The teacher had to pick famous European Explorers for us and such. And who did I receive? God damned Christopher Columbus. I consider this a slight insult to my knowledge of history.
NO IT WAS DISCOVERED BY VIKINGS!! COLUMBUS THOUGHT HE WAS IN INDIA, AND THEN WHEN HE FOUND OUT HE WASN'T HE STOLE THE DISCOVERY FROM THE VIKINGS!! HE'S A THIEF!! OUR COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED BY A THIEF!! Write that, I'm sure you'll get an A.
Hi. This is me over in New Zealand. Can someone please explain to me what all this stuff about Christopher is? To quote E.D.: Sadly, the stuff about not knowing any real world facts is true. Can I have the history of America in less than three paragraphs? And fairly quickly please, I'm getting the urge to rape a sheep.
"In 1492 Columbus sailed the Ocean blue...." Or wait, is it "In 1493 Columbus sailed the deep blue sea"? Well anyways, sometime around then, Columbus was like "Yo Queeny [of England], I'm gonna go sail all the way to India, give me some ships!" and so the Queen gave him some ships and supplies, and he left. After a long journey, he arrived on what he thought was the shore of India, so he called the natives "Indians". He must have had a really sucky navigator on board though, because, obviously, they were no where near India. Eventually he realized that he was in a "New World" and went back to report to the Queen. Then a whole crap load of people went to the New World, which was named "America" for some reason I cannot remember. I think that was the name of a person or something... but I could be wrong. But really America was discovered by Vikings looooooong before that. But nobody cared. The end.
1492. And yeah. That's about right. But don't blame the instruments. Technology was never that great for sailing large expanses of ocean until Western Europe made improvements on their ships and with the (I'm pretty sure) borrowed idea of sails. So along with Western Europeans' annoyance at the how the Ottoman Empire was hoarding all the goods from East Asia and India, they decide to set out and start finding their own way to get to India and its spices. Since nobody but the Vikings had found America, they figured all they had to do was just sail west till they get to India. Then they found Latin America. And they decided to make the best of things and just colonize it like Britain did to India. The End.
Misconceptions, geography failures, conflict, conflict, conflict, colonization, war, war, conflict, argument, argument, war, conflict, war, conflict, conflict, conflict, Natives getting sent to reservations, argument, argument, argument, argument, argument, argument, war, Prohibition, depression, war, conflict, tension, war, conflict, war, resolution, where we are today.
