If anyone I know in real life finds this and finds out I wrote it I'll deny every word of it and it's existence. Some story events in this are from unfinished and unreleased projects of mine. Very loosely based on Fatal Frame 3's mythology but who cares 8D Read this if you're not familiar with Fatal Frame 3's Mythology Spoiler In the game, those who have lost a loved one by death will dream about a big house covered in snow called the Manor of Sleep. For a certain number of times they will have the same exact dream whenever they sleep. They will tend to follow the person who had died. Every time they go deeper and deeper into the Manor of Sleep as they follow the person. They'll sleep more, possibly for days and their waking hours decrease every time. A Tattooed Priestess (Reika Kuze) walks around the manor. She'll touch anyone who has entered the manor causing the tattoo curse, a curse that will cause pain whenever the person wakes up or thinks about the person they've lost, it'll show a tattoo spreading from where the Tattooed Priestess had touched her victims, the more the tattoo spreads... the more painful the curse becomes. It is a curse that is very fatal with no way to escape it. This is a very heavy heavy story. It describes the pain I was feeling years ago. Dont worry, the pain I was feeling back then is gone and that person who I was who was in a very dark dark place at the time and most of that person who was still lingering inside me now is dead, Im a new person who is reborn into light. This is the first time I've ever written anything like this really, it makes my other ones look like crap. This will be the only story I'll ever post in KH-Vids because I liked how it turned out. Final note: If you've never read or played a visual novel or sound novel like Higurashi no Naku Koro ni or Umineko no Naku Koro ni you might be confused with the writing structure of the story. Just use as much common sense as possible when it comes to conversations between characters. Enjoy~ Character Bios (have fun reading) Spoiler Taka (24). Height: 6"1 Bio: A man with a bright caring heart yet is a bit clueless at times. Someone you would least suspect to have the desire for men due to the fact that he dose not met the stereotypes as homosexuals are portrayed in the media (the way he dresses up, talk, act, etc.) he looks like anyone you would suspect to have girls chasing after him. Shinpachi (25) Height: 6"3 Bio: Taka's love interest. A very happy man with the ability to make Taka Smile or laugh whenever no matter how foul Taka's mood is.They've been friends for a few months and both got along quite well. Met while bumping into each other in a train going to Tokyo. Hes fit, strong, tan, and loves to be very active with sport activities. Just like Taka, shes the type you would expect a mob of girls chasing after him. Saya (24) Height: 5"1 Bio: Taka's friend since their high school years. A short thin woman with light skin and a woman with a strong steel heart that no matter what you can do you could never get her upset. She cares about her friends and make sure everyone is happy. She doesn't care what people think of her she acts rebellious to those who gets in the way of what she wants during her high school years but is a bit more mature about things now. Story Spoiler I was in a dark place. All I could see was lights going off and on. All I could hear were rain drops. I sleep comfortably in the passenger seat then woke up moaning and slowly opening my eyelids. "Had a nice nap?" The drivers voice made me jump. "Ah! Did I fall asleep?" The driver started to laugh at me. "Relax, it's just the two of us." I started to relax and let loose a little. "Are we there yet?" "Yeah, we're not that far. You basically slept through the entire ride. I was feeling a little lonely yet amused hearing you sleep, it was impossible for me to get bored." My face started to turn red as he said that. "What did you hear? Was I talking in my sleep?" "Yeah, you said you'll slay every bunny to ever hop on the earth." "Did not!" He laughed at me again. "Just kidding, all I heard were normal sounds... you breathing." Just as he said that... I felt a little comforting sensation for some reason... it made me smile. I watched the rain drops falling on the windshield of his car, they would light up like Christmas lights whenever we pass a car or light post along the way. The Driver is a friend of mine. Someone I knew for a while. Just a year older than me. When we first met me got along very quickly. Some would joke and say "Wow, if one you were born a girl you two would make a cute couple." we like to freak people out by playing along and say with a smile hugging each other "What if we already are?" then they would walk away, the girls would for some reason like to scream like crazy fan girls of some attractive young male model or celebrity. Another thing is, whenever hes around I feel like everything is ok, whenever he smiles or laugh I suddenly feel the need to smile and laugh with him, whenever Im angry, sad, or feel like Im out of my luck just his presence or a message from him would always calm me down and I would suddenly have a smile on my face no matter what. I've always admired the type of person he is. Very happy. Always with a smile on his face. I've complimented about his necklace once. It was a chain necklace with a dark blue stone on it. I liked it a lot. "Is this your place?" "Yeah. Are you sure you dont want to spend the night here? It is very late." "Im fine, See you later Taka." "Drive safely." "I promise." We smiled at each other and I stepped out of his car. I watched him drive away till I couldn't see his car anymore. The rain started to lighten up. I looked up and closed my eyes. The rain felt good against my checks. It was calming like his presence. We both enjoy the rain while no one we knew did. We would laugh and make fun of people who cry and whine about how depressing the rain is or when they freak out about a little tiny rain drop on their shoe, outfit, hair. I finally went inside and dried myself then went to bed. My room wasn't very big. It was enough room for a bed fit for one person on the wall where the window is so I can hear the rain if it's hard for me to sleep, a desk with my desktop computer, and a bookshelf with random books I've collected during my high school days that I plan to get rid of for money and the top shelf had a small number of video games. I dont play many video games but there was this specific series that I like about a camera that is able to let you see spirits and seal away the ones that attack you. It sounds stupid to many people but screw em, just as long as I like it. I can hook up the game systems to my monitor and play them using my computer screen which took me a while to realize how to use that feature. I dont watch television nor I have any use for one sense my computer seems to be my entertainment when it comes to watching shows or use my computer screen to play these games. I lay down on my bed but didn't bother to put any covers on me even though it was a cold winter night of December. All I could think about was him for some reason. His eyes that never seems to leave my mind for a second. I close my eyes and could literally feel his presence in my room and his hand touching my hair. I opened my eyes but he wasn't really here with me. I always lock my door whenever I sleep like anyone would. I felt like it was all in my head so I closed my eyes and listened to the rain then went into a deep deep sleep. When I woke up my friend Saya called me that morning. "Saya? Whats wrong? You sound like someone died." She stayed silent and finally spoke. "Are you busy today? Can I come over very quick? I need to tell you something." She came over shortly after. Saya had long dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a bit shorter than me. She came with a brave face. She sat on my chair while I sat on my bed wondering what she needed to talk to me about. "So how's things? Good?" "Yeah, hope the sames for you." She stayed quiet for a few seconds till I broke the silence. "Uhh... so what did you needed to talk to me about?" "Oh! What was that game you keep talking about online? Akai Chou was it?" "Yeah, what about it?" "Oh nothing, I hear that there is going to be a remake for it coming out possibly next year from what I've heard. Oh there is also a spin off coming out next month, 'Shinrei Camera' I believe that's whats it's called have you heard of it?" "Yeah." I could tell shes keeping something from me. "Be real, what did you really came here to talk to me about?" Her face started to show what she was really feeling inside. She looked down enough her long hair hid her face. "Im sorry." "It's ok, just tell me whats going on." "Have you spoken to Shinpachi since last night?" "No, I dont think he would be awake at this time." She stood up and walked to the door then opened it taking a step out. "Hey, what's wrong? Is there something about him you wanted to tell me?" She stopped and said nothing. "Tell me whats wrong. You're making me very worried about you." Saya started to sound like she was crying at the spot. "You're worried about me you say? That's funny. You of all people should have known by now. You would've been the first person to know before any of us but here you are, very clueless of whats happened." This isn't like Saya. The Saya I knew was happy, kind, and would never say things like this to anyone even if they were to get her upset. "Is there something you're not telling me?" "So... you really dont know do you?" "Know what?" "Hes dead." Saya left my room closing the door then left my place locking my front door as well. I stayed quiet and didn't move for a long period of time then fell to my knees in tears. I felt like a large gap in the center of my being that would never heal was created. So painful. I suddenly couldn't feel anything for anyone or anything any more. I was told soon after he dropped me off a driver that fell asleep hit him. The driver surviving but not him. I was full of sudden rage I wanted to kill the driver but wouldn't do so because it isn't something he would want me to do so. I forced myself to stop having those thoughts within me and they went away eventually. I attended his funeral service. I looked at his face one last time then went home without saying a word to anyone. I was living by myself in a small apartment. I sat on my bed and felt very empty inside like if I was a living door that doesn't want to be touched or be accompanied by anyone. I stopped talking and avoided contact with everyone I knew by disconnecting my computer and removing the battery of my phone. A day had gone by and the pain inside me started to worsen. I thought maybe it would be better for me to take a walk, get fresh air but it didn't last very long. During my walk it started to rain. People started to scatter and go under things so they wont get wet. I went home. Looked outside my bedroom window. "He would have loved this..." Just that only thought made me realize how empty and worthless I am without him around to cheer me up. I went to my bath room and came across a pair of scissors. I held them to my throat. Sounds of someone entering my apartment could be heard but I ignored them because nothing seemed to matter to me anymore. I want to be with him. I want to see that smiling face of his again. I aimed them to my throat and just as I was about to to end my life... "Dont!" Saya made me drop them by slapping my hand so hard it was enough to snap me out of it. She slapped my face a few times then yelled at me. "Are you crazy?! Do you really think I enjoy having my friends die one after another?!" I started to cry after realizing how much pain I would have caused people. She held me in her arms. I didn't know for how long she held me in her arms while I was in tears but it felt like forever. I couldn't stop. Nearly a year had past and I started to have very odd dreams. My surroundings were like if it was snowing endlessly. I could see my apartment building covered in snow. Everything inside was covered in snow. I felt a familiar presence behind me. When I turned around I suddenly woke up. Before I woke up I was able to see a vague glance of someone. I've been having the same dream for days. That vague figure became clear each time. I knew it was Shinpachi. Whenever try to run to him I end up waking up. I told Saya about my dreams. She had a very shocked expression on her face. "Don't follow him..." "What? Why?" "Tonight will be one year since his death. Hes dead. I thought you finally accepted it." "I can't just ignore it. What could possibly happen to me if I do?" "....You'll die..." Saya showed me reports of people with the same condition as me. I was surprised it happens to people at certain cases. "I'll help you. You're not going though this alone." "How?" "I'm going into the dream with you." "How?" Saya was into the magics, witchcraft, or whatever it's called. She said shes able to go into the dreams of people doing a ritual. I agreed for her to do this. And so nightfall came. Saya prepared what she needed to do for what is to be taken place. The ritual made her go to sleep making her go into stand by mode until I fall asleep. She made me wear a necklace with a ruby stone inside it. I finally fell asleep. And so the dream began. Saya was standing in front of me. "Is this your dream? It looks so much as you and many others described." "It's different. This isn't my apartment. It's his house." "Whatever you do. Dont follow him or lose that necklace." She sounded dead serious about the situation, I was scared to ask her what would happen. I've never seen her act this way before. I wonder for how long shes been doing this. I looked at one direction then looked back at Saya but she was gone. I heard footsteps coming from up stairs. I went to see what was making the noise. I couldn't find anyone. I went into his room. His window was bright as day while the rest of the house was dark. His window suddenly went dark. SLAM! A hand slammed on the window. It was the hand of a woman. Her head raised up to mine. Her hair covered her face. She was very pale. She swift away then left my sight. You'll never escape me. You'll be mine... all mine... just like the others.... Things in the house started to shake. An earthquake began out of nowhere. Saya's voice could be heard from a distance and I followed it. I ran down the stairs to the living room. Saya was there waiting for me. "Whats going on?!" The earthquake stopped. "I think it's over. Remember the plan. Dont follow him if you see him." Shinpachi's shadow could be seen from the curtains of the living room window. Knocking could be heard from the door. "Don't." "But I-" "No, you'll die!" The knocking became louder and louder each time. "Taka...." From just the sound of his voice.... the owner of the voice that I've longed to see again is just on the other side of the door. "Shinpachi....." The fact that Saya was there in the same room with me left my memory. She came running after me. The only thing she could grab was the necklace. She ripped it off without realizing what she had done. The spell she put on it failed. She returned to the real world. "Dont open that door!!" I opened the door. I ended up at my apartment. Shinpachi's presence was there, I could feel him. "Just like...... in my dream." I turned around. He was there. I took steps forward leading to him. I couldn't believe my eyes. It's really him. "I've been so alone without you. I was scared not being able to see you for the rest of my life. I was in so much pain. I still am. I was so desperate to see you that... I was willing to commit suicide just to be with you... to be able to hear your voice.... and to see your face once more... just once more.... one more time... all that just.... just to tell you something that I've been wanting to tell you.... something that I didn't realized till you were robbed from my life. I..." Shinpachi came walking close to me. He held me in his arms. I started to cry. "................I love you...... I've always have since..... since the first time I've met you" "I love you too.... It's been the same with me but couldn't bring myself to tell you." His words shocked my entire being. I looked up at him. Our eyes met. I laid my head on his shoulder but noticed that woman I've seen before behind him from a distance. Her surroundings were very dark. Pitch black. An endless void. I was able to see her face. Her bony face could be seen from a distance. Her eyes where red and yellow mixed together like the blazing fires of hell. You can see the tormented souls of people suffering from just looking into her gaze like if they were the windows of hell. "Shes coming for me......" The woman comes our way. I held on to him tighter. "Dont let her take me." I started to cry in fear that I held on to him for dear life. She raises her hand as she came closer and closer to me. She finally became at reaching distance to me. "I wont let her." A light came from him. It was so blinding the woman that was out to take me away went away into the darkness. All around me was light. Shinpachi hugged me from behind. "Listen closely.... I'll protect you... I'll always be there with you... till the day you die.... but promise me that you'll die a natural death... dont think about suicide.... that is the easy way out. If you truly love me and want to see me again.... live... promise me that you'll live a long happy life. That is the only way you'll be able to see me again. It is the only way that you'll earn to see me once again. Please promise me." "I promise." Tears started to run down my cheeks. His presence soon started to fade then everything went dark. Epiloge I woke up. I walked out of my room. Saya was sound asleep in my couch. I walked out to the balcony. My apartment was on the fifth floor. It was still dark out. I felt Shinpachi holding me once more then the feeling went away. "You really are with me." I noticed that I was holding something in my hand. The necklace he would always wear with the dark blue stone was in my hand. I put it around my neck and smiled then a tear went down my cheek. I touched my cheek and looked down. "No... you'll always be with me..." As soon as I knew it... the sun started to raise. I looked up and watched it rise from my balcony with a smile while holding the dark blue stone that is part of the necklace that was once his. (END) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Misc stuff Originally I planned the Reika-like being would come and kill Saya but the idea was scrapped.
The Character Bios discouraged me from reading any further. The characters sounded too perfect, too "pretty". I'm not keen on casts like that. Nevertheless, I pushed on and read your story from beginning to end. Personally, your writing style wasn't my thing. I like it when authors stick to the essence of things instead of wandering off but you stretched that quality up to the breaking point in my opinion. Some events demanded a more detailed and vivid description, especially in the horror genre: speeding through your own story kills the suspense. That being said, there was a lot to like in the fast pacing of the story as well. All in all, your story was economical: you said a lot in few lines. I like that, but I still think you skimped on details more than you should have. While it was to be expected given the setting, the "power of love" plot point that saved Taka in the end came off as a deus ex machina, and I'm not very fond of those either. I can savor love stories, but not when they're cooked in "love conquers all" sauce. All in all, not a bad story at all, but could have use some more meat.
