If you thought you weren't that great, chances are that society is to blame.

Don't let society influence you for who you are. Just be yourself.

That's what I have to say! =)​

 

I approve of this thread.

 

Save your sermons, this ain't no church.

 

Pointing the blame onto others is childish. If you think you have done badly, then you must think there was a better way. Find out what that way is, and do it next time. Shifting the blame is not going to help anyone, but it might hurt someone.

 

Just being yourself is an influence of society itself. Ergo, it is impossible to be oneself because oneself is an influence of society.

 

Blaming society has gotten no one anywhere in life. If you blame society you will then begin to resent it and shun it and thus you will then try to operate apart from it which then reduces all chances of succeeding in society to zero, making you even more of a failure which will then cause you to repeat the cycle and dig a deeper hole for yourself.

 

That wasn't the point I was making. Is that why people are still fighting for rights whether it's sexuality, race and etc? If society says someones too sensitive, but that's who they are...should they listen? Should they feel like they are a bad person? If society calls some a bad person or stupid for achieving their goals, should they stop? If someone said a person is "gay" because their too sensitive, should they listen? If someone is "gay", should they not love who they want? Should someone feel like they can go to hell because of the bible and what haters feel? Should a girl feel like she has to be really skinny or brace plastic surgery in order to be liked by a guy?

That's society's damage and that's not up for debate. It's in the news and all over the media. It's found in our own schools, jobs and communities.

 

How about we stop criticizing Mike and appreciate him more?

 

I don't need to be appreciated. I just hate how my threads get turned, I added more to my reply above yours, because their missing the point.

Edit: My point exactly about society is shown above. You try to do the right thing and it gets turned around. People look too deep into things.

 

If not appreciation, then more respect is needed towards you.

 

Good and bad are relative. It goes without saying that you should not care about what others think. The fact is that you dislike other people too (like some more than others). There is no objectively bad person, because someone is going to say they are good, even if it is not them.

If you want to please society, there is no such thing as "society's damage". When you try to please a society, you are trying to please that society. If you go into it, find it to have flaws and try to fix them, then it ceases to be the same society you were trying to please, and you have changed from a stance of trying to be pleasing to society to trying make society please you.

If one wants to please society and fails to do so, then one needs to get better at pleasing others.

If one wants to make society pleasing to themselves and fails to do so, then one needs to get better at manipulating others.

If one wants neither to please society nor to make it pleasing, then one needs to stop getting upset about social issues.

At no point should you be blaming circumstances on others. No one is making you feel the way you do about what they say.

Your message is not to grow a thicker skin, nor is it to manipulate circumstances to one's advantage. It is simply to shift the blame off of yourself. This means that the person still feels ridiculed, and they still feel negative, they just turn it into anger and resentment rather than depression.

When you try to punch through a wall and fail, should you blame the wall, or acknowledge your own weakness and try to get stronger?

I don't think we are. While you could have been clearer the first time, all three responses still apply even with your explanation. Nothing changed about the points presented.

 

Well congrats on once again turning my thread around once more. Well our views are obviously different. If I feel I (general statement) need to change and I'm a good person and I'm not hurting anyone else, which means I'm just being myself then yes I BLAME SOCIETY. There is a standards that should be placed. So if society judges people based on the stuff I listed above then yes in your world that person is wrong for being sensitive, caring, gay, their race, and not being super skinny. Right? That's NOT how it should work man.

At any rate you know what my thread means. It turned into something more that didn't have to be.

 

It is not how it should work, I agree. But blaming is not going to change anything. Blaming is passive. This is the dichotomy you offer.

"This is how things are. Are you going to get depressed or blame others?"

That in itself is a false spectrum; it is useless. Both depression and blame are unhelpful. They are signs that you have resigned yourself to the circumstance and are deciding how to "feel" about it rather what to "do" about it, which is always bad.

I take this stance instead.

"This is how things are. If you want to change it, then do. If you believe you cannot or are too lazy, then either get past them or cease wanting. Do that which is useful only."

 

Blaming was more like "know where society is at and ignore it and continue to be the person who you are".

 

You guys, is this really worth getting into a fight over? It's just a thread made in the Spam Zone about what Mike intended to be a positive message, not a debate thread. There's no need for that.

 

That is impossible by definition. Time is passing. Even if you simply sit in a room alone and count the seconds, in sixty seconds you will be saying "sixty", while right now you will be saying "one". "Sixty" and "one" are not the same, and you will have remembered counting to sixty, while a minute ago you would not have remembered it. Therefore the you from a minute ago is not the same as the you from right now, and you have changed.

It is not the responsibility of the individual to avoid changing. They could not if they tried. It is their responsibility to control and steer their change in a direction that suits them most. That is both possible and intuitive to human nature.

My posts are meant to be positive as well. It is not a debate so much as others pointing out inconsistencies and him disliking them. From my perspective, while it is somewhat important, intention is not as important as result and good intentions are often the cause of bad advice.

 

My Dad always rages about the media and it's negative influences on the world. I afree, some are positive and who we are is now somehow defined by the media but we can't fight it, we cant' run from it, we can only learn to not let the negative effects get to us that much.

Mike, thank you, I know for one I get horribly affected by it as it states that all girls must be skinny to be beautiful and it makes me feel worthless sometimes. However, now that I can see the effects it is having I can counteract it. It is not easy in any way, shape or form but it is possible with the right frame of mind (which is also hard to come by).

 

It doesn't really matter. If you think changing something about yourself will make you feel better, and is healthy, do it. Even if society was why you wanted to change it.

Society's distaste can help someone change for the better or for the worse. It's not a bad thing to care about what people think of you.

 

This sounds like a monk saying....someone go grab "The 1001 Overused Monk Teachings" to make sure of this

 

Agreed, that too. Pressure from society is not all bad in the same way that obstacles are not inherently a bad thing. You need them in order to mature.