I return! TMM reveals your true self: The Staff

Why hello there

Funny how we keep crossing paths like this. You there, with your heads full of eyeballs and goo...and me, well..me with my enormous penis. It's almost as if the great black hand of fate plucks me, like fresh cotton from a Georgia plantation, and places me gently in the warm embrace of your white slave-driving arms, and as such I am the means in which to fuel your crack-addicted womanizing ways, and through my presence you find purpose and fulfillment in this world. We are bound together by an unbreakable destiny, You & I, with your need to be a ****** website populated by people who aren't funny, and my need to make other people angry on the internet. Can't you see, my dear KH-Vids? We complete each other.

But really, let's get back to my enormous penis. "Enormous" might even be too modest of a description, it's astronomical, really, so much so that they say too much exposure to my penis and you'll start to see God. Now you may be asking, "TheMuffinMan, you herculean upholder of all that is sexy and good, how does this affect you?", and I shall tell you now! Yes, I have seen a God, and that God was Thor.

He came upon me from the great golden city of Valhalla, and brandishing his mighty hammer he challenged me and my penis. Our respective "tools" clashed in the night, sending streaks of lightning across the skies in a battle that raged on for what seemed like days, but for my penis that is but an afternoon quicky before brunch at Denny's. We fought in deserts, on icebergs, in dark city streets, and even upon a children's merry-go-round, eventually ending at the rocky shores at the end of the Earth. With our backs to the endless abyss we clashed once more, and with such force seismic waves rippled through the ground beneath us.

"How!", he chokes out as he struggles to hold his ground, "How do you last for so long!". Sensing the fatigue within him I stare into his eyes, eyes which stare back at me with a faltering will to fight, and I say to him "I AM BROLY MY POWER IS MAXIMUM", and with a final push his hammer shatters in two. Casting away his hammer and falling to his knees like the broken man he is, arms limp like my penis would never become, the Viking God concedes his golden chariot and endless supply of hot and sexy wenches to me.

As I ride off into the sunset, leaving him powerless at the ends of the Earth, forever to dwell on his defeat at the hands of my glans, I turn to him and shout "Also, lots of Viagra!".

And that's how babies are made.

Now then, what did I make this thread for again? Oh yeah, as a celebration of my return, I have decided to treat the Staff as a whole to a group look into your True Selves. So, here you are, enjoy:

Spoiler

And a special bonus True Self:

Spoiler

Meanwhile; at the "Should Be Staff" Headquarters
http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/1504/shouldbestaff.png

 

Spdude Inc is my favorite. <:]

 

Best one ever.

 

i liked the pictures but i need a tl;dr for the text :/

 

Holy **** man, this is awesome.

 

Thread of The Year = This Thread

 

lol. Just lol.

 

I don't know whether to laugh or be offended. So I'll do both and live in the confusion you've just caused me.

 

Judging from the questions you asked me on MSN, I'm assuming I'm the hipster in the 'real life' panel. :lolface:

 

*bows to epic-ness*

 

OMG...that's kinda cool. I must rep you.

 

Liked the thing about Rvr, haha.

 

Seems like you've invented some sort of penis goggles that creates an illusion for the wearer to see his organ reach new heights when in-fact it's no longer than a jellybaby. =/

 

what the fuck is a jellybaby

are they massive and provide orgasms

because if so, then that is absolutely appropriate

 

this was awesome plz make more

 

how to use "Saggot":

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you win

 

sucka*****

 

This. spdude Inc. made me lol pretty hard.

 

Yes .