Well, I wasn't exactly sure where to put this. I don't really need 'help' as such but I think it is worth reading: In year 11 my school merged with an all-boys school and so I'm in a co-ed one . All my friends turned into skanks and HAD to have a boyfriend within the first term. I figured, 'yah thats cool, but I'm not going to conform to that.' The whole way through year 11 I was really confident with myself, until about a few weeks ago...one of my friends had put me on the spot, questioning everything I did, everything I liked. Why I didn't have a boyfriend, why I've never had a boyfriend, why I like purple, why I wear converses, why I like rock music, why I play video games. All of these fricken questions that I had known the answers to suddenly made me paranoid over the past 6 weeks. I've been really confused about myself, and I really didn't know how to be 'myself' anymore, seeing as I kinda forgot who I was. It was a combination of all of these really paranoid thoughts mashed up in my head, and I hated it, so much! I gave my iTunes a major facelift-getting rid of all of the emo rock stuff that I like and replacing it with cool mainstream music, which I also like. During this time, I had gotten closer with a particular male friend of mine, who relatively had the same confidence issues I had, but he will never admit it. Anyway, today I had my friends over for Australia Day, and I was really nervous about playing my playlist...seeing as I really didn't know what people would think: Taio Cruz-Hangover "Hey, this is pretty cool!" Train-Drops of Jupiter "OMG I remember this song!!!" Linkin Park-Numb "OMG! <3" When all of my friends left I realised something-I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I just added all of my rock stuff back on to my playlist, and literally TEARS OF JOY came when I heard Three Days Grace-I Hate Everything About You. It was like I missed myself, and I was about to lose a battle with myself that I didn't have to have in the first place!!! My message to all of you: BE WHO YOU ARE! IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BE THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE, AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW. BE CONFIDENT THAT YOU ARE AMAZING IN EVERY WAY, SHAPE AND FORM, AND NOT A DAMN THING IN THE WORLD IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT!!! BE PROUD OF YOUR INTERESTS, YOUR HOBBIES, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS (or lack thereof :P) YOU ARE YOU, AND YOU ARE AWESOME, ANY OTHER THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD ARE COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL AND FULL OF NEGATIVITY! BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE AMAZING!!! To quote Linkin Park-Iridescent: "Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? You build up hope, but failure's all you've known? Remember all the sadness and frustration And let it go...let it go..." I think it was something that had to be shared, comment if you like, and move it to Discussion if you don't think it belongs here. It just seems like I keep reading threads about people who are confused and paranoid about who they are, that they're losing their identity because everything they've known is suddenly unacceptable, even to them. More or less, I was just trying to cheer people up, while getting things off my chest, but if it doesn't belong here, I'm fine with it being moved or locked or deleted :)
I have this self-confrontation often. I just remember, it's my mind, my body and my life. No one Else's. When the part of me I don't like emerges, I boss battle his ass back to the depths of my sub conscience. It's just how you level up in life.
So basically in short you were being yourself then your friends started to change themselves for boys so they can get a boyfriend and you were coaxed into changing yourself but then realized that it didn't matter and that you have more respect for yourself now is that correct?
Pretty much lol, but the fact of the matter is that these past 6 weeks have been hell for me because I've been really paranoid and confused and generally just blehh :)
Well when you and me talk you sounded carefree to me hey that rhymed lol but anyway I'm sorry that you had hell in those 6 weeks but now you don't need to have it anymore seeing as how you've found the answer to what was causing you pain. So as a result you have become smarter and also stronger in the process :)
I see, well glad to see it's all been worked out friendo :) and like your ranking thing or whatever it's called says, "Keep Smiling :)" lol
I believe this belongs here. Help With Life means more then just asking questions, it also means that sharing experiences with others who may be in the same situation as you have been in. There aren't enough threads like this. I've had a crisis in myself a while ago, a dark time as always bu something we all push through to feel much better about ourselves, I believe. Glad to see you turned out happier then before, enjoy the male company and avoid skanks that care more about acting like thing there not, instead of being who they are.
