She keeps telling me all her problems and I just feel like she's dropped all the weight on me! Any advice?
What do you mean by she always tells you her problems? Does she blame them on you? Is she always involving you? And why do you feel all the weight is on you? Does she make you feel as though you need to help her? You are kinda not really telling me enough to help you.
Details... this is a basic coversation between the two of us- Me: Hey. Her: Hi my boyfriend said that he wants to leave me so now I don't know what to do and my dad's mad at me. No, she never blames her problems on me but she is always involving me. For instance, I didn't like this boy she was seeing and she kept asking me why I wouldn't talk to him (he used to pick on me a lot) so I said it's because I, personally, didn't like him. She told him and he stopped her from seeing me. And she just went along with it because she liked him. I feel all the weight is on me because of the fact that she'll ask my advice, but she never uses it and then asks me what she should do all the time. She thinks I always know the answer and I don't. But when she's asking all this, I always feel sorry for her. I feel that I need to help her but I can't do much and it feels like I should be doing so much more.
Well I don't think she should've taken the boy's side because he told her not to talk to you. And it doesn't seem as though you were talking much about him at all and you were just leaving things as they were?Like you weren't fond of him,but you didn't complain,did you? Well,if she always asks you for advice and never uses it,then next time don't give her advice.If she is wants to get you involved,but doesn't like when you actually try to help her,don't help her.And don't feel bad about it as much,because it seems as if she's doing this to herself. We brings up a question...Is everything okay with her?Is there something really wrong or is there anything she is really upset about that might be affecting the way she is treating you? She might be upset that you aren't "caring" and just thinking of her as a pest,or maybe she just doesn't know what to do.Do you ever really talk to her about things?
I had a friend like that last year. if she is anything like her, she will get worse and worse and not listen to and good advice you give anyhow. now me and all of her other friends hate her... we now ignore her and avoid her. specially after we found out she just uses us for things like money or rides to places, she has her own car, behind our backs(she told the wrong person this...) talk to her and see if she can stop trying to put all of her problems in your life and conscience, and if that doesnt work and she gets worse about stuff, then just stop hanging out with and being around her. i may sound like a big ass right here, but if they cant listen to reason, they cant be my friend... i dunno if this helps you, but its what worked for us...
Well, tell her to solve her own problems. This may sound rude, but it doesn't include you. Tell her to talk to others for help, not just you. And if this gets worse... ditch her. Trust me, it's worse to have a friend with pressure on you than an enemy.
When she comes asking for advice, just don't give her any since she'll just ignore you. However, I would keep listening to her. If she's your friend, then all you can do right now is be there for her. Yes, she may be dropping heavy loads on you, but isn't that what you're there for? The fact that she's opening up to you means doesn't want to keep it bottled up which is good. All I'm saying is one day, you will want to vent a lot too. If you push her away while she needs you, do you think she'll be around when that day comes? UNLESS you're not that close. If she isn't your best friend, then you're not that obligated. It doesn't seem like she'll be in your life for long if she's willing to turn on you for a guy.
tell her look think things over on her own dont keep asking about everythin say: i cant help you out all the time and dont like having all that weight on me tell her straight up and if she doesnt understand then thats her problem so drop her as a friend personally i like to handle my problems on my own i mainly ask if im really lost
