I'm starting to feel like I can't do this anymore

I'm starting to feel insanely stressed and I'm beginning to lose all the confidence I used to have in myself. Everything's piling on top of me and I feel like I can't do it anymore, like I need for it all to just stop somehow (No, I'm not talking about suicide).

Let me give some background first. I'm NOT bragging but how I got to where I am has a lot of bearing on my situation.

I graduated high school and starting taking classes at a community college when I was 14 years old. I was scared when I started. I was taking College Algebra and College English. They only let me take 2 classes because of my age. Luckily math was very easy for me and English turned out not to be that bad either so I got A's in both classes. At this point I was still really nervous about being in college because everyone was constantly reminding me about my age and I had only taken two classes, next semester was going to be a full load.

So next semester I was taking a full load of classes. Intro to Computer Science, Trigonometry, Art, and Philosophy. Computer science and trig were pretty easy for me, art was insanely easy, but philosophy was a bit of a different situation, it was really weird, the teacher talked for the entire semester and we didn't have one test or one bit of homework or anything, and then on the last day we had to turn in a report and take 4 tests. In one day. Since it was the last day I don't really know how I did exactly but nonetheless I got an A in that class and in all my other classes.
So at this point I was feeling a little more confident. It was only my second semester but I had gotten A's in all my classes so far and everything had been pretty easy.

Next semester was where things kind of started to go downhill. I was taking computer science, philosophy, and logic, all of which were extremely easy, but I was also taking Calculus.
Now the thing is I got who was supposed to be the best teacher possible in that class but I was seriously just not good at it. I got a C on my first two tests, but I got an A on the last test and on the final. I earned a B in that class, but my teacher gave me an A anyway because it was close and she saw improvement with my A on the final.
Even though I didn't really earn my grade in Calculus I still felt fine at this point...after all even if I had gotten a B I could have dealt with that.

The next semester was a complete disaster. I was taking data structures, history, psychology, and calculus II. I am not happy with what happened in any of those classes.

For data structures...I was able to actually write the code for the class very well, but I tested really badly. I got a D on the midterm, my first failing grade ever. I got full credit on all of the programming assignments however, and I did an extra credit programming assignment that I'm assuming helped my grade a lot. I never found out how I did on the final but it must have been decent because I got an A in the class.

For history, I got B's on all the tests. I guess that doesn't sound too bad, but...it's history. It's supposed to be the easy class, so I felt pretty bad about this. I got an A in the class because I did some extra credit assignments.

Psychology was the one that kind of killed me. My teacher was insane and expected the class to memorize a ridiculous amount of things for the test, and the tests were all written. But the thing was, he actually gave all of the questions that would be on the test before the test day, and he let us write the test on our laptops, and he's pretty computer illiterate, and you probably see where I'm going with this.
I cheated on every single test. It's the only time I've ever done this in my time at college, but I didn't really feel bad about it at the time because frankly I found what he expected to be pretty ridiculous. Shamefully I still *barely* got an A in the class.

And lastly, Calc II. This was the one that completely killed me. My teacher was really bad, everyone in class complained about him, but nonetheless everyone seemed to be doing okay...
I failed the first two tests. I got a high C on the next two and i don't know how I did on the final.
I got a C in that class. It struck a pretty big blow to my ego but it didn't really bother me at the time, I just sort of blamed it all on the teacher.

That brings us to now...I'm taking Assembly language, History, Spanish, and Calc III. I'm doing okay in History and Spanish, but the way things have been going in Assembly and Calc are just killing me...I've failed every single quiz in Assembly (but again I'm getting full credit on the programming) and I have a C in Calc. But more than any of the semesters before this I'm feeling so stressed and bad about myself...suddenly, now more than ever, everything's just kind...piling on me, I've never felt this stressed, and it feels so futile because I know my grades in Assembly and Calc aren't going to be how I want them. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with my parents when they find out I'm going to get a B in Assembly, they're going to be absolutely furious, knowing that is insane, it's like a time bomb that I can't stop. I'm applying to universities this semester and I feel like I'm not going to get into any of them.
For the first time in my life...I hate school. I can't stand being here, I don't want to come here, all I can associate it with is dread and stress and overload.
And now more than ever it's starting to hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm not anything special. I'm not smart, I'm just some kid, for the first time I feel like I'm not ready for this yet and like I can't do it anymore...

Is this normal? Have any of you ever felt this way? I don't know what to do.

 

I'm sixteen (seventeen in two weeks) and my parents are making me take a full load every semester. I've already registered for next semester and it looks pretty stressful already...Linear Algebra, Chemistry with a lab (I despise chemistry), Upper Division English (I freaking HATE English), and Anthropology (Should be easy)

 

How you feel is completely normal. I'm just amazed from what you've said that you started college as young as you were! That my friend, shows true talent.

Don't get bent out of shape over a few bad grades, from what you've said your acing the assignments and failing some tests in two classes. Your pretty damn far along than I am and I'm 20!

Just keep pushing and studying and you'll go far. Maybe Calculus isn't your forte, my mom failed her math classes and she was pretty damn smart in everything else and she skipped her Senior year in High School!

You'll be fine.

 

Everybody has to fail at least once. It's part of the learning process. It sounds like you've never had class you really struggled in before this; whether this is because you worked hard, it came naturally, or both, I'm not sure about, but it's not terribly relevant.

Firstly, don't be so critical of yourself. I know that easier said than done but you've just got to come at it from the right angle. Okay, you get a D on a paper: if it's a once in a while thing, just chalk it up to experience and laugh it off. The rest of your grades and a bit of extra credit can help you out. But if it's a repeated trend in the class, you've got to get creative.
Did you study enough? Where did you lose the most points? Is there anyone you know in the class that can help you out? Will the professor help you? If you have a poor teacher, are there online or textbook resources that can help? Discern why you failed, and try to do better next time. You don't have to get straight As, you just have to please yourself--and lowering your standards isn't always a bad thing. A B is an excellent grade, at your age and with the classes you're taking, you should feel damn proud. And if your parents can't see that, then they have something wrong with them. They want you to be successful, sure, but if they love you they'll be happy with whatever grades you get.

Some classes just don't ever click with people, either. And that's okay. You can't be good at everything. You might excel with computers but not understand anything about atoms, and that's okay. You can just cross chemist off the list of job choices for you. All you need to do is pass and get the credit, then continue with classes relevant to your major.

 

I agree with this completely.

Both my mom and I disagree with the whole getting mad at your child and grounding them for bad grades -- I mean, I have an F in Systems of the Earth (59%). I'm just not good at science, but I still try.

Regarding the clicking thing, that's also very true.
At the beginning of my Accounting class, I had a D (61.1%, if I recall correctly), because I had gotten 58/100 on my first chapter test.

However, after that, with all of the assignments we did, it started clicking, and on my Chapter 2 test, I got 82/100, and I haven't failed a test since.

Right now, I have an 83.5% B in Accounting, so just keep working at it, study hard, and you'll get yourself out of your jam before you know it.

 

that part isn't too bad actually. i personally think it's healthy to be humbled every now and then, it keeps our ego from becoming too inflated in my opinion.



i think everyone reacts like this when they fail or struggle for the first time in school. the nice thing about college is that you don't have to put up with classes as long as you did in high school. i wouldn't worry too much about getting lower than expected grades in school as long as you pass (assuming your GPA isn't completely in the gutter) but also don't get to the point where you're half-assing school either. also, dont' be afraid to ask for help from other people. there were times when i couldn't understand material until i asked friends about it (maybe they were just better at explaining it better than the professor, i dunno).so in short, don't sweat it too much, take a deep breath, don't give up, you'll get through this.