I Married A Wall

But now i'm cheating on it with a fence

A woman who married the Berlin Wall has been cheating on her husband...with a fence.

Bonkers Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer - her surname is "Berlin Wall" in German, wed the structure in 1979.



But cracks appeared in her marriage when Berlin was reunified in 1989 and the wall began to crumble.

After that, her eyes wandered to another strong, silent type, this time closer to home.
She hedged her bets and dated the garden fence for several years.

Eija-Riitta, from Liden, Sweden, claims to suffer from an illness called Objectum-Sexual.
The condition sees sufferers think of objects as humans with a gender and clear personality.

Eija Riitta, 54, said "I know it's difficult for people to understand but i was born like this. I have never wanted to be with a person. The Great Wall of China is attractive but he is too thick, the Berlin wall is sexier. What they did to my husband was dreadful. I couldn't look at the television. It was not his fault. They built him and then they mutilated him."

When she wed the Berlin Wall, who she still calls "my darling husband", Eija-Riitta invited friends and family and wore white.

She told him the congregation applauded at the end of the service - however witnesses said the groom remained stony-faced throughout.

Down the years she also became close to several model bridges.



Amazingly she isn't the only sufferer of OS.

A 43 year old British woman identified only as Emma is registered as having the condition, and is currently dating a stereo called Jake.

 

....Wha--

Wait, I won't even bother with this.

 

Freaky... But she will never have sex or have any sort of intimate relationship.

 

...............lol
​

 

.....oh...oh my. xD aha.

 

I do often feel sexually attracted to my laptop..

Oh.. laptop.. mmmmmm.

 

Unless she notices a stone piece or little tree starting to sprout out of the side.

SEXUAL!

 

ummm...lol.

O.O

Dump'd your last for a new sleeker, sexier machine?

 

Oh Gawd...>< What...?

 

0_o Oh wow.... that's a bit strange... that's all I'm going to say.

 

Is this even true!?!

I mean,
it's funny,
and probable....but also very unbeleivable.

I once thought of dating my math book......
But as you may have guessed....
there were problems with the relationship.
Plus I hated being with a girl who was smarter than me.
But sometimes she would keep me up all night long......
.....with long division.

 

You mean like Cin? ;D

I like to smash his keys.
​