I need excuses for the morning.

For reasons that are better left unsaid, there is a knife stuck into my kitchen wall.

Can we get something creative for help . . .? I'm too tired to think of anything.

 

Just say there was a spider.

 

interior decorating.

 

You thought you saw a zombie. You killed it and cleaned it all, but you didn't want to touch the weapon in case the police came and started to ask questions about the missing mayor.

 

Hmm . . . these are all great excuses . . .

I may go with the spider one, though there is a stunning lack of the spider's body and its mess . . .

Ah, my parents are gonna kill me in the morning.

 

"I didn't do it."​

 

Ididntdoitnobodysawmedoityoucantproveanything

 

I use cutlery in all of my Deeeeecorating.

 

Theres a few spoons imbedded in my wall and i once kicked a garbage can, leaving an interesting crescent shaped hole.

Also, tell them you were practicing your knife throwing.

 

Okay, so here's what I told my mom and dad . . .

"Why is there a knife in the wall?!"

"See, about that . . . I was having a nightmare that I was being chased by zombies and giant spiders and that the Cookie Monster was their Nazi leader, and they were trying to catch me because they wanted me to do their interior decorating because the zombies were complaining about having cookies as their wallpaper.

I told the Cookie Monster that I only used cutlery for my decorating, but I also wanted to practice my knife throwing."

So in tl;dr: I was sleepwalking.

"And mom and dad, that's why there's a knife in my kitchen wall."

"You're paying for this."

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-"

 

You could've just drawn a silly picture and put it over the hole.

 

Why not remove the knife from the wall and put some clear tape over it, make it look old then tell them it's always been there?

 

How much is it going to cost you?

 

Around fifty to sixty dollars. I'm only paying for it because of my mom, she wanted me dead this morning.

 

She wanted you dead? Really? Why do you say that?

 

Because she explicitly said, "You're a waste of space, a smart ass ***** who is too lazy! Sometimes I wish you were dead!"

And thus, she wants me dead.

 

there was a spider-mouse.

 

That sounds pretty half-hearted, but I guess it would hurt anyway. Not that she was wrong to be angry, but you did offer to pay for it... Or did you?

 

dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!