I'm lost . . .

I have been an on again off again depressed kind of guy for the past . . . seven or eight years of my life. Sometimes I sink to the very abyss I am most afraid of, others I rise to the highest peak I have ever dreamed of. Well, recently I was feeling pretty good. Things were going great and I thought that "This is it, my life has begun anew." Now I am back in the gutter squirming like a filthy rat. I try my best to hide it from my friends and family because they would be hurt. I did try to see a therapist however and no one takes me seriously. I am not sure whether or not I can take another fall like this one, it was pretty big. Each time I fall the ice keeps getting thinner and I am afraid it might break. My life is shattering around me and in each piece that falls I see a reflection but I am too terrified to comprehend what I see. It's just nothing . . . all I see is nothing in the reflections.

Anyway sorry, I am not looking for help on how to inform my family of this matter because soon I will be able to just go see a therapist by myself. I am just worried about what will happen if nothing helps. I didn't even want to post this thread but I needed to let someone . . . anyone know.

 

Bro, we all have the ups and downs in life and even when it seems like it can't get any worse, it does. You can't keep stuff like this bottled up because if you do, it's gonna get really nasty, really fast.

You need to take a step back for a moment, not in fear, and review your situation. When you look at it with a serene mind, it seems fixable, not so bad. Posting this thread was a good idea, at least you're telling someone, right? Try to broaden your horizons with that. Don't move to fast, you might make a mistake or snap or something, just slowly let everyone around you in, because if you just let them all in at once, you're going to be overwhelmed and feeling even worse than before.

 

If you've been "on and off" with it, I wouldn't be so sure to call it depression. It seems to me that you could be making mountains out of mole hills, when it comes to your lows. The bottom line, as Saxima has said, is that everyone has their highs and their lows. And if your lows are as bad as you say they are, then it certainly does you no good to leave them festering inside all the time. Things like that tend to build up until you've done something crazy with/to yourself. And you should really tell the people you know in real life more often when you're feeling down. If they truly care about you, they wouldn't feel nearly as hurt to know when your down as the would if you DID do something crazy and never told them a thing. And to be certain, they can do a lot more for you than a bunch of (faceless) names on a forum (not to dis anyone around here).

 

Thank you both for your response's, I will take them into deep consideration. I see that I do need to talk more about my issues, and I will start letting things out. Again thank you for your help, and I am glad that I could at least let someone know how I feel. I would like very much for this thread to be locked now, no more posts.

NO MORE POSTS

 

~Closed~ upon request of topic creator. =]