Is college the right choice?

So I've been struggling with college, a lot. I've brought this up with a few people but I've never really gone full forward with this. Of the 13 courses I've enrolled in, I've passed 5. This has not been about understanding material. Tests in almost any subject net me As and Bs. The problem is the additional work does not get done. While I do have learning disabilities (namely in executive functioning) I don't believe that that is the issue, and even if it is I already get accommodations so the rest is up to me. I've even been going to counseling about this but to no avail. The big theory we are trying for is that I don't normally have the anxiety required to motivate me. We've worked a long time to try to get my anxiety in the ideal place, but it isn't quite enough. I breakdown before the work gets done. I just can't seem to find something to be motivated about. And so many people give me encouragement talking about how smart I am and how I'm going to change the world. While I know that they are just trying to help I feel like I'm letting everyone down.

I feel so isolated here because everyone I know my age is either going through college smoothly or are in even worse shape. And my instinct is for humility, not just the shy "let's not talk about how awesome I am" humility but the humility of reaching down to help people reach heights they wouldn't otherwise achieve. But I can't bare to be a weight to those above me; and those below me aren't really able to help, plus they make me feel guilty that I can't help them. I know it might be some backwards way of being selfish, but that is the way that I see it.

On top of that, over the past few weeks I've had a lot of people bring up just not getting a degree and trying to land an entry level positions without one, even a professor that recently failed me. But I'm looking at an engineering professions (most likely electrical), so I'm not sure if I can just steal first base like that. And it has been brought up so much recently and I'm not sure if God is trying to say he has other plans for me or if my own fear is simply justifying the easy way out. But even if I skip college, the lacking self-discipline and motivation will still be an obstacle It isn't something that just can be just swept under the rug.


So I'm standing at perhaps the greatest crossroads of my life, and I'm feeling really lost. I'm not sure how or if I can move forward in the path I want, but I don't know where else to turn either. I'm just stuck.

 

So, and correct me if I'm wrong, your main problem is that you lack the motivation and this really isn't much about college mostly because this lack of motivation will keep bothering you even if you skip it... Yes?

Well, I can't say I know how you feel, but to me, that sounds like an extreme version of an artist or writer's block that just lasts. Unfortunately, I have no sure way of getting over such a thing because something like this is dependent on the person. If I were in your place, though, I'd think of how much I'm letting people down and use that as motivation. In fact, that's my motivation right now. I want my mom, my friends, anyone who knows me to be proud of me. But of course, that's only for me. You're welcome to try that though. I don't know you very well, and when it comes to finding motivation, I'm a little weak at that, but maybe you could also try finding something to always look forward to. Like, try finding the fun in the extra things you get in college. As for the self discipline, I was told that sports helps with that so if you're willing to risk it, take a sport up. Unless of course, you feel you can do it yourself.

As for the third paragraph... My. Well, what to say... As mean as it sounds, in life, you can't just keep giving. It's a fact we all have to face. I know how you feel; the whole "humility on another level" and all, but for your own sake, you have to take it. Don't worry about God's plan for you; we were never meant to figure it out while it's unfolding. Keep your faith, but don't worry so much about what He has in store for you. Just let Him do what needs be done and then maybe you'll see.

Sorry if I really didn't help much. Hopefully, you'd get something out of this. Good luck~

 

- Do you have rock-solid alternatives (yes, plural, life is tough), something you know you' ll like for sure (as in you already did it for real, not as in "heh, looks fine to me from where I stand"), or at least something you would not hate with a passion ?

- Are you certain your problem won' t affect your work life in any way ? If not, you might want to remain in school as long as you haven' t found how to cope with it, betting your income on a whim wouldn' t be the smartest move ever.

 

well, I can understand that whole motivation problem. Seriously, because I have the exact same problem. If my mom didn't hit on me for getting my stuff done when I was going to college, I probably would be a lot worse than I am now...although that's not saying much considering those 2 C's I have at the moment. Really, all I can say about your motivation is that you just get someone to help you with your stuff, and that way you can also count on someone to make sure you don't fall behind in anything. It's probably not the best solution, but I can't think of much of anything else. I'm not sure going to counseling will be what makes you get through this, especially if you've been going for a while. I'm not saying to stop, but you should definitely have a side option.

And about where you're supposed to be, that's really all up to you. I mean, I want to be an animator and make games, but that's not going to happen unless I make it happen. I'm not going to say "It wasn't because of God that I didn't get to be where I wanted" I'm going to say "It was because of me I didn't". True, people say God has a way of putting you where you need to be, but that also depends on where you yourself end up. You have a say on where you should go, and it's up to you. If you can't get the degree of level of education that you want, maybe you need to try something else. My dad had to do the same thing. When he was trying to become an engineer he ended up having to stop and go for a degree he really didn't want. But that happened because stuff occurred. I honestly don't know the full details. My point is, it's up to you to go where you want. If you can't go exactly where you want, try something that within that area of work.

 

i've struggled with the same exact thing in my earlier years at college. i know it's hard to get motivated to do the work but i found two things to think about that helped me.

first thing is that after landing an internship that was related to my field, i started to see the value of what i was learning and that i really enjoyed the field. so getting a taste of a fulfilling career got me thinking about the end results of the college. thinking about the end results really helped me push past the tediousness of school because i knew it was going to be worthwhile. so my advice is to think about the destination of this college commitment.

second thing that helped me was that i started thinking about the people who helped me get this far. i thought about my mentors who gave me valuable advice and about the people who simply believed in me. and then i realized that i didn't want to let those people down because they've done so much for me which is what helps push away any tendencies i might have to half-ass things. so i guess in a way, i'm working hard for those people more than for myself. though, a lot of people would disagree with me and say that you should work hard for yourself rather than others. if you have people in your life that have faith in your success, i would suggest pushing on for them if you can't do it for yourself.

as for getting an entry level position without a degree, it might not be a bad idea to look. you can also try landing internships in the career that you want, it's done wonders for me. and several of my friends changed majors when they realized they wouldn't enjoy what they would be doing when they graduated. i think you should be able to bag an internship because they require even less experience than entry level positions.

one last thing to consider is that you might not be studying the right major or field. i don't know if that's the case but if you're studying something that doesn't truly interest you, there are going to be motivational problems. if you suspect you're studying the wrong field, i suggest seeing a career counselor to help you get into the right one.

i hope something i wrote in this long post helps, and good luck to you.

 

It really is hard. I'm also in college and I'm so close to reciecing an associates degree, but in my case math is holding me back. I've been trying to avoid it, but it's screwing up the future for me. My advice is to keep going. The achievements you will receive will be well worth it. Don't get me wrong...sometimes I feel college is just a "thing" to do growing up and passing high school. The school's just keep collecting money and the kids that get out pay a lot of money and sometimes you don't even land a job for years. It's VERY scary. At the the end of the day though school can still help you in the future and it is a wise choice.

If your still struggling with school...did you think at all about a trade school? Is there something that you want to do that will interest your life for awhile? You can get a two-year certificate and go right into the work field. This requires zero studies towards math, english, social studies and science.

 

When I was in college, I was far from home. There was a lot of stuff I didn't know how to do that I had to do daily; simple things that I didn't think I needed to be taught. My friends were small comfort when I always felt guilty for spending time with them. I knew where my passion lay, but none of the schools I went to had the curricula to suit me, so I ended up taking generalized classes, and my motivation always plummeted. The work would pile up, I'd get farther and farther off my sleep schedule, and eventually I'd be running on zero energy, depressed all the time, just kind of wishing it would all go away.

So I made it go away. I left.

I still think it was the right choice. I already have a two-year degree; any higher probably wouldn't have helped, at least not enough to make it worth the trouble. Jury's still out on the job situation, but right now I'm facing the prospect of possibly netting a super-cushy job for good pay if I'm willing to move a long way from home. I've had time to examine myself and my priorities, work on improving some of the factors that led to my failures in college. I'm coasting along, and some days I feel like giant chunks of my best years are going to waste, but I'm coming to terms with that. I'm starting to see the value in just getting up and doing something small every day, keeping the wheel turning. I feel good. I feel like doing something because it felt right, not because somebody recommended it, really paid off for me.

Now, that's my story so far. Yours may not turn out that way. A degree may be a bigger deal for an electrical engineer. But you might also be able to get better work than I could. There are always small discrepancies to keep in mind. My point in telling you this story is to address what I think is a huge contributor to your anxiety: You feel trapped. You feel like this isn't going to work, and you're out of options if it doesn't.

Forget what anyone says. Don't sweat it. Do your best in your current semester, and just reflect on your work and your feelings about it, and do what you think will work out for the best. If you think you can tough it out long enough to get your Bachelor's or Master's or seek an internship or whatever you're going for, maybe that'll be the boost you need. You can get real experience in your field. If you really feel like you're ramming your head against a brick wall, maybe it's time to withdraw. You know yourself, you can trust yourself, and if you'll be wasting whatever money goes into your schooling, you can make that call. Head home and try to get a job, a crummy one if you have to. It might be a grind, but you can save up, maybe get a small place with some friends, and ease into your independence. Take things one step at a time. You can always go back to school, possibly take classes one at a time from a local college. You might find that what was really killing you was the pace. Who knows?

Whatever your options, and whatever you decide, just try not to let that feeling of entrapment overcome you. The withdrawal option is being utilized more and more. Without going into my loathing for the school system, the scramble for a degree has become superfluously competitive; yes, potential employers will look at whether you have one, but you will find work if you look hard enough, look in enough places, and don't give up, and the merits of getting a full four-year are being seriously blown out of proportion, if you ask me. Plus, if you're really set on your career path, there are other things you can do. Networking is a powerful tool; get to know the people you want to work alongside, whether they're professors right now or active workers in the field later. Ask them how they think you should proceed. Be persistent, attack from all angles. Someone is going to have an answer that clicks with you, and if they don't, well, don't be afraid to make your own way.

Most of the focus of this has been on the "If you decide to withdraw from college" route, but that's only because most people are not going to seriously examine that. They'll pretend that withdrawing is a sin, or an immediate and permanent failure. They equate it immediately to "dropping out," which conjures images of jobless, boozed-out basement-dwellers with no skills, no life, no hope. That's horrifying, especially when you're in a position like you are now, and that fear somehow makes it more inevitable. But that is a lie, a scare-'em-straight farce unwittingly propagated by an older generation that doesn't recognize what the school system has become, and a younger generation that wouldn't have known any better to begin with. The truth is that some people just aren't cut out for college. The truth is that intelligent, upright, hard-working people do not emerge exclusively from the halls of an esteemed university. The truth is that either way works. Try your best the way things are now, but don't be afraid to admit if it's not working. It's not the end of the world. Better to let the battle go if it means you can still win the war.

Either way, I hope things go well for you. Remember, doesn't matter what path you wanna take; you can only go places if you get up and walk.