I really kind of only told Plums this and just tonight but uhm basically I broke down and told my mother about some things I've been doing that I'd kept secret. To name names, cutting, purging, starving, homicidal thoughts, suicide attempts/suicidal thoughts I couldn't escape. Her solution is to send me to a therapist. I really, really would prefer not to go to one, mostly out of fear of being put on anti-depressants or other meds. I'm strongly against taking medicine that is so over prescribed. To keep from these medications, I'd like some thoughts and help with three main issues. 1. Distractions - I need to find distractions from suicidal/homicidal/harmful thoughts. They're nothing new, but I need to learn to be in control of them. 2. Focus - I need to find a way to focus better on my work such as homework. My grades are dropping because I can't focus on my work and it's adding to the stress that drives me to self-harm. 3. How to keep food down - This is kind of big. I'm far from skinny, but if you ever doubted it let me tell you that what they say about purging not actually helping you lose weight is true. I kind of want to learn how to better keep down food even if it disgusts me. I don't want more health issues than I have. It's at the point where I can't even watch people eating, and I spend lunch breaks and dinner time away from friends/family to escape food. Any help/suggestions would be greatlygreatlygreatly appreciated. </3
Agreed. Anyway, if you're going to school, I guess you could try to really get into your studies and not think about bad thoughts. If you don't want to talk to a therapist, talk to a friend you trust or a teacher.
MG: For now I'm just grateful when I can get death out of the back of my mind. I feel like learning to push away the thoughts will help me learn to fully control them. Amuary: I've tried talking to some friends but it's been of no help, really. I don't have any teachers or counselors I trust.
I agree on the fact that meds aren't going to solve the problem. Not everything can be fixed with meds you know. 1. Have thought about taking up a hobby? Like collecting, playing video games, drawing, reading, etc. 2. I'm going to be honest with you, when you do your work tune out everything else get in a kinda zone if you will. Focus on your work and only your work. 3. This is tricky, but try and spend more time around food so you know a few minutes at a time. Baby steps. But to me the problem seems to be a matter of willpower. Keep staying around food and keep telling yourself that food will not affect me and I will not give in. I hope this helps you.
1. the sock ruse was a dista- Okay that probably didn't help to much. But my point with that being you should distract yourself with things that make you feel happy. Try re-reading Homestuck, or hang out with some friends, or vegetate in front of Photoshop. Just anything you can do that makes you feel good about yourself and things around you, do it. 2. I mentioned this in MSN, but try starting off with food you like. I know the process disgusts you greatly, but think about the repercussions of not eating. It would be incredibly agaonizing, both to you and the people that care about you. Maybe starting off with the minty foods and then working your way around could help. 3. I haven't really perfected this either when it comes to doing it at home, but try doing your homework during school. It's probably easier for me to say that because i only really have 6/9 classes that aren't study halls,lunch or gym, but if you finish it all there, you don't have to worry about it being there when you get home. staring you in the face. ;_;
... I'll be a meanie now. But if you can't handle these problems alone, go to a therapist. People have the wrong idea about it, really. I know where you're coming from. This year I completely broke down. I couldn't do anything but crying. Everything, my complete body was hurting. And yes, I went to a therapist. And I feel so much better now. So if you keep having these problems, consider seeing a professional. They are not scary, they will not give you pills the second you walk into the office, they will not think you're crazy... It has helped me so much, and if you can't help yourself, keep the option open.
I know where you're coming from, i've wanted to see a therapist for a while now, but seeing a therapist is not always the best solution for everyone. Sometimes it doesn't help, others it makes things worse. If someone is forced to go to a therapist that definitely wouldn't turn out good. I get depressed a lot and basically sleep, but this is a different matter all together. Okay so if you are looking for distractions maybe try reading books or other type of media. Also, if you could, pets relieve stress and calm people down. If you have any feelings you would like to take out physically try getting a punching bag (or something, just not a wall) and hitting it. Now for the focus all I can say is to just try, think about how great it's gonna be once you're finished. I know what it's like to just want to quit (I did for a while) it's not fun at all. I started worrying about my future and other stuff so it ended up just being worse. Also, you can try and seek help if you are having troubles with a certain subject, or multiple subjects. There are many places you can go to get help for homework. As for the keeping food down part . . . i'm not really sure, what problem do you have exactly (is it the taste, or just the thought of the food, etc.)
