodies looked a bit different from their real selves. Praying silently, Xaale was glad that she was the spitting image of her Somebody. Even though that was true, she still had to take cautious actions.
"No," Xaale replied as confidently as she could. Ferro shook his small head and handed her the nettle tea. A foul stench of burnt herbs wiped over her senses as she took a sip from the cup. Xaale finished it hastily and departed from the room without another word to Ferro, who wasn't looking in her direction.
Xaale found herself running instinctivually back to the top floor of Castle Oblivion but on the tenth floor she skid in her place. She found one of her wyverns laying injured on the steps to the next floor, it's shallow breathing growing weaker. Xaale chanted the Curaga spell and the wyvern raised it's head.
"What happened to you?"
"I don't know."
"No?"
"No."
"What about the others?"
"Gone to the fields outside."
"On who's command?"
"Their own. Safety lay there."
The whole conversation took place telephicatly between the two. The dragon stood up and flew off suddenly in the direction of the exit. Xaale was left alone as she muttered to herself, "What has become of Castle Oblivion?"

 

Why won't anyone reply?

I don't want to continue unless people reply...I don't know if people like it or not.