Is drunk sex rape?

So I've recently picked up "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" by Tucker Max and decided to look up the movie. Apparently there was some controversy.
Here's why

So is having sex with an intoxicated girl rape?

 

If the person knows the guy/girl is drunk (saying only guys doing drunk girls is rape is stupid), yes, I'd say it is.

If they're unaware, then no.

 

What if they're both drunk and willing in the drunk state?
As long as it's not HEAVY drunk, chances are they had at least a small willingness while sober.

 

Technically maybe, but they forgot to mention that it's most often their own fault that they aren't able to consent. One should know their limits around alcohol or stay away from it.

 

This is tough.

On one hand I want to say yes because techincally the girl can't say no to any sexual advances the guy makes on her because her drunken brain can't process the danger.

On the other hand, and the one I'm leaning towards, I want to say no because if people know how well (or poorly) they can tolerate the effects of alcohol, and they make poor decisions prior to its consumption, then I want to say it's their own fault. But this is a tough topic to choose a side on.

 

It's their fault, for
A.) Going to an environment where they will be men attempting to seduce her
B.) Choosing to drink while sober
and C.) Not knowing her limits to drinking.

Of course, if someone forces her to drink, them gets them to agree to have sex, then yes, it's rape.

 

If one is drunk and the other isn't then yes I'd say it is. No sober person should ever have sex with a drunk person for the simple reason that they aren't in their normal state of mind and quite possibly would have said no if they were sober. If both parties are drunk then it can't be rape in any sense, it's just a stupid mistake.

 

If someone is totally drunk off their arse, yeah, it's rape. The person is not going to be in the right mind to make decisions and probably is going to naturally be sleepy and not so coherent. If the person is kinda tipsy and agrees to sex, well, people do that all the time.

Everyone should know by now that for men and women, drinking promotes a person to drop inhibitions they normally have up that would prevent them from doing some things. It has been used to relax people who are shy to converse with others, etc. It can be a good thing then to just sit around and have a couple drinks and chill. When people drink to access, usually they just are not in their right mind at all. They're slurring their speech, can't walk straight, seeing dizzy, etc. Why someone who is sober or relatively sober would want to have sex with either a guy or girl who is super inebriated is beyond me.

Men and women who have had drunken sex will not even be 'good' at it. They can't perform worth a thing. If both people are drunk however and decide to do it, I don't think you can really blame the man for it anymore than the woman. Both people will have a lack of control and judgment.

If one is sober, be it the male or female, I do think it's taking advantage of the other person; especially if the partners are not regular sex partners in the first place. The sober person knows that the other person is not going to be all there for -anything-, let alone sex. I can therefore consider in many circumstances that rape is the case. Especially, if under normal circumstances, the man or woman would not agree to the advances otherwise. I think it's also kind of important to mention, as a couple others said, that men can be taken advantage of too, if drunk out of their minds.

Yes, some people also mention that there's a responsibility we all should have when drinking, to know ourselves and how we will be. However, people do get motivated by others to drink more sometimes and as the drinks keep pouring in, it gets easier for some to forget control. People who seduce a person who is drunk when they aren't are simply most often trash. Yes, the person who is drunk should not have gotten in that state in an area where possible seduction versus their better judgment can happen, but a shark is a shark. When women have gotten super drunk at bars, I usually just try to get them home or make sure they can get home somehow. I've gotten drunk off my ass and know how stupid it pretty much was, in a public place to do.

In the end, yeah, maybe a person shouldn't be getting drunk off her ass, but at the same time, if a guy is sober and would take advantage of her state, he has no excuse, as he's the one that should be thinking clearly. Same goes if the person sober is a woman. If both are drunk, well, oops, hopefully after, both learn a lesson to consume less alcohol at occasions when they are around people they do not know and trust fully.

 

IIRC, the law over here is that you consider the loss of ability to make clear decisions when you start drinking, so if you consent while drunk, it's your own fault.

 

If it's thier first time they have sex with each other... it just depends on the specifics of the situation. What someone says, does all goes towards the outcome, I can't say yes or no.
Just be smart enough to have willpower NOT to drink to the point where you have NO willpower. If not, you're just stupid.

 

If, before getting drunk, the person told the other person it was okay to have sex, then it is okay. Then, when drunk, if you ask and it is still consented, I see no reason why it should be rape.

I mean your judgment is skewed while drunk, but even if you're drunk and say yes, but before you said no, then it really shouldn't be done. It becomes complicated, really. I would never have sex with a girl who is drunk who told me she didn't want to (either while she was drunk or right before getting drunk).

It is dependent upon other things though, as well.

 

I agree to an extent but I'm sure you've been there where you have one drink too many and fly over the line of your limit to be beyond smashed or is that just me?

You are a *******, women can go to bars and stuff without having to be concerned that they are going to be raped, that is putting the fault on them and not the guy that can't keep his hands or his **** to himself. Similarly you act like you think a female shouldn't be allowed to drink because it is asking to be raped.

True I agree that women need to watch how they act, act like a cocktease for too long and you're going to get your ass in trouble, but being flirty isn't an invitation to be raped.

I agree with this pretty much. The problem is when someone wakes up with a banging hangover and don't want to face up to what happened so they play the rape card. That is one of the reasons why drunk sex = rape is so much of a controversial issue, there is no proof saying one way or another if it was agreed on by both parties.

I'll hold my hands up and admit I've had sex whilst under the influence of alcohol, but was it rape? Heck no, it was most definitely a mutual agreement.

Like with most things, there is no black and white, it depends on the context of each given situation.

 

In a way it is asking to be "raped" if you take away all of your better judgment. They should at least go with a designated driver or something to be safe. Buddy system and all that. But going to a bar with a bunch of men who want to have sex, and drinking a lot (thus taking away your better judgment) is probably not a good idea.
ALTHOUGH
I'd like to make it clear that I don't approve of men taking advantage of drunk women. That's incredibly immoral and wrong. All I'm saying is women share some of that blame.

 

And how is that anything else than completely my fault? :p

 

I think in general when you drink socially, you're just asking for trouble. I get that one or two drinks can loosen you up, make you tipsy (my friends are always more open afterwards) but when you push the limit, some type of trouble, not just rape, occurs.

No offence but when I see women in clubs wearing no more than just a small sequin dress, the basic message I see is 'I want sex'. Some women smile, socialise, laugh and are basically selling themselves like bits of meat. It's almost degrading the lengths some people go.
Fair enough I won't deny men don't try and do the same, they probably go farther lengths. But men never have any alternate plans. They want sex and that's it.
Women 'manipulate' (best word I can think of) men, teasing with them and playing with them like cats playing with mice. Rapists see it, basically, as an invitation to... well rape. Everyone should jsut be precautious as they need to be, especially with the disgusting things people can do.
All i'm saying is there's flirty, and then there's trying to get sex from anyone, anywhere.

 

That is a possible consequence, but trouble is not a guaranteed companion of drinking. There are times that I or others I know have drank and not got ourselves into trouble. It depends on the people involved, for example if someone drink drives and wraps their car around a tree, that is not the fault of the alcohol, it is the fault of the person who decided to drive.

You appear to have missed the part of my post where I stated that being a cocktease leads to trouble, which is odd since it is literally before the part you highlighted.

Or she is expressing herself through her choice in fashion. The majority of clubs do have a dress code that excludes jeans etc, and when you go out you do want to look your best. Neither gender should feel as though they are forced to cover themselves up, we may as well go back in time to previous eras when women were not even allowed to show their ankles to a man.

So you see smiling and socialising and laughing as a woman’s way of saying “Hey there love come and have a go”? The point of going out is to have fun and to laugh and to socialise. Smiling generally is not some hidden message asking for sex.

Hello generalisation of a gender

Hello generalisation of a gender in a really *****y manner, do you have proof that all women are like this? Do you have statistics that says everyone woman who goes to a club or a bar is like this?

Then that is the fault of the mentality of a rapist. If a rapist reads a situation and thinks a woman is asking to be raped because she is smiling and socialising with her friends, or because she is (heaven forbid) showing flesh, then that is not the woman, that is the rapist. Some people are turned on by handcuffs, does that mean that police officers should stop carrying them because a rapist might see it as an invitation that they want sex?

I already said this in my original post. There is a huge difference between flirting and being a cocktease. I flirt all the time, and I'm not going to stop that, but does that make me a ****tease? No, it makes me a flirt, does that mean I am asking to be raped? No, it means I am a flirt. I don't walk around with a neon sign on my ass saying Come Ride This.


I apologise if you find this post offensive, but nobody deserves to be raped, whether they are female or male it makes no difference. Nobody deserves that.

 

Maybe not trouble per say, but a negative externality of some sort, the most common for people is usually a hangover and loss of memory. I stay teetotal just for the fact alcohol is a temporary high, and ends with some negative.

Sorry about that. To tell the truth I wasn't sure what you were saying at that part. But yeah I agree.

I'm not trying to say cover up. Anyone can go out in what they like, but it's obvious that when you wear something, you're sending a message. Psychologists have studied the effect of wearing clothes and how people treat them. Conclusions are similar to, if you wear a suit, you're considered professional, successful and intelligent, whilst if you wear tracksuits and trainers you're considered lower-class, Chavs.
I think the same can be said to what you wear when you go out clubbing, tight revealing clothes, they're all sexual connotations for other people to see.
Or maybe i'm just reading into this too much.

I only meant in the context of this situation. Some, not all, people fake positive emotions because it's more likely you'll get to have sex that way. More organised and planned rapists use this approach so their victim lets their guard down.

From my own experience as a guy, and from all other guys I know very well or not very well, I can safely say sex is usually the top thing on a guy's mind. It's just they never use sex to get what they want since sex is what they want.
Now going to what I know from my own experience with women and what they've told me, sex is not the main thing on their minds. It consists usually of finding a connection with someone, a partnership and a relationship. I admire the goal but the way it's done...I've seen and heard women encourage men to leave their friends, stop drinking, and spend all their time together.
I will say that my minutia experience and range of people isn’t that representative of females, so I’m only going on what I know. I only generalise what I’ve seen to be pretty much fact, thought a lot of the time I’m sure I’m wrong.

It's not as simple as one trigger for a rapist, like handcuffs, but it would have to be a succession of them together from the same person. A common form of rapist are usually struck with an Oedipus complex, meaning they sub-consciously want to sleep with their mother. Usually to fulfil this urge and rage they seek women with the same hair colour, eye colour, facial features, personality just to get that experience of sleeping with their mothers.
Yes, it is the rapist who rapes, and it's not the woman who usually wants that but when people act sexual they want a sexual response in return.

By the by, don't worry about offending me much. Unless someone directs at me specifically, I'm fine of other people's opinions.

 

Well it depends how you define drunk sex...If yo9u mean just sex whil;e being dfrunk..one may disagree but isnt heard and/or too weak to resist so then yes it would be raep...howeverif you get totalluy smashed beyond thinking and just go "yeah sure whatever can I bring my sparkle sparkle unicorn" then...well then its just a prequel to regrets.

 

According to Degrassi, it is, but it also depends on who you're having sex with, (if you get drunk with your girlfriend and then have sex that is most likely not rape).

 

No, it's not rape. The person would feel guilty afterwards but then realise they shouldn't of, but I doubt someone would see it as rape. They would be drunk but they still give their consent in the simple fact their in someone's else or their own house and did it, unless it was forced.

I can see where you're coming from but no. I've had friends who have had drunk one night stands and they never once said they felt violated afterwards, just extremely embarrassed.