I used to really like my friend Patrick even though we had nothing in common, and he found out I liked him, and then we started dating, but I just found out he's an atheist, and he hates it when I talk about talking to Jesus and God, and... I just can't find it in me to like him anymore. He refuses to listen to my music and go to church with me. Am I wrong to not like him anymore? I can't even sleep. I feel so guilty...
It's stupid of him not to look past the religious aspect of music to enjoy it (I assume you listen to Christian rock like Skillet and RED?), but when it comes to going to church he's absolutely right. He doesn't have to waste his time in a religious building and listening to a priest; that's pointless to him. Apparently you both disrespect eachother's beliefs. He by silencing you when you want to speak of your beliefs, and you by dragging him along in what's all just a farce to him. You can't expect to come very far with that. If you want things to work out you'll need to talk it over and make clear indisputable arrangements at the very least, but my instinct says to advise against it altogether. Nevertheless, friendship and even romance is still possible if you both agree not to cross swords over religion again. As far as the blame game goes, I say you're worth eachother. Like I said; mutual disrespect. I wouldn't dislike someone as a whole because (s)he dislikes one aspect of my personality, albeit an important one. To each their own though, I guess.
I'm not sure why you feel 'guilty' instead of upset that you two are not working out because of a difference in religious viewpoint. Neither of you is doing anything 'wrong' in one sense. Sometimes we just find that someone we go out with is in the end, not the right person. If you two do want to go out with one another, you have to both tolerate each other's religious viewpoints and look past them to see the other fine qualities you both have that brought you together. If you cannot do this, then perhaps it is time to say 'let's just be friends'. Neither of you can really expect the other person to change that much if your religion is very important to you and to him, religion means nothing. You are both going to feel forced and constrained to things unless you care about each other otherwise to deal with it. In other words, he needs to accept you are going to now and then talk about Jesus and God, much to his dismay. You would have to accept that he's not going to go with you to church or want to hang around a group of people that want to worship God and Jesus when they are all talking about it and trying to convert him. If this cannot be done, it means nothing against either of you. It just means that both of you have a strong sense in your beliefs and in this case, it inhibits you from being able to get closer than a friendship. There's nothing wrong with either of you. Just sometimes things don't work out according to plan. I would not feel guilty over it. Neither of you is doing something wrong or rotten to the other as in cheating or lying etc. You're both decent people. It sucks, but sometimes facing the fact early that you may not be suitable together in a relationship is better than dragging it on. I'd suggest that you both talk things out to tolerate each other's viewpoints more and if it cannot be done to either of your satisfactions, it's time to let each other go back to how you were before; being friends. I hope you feel better about things and good luck to you.
Well i suppose i could offer some advice thoug i may just be repeating what Repliku and Styx have said. both of you just dont agree with the others beliefs. certain things are a little overreactive(real word?). such as he shouldnt silence you about your beliefs. but you shouldnt try to drag him along to something that he must dislike(underestimation probably) ill give you an example. its like taking a homophobe to yaoi-con. it will NOT work out. but also him silencing you is like saying fall over to a well built concrete wall, should not happen. though if you can get over these a relationship is possible if not then well try to stay friends and find someone else oh., and you shouldnt feel too guilty but maybe a little guilt since this is only his doing but you are partially to blame but not fully remember that.
Styx and Repliku put it perfectly. You're going to need to look past this aspect for you two to work out. You shouldn't bring him to church, but he should respect your views. But if you still respect his views but genuinely "Can't find it in you to like him anymore" Because of his beliefs (or lack thereof), it's just not going to work out.
I don't know why, but I always thought you were a guy. Then when I read this, I thought you were gay. So as I'm typing a response, I checked your profile and found out you were a girl. I need to be more perceptive. Now for the actual post: One's faith is important to themselves. It's not incredibly immature. I don't understand why he won't listen to your music. If it doesn't suit his tastes (The flow of music, rhythm, etc.), then alright, but to disregard the music just because it's Christian is stubborn. I listened to Relient K a lot before I even knew they were a Christian Rock band. It's not wrong to be iffy about someone because they don't share your views, but you shouldn't stop liking him just like that. If he doesn't want to listen to the "Christian-talk," he needs to learn to tolerate some and you need to learn to tone it down. It takes a lot to turn someone to Jesus, not just talking about it or even going to church. You're both in the wrong here, but you both have your rights. Like Styx and Rep said, both of you need to learn to tolerate each other's beliefs.
It's basically being religiously intolerant. It's like throwing a bunch of stuff related to Judaism at a Muslim. They are going to get annoyed. Just accept that he's an atheist, and just don't bring the subjects up, don't try to make him go to church and whatnot. He's at least giving you a chance to back off on it, some people would have just broken up with you on the spot. How did you not know he was an Atheist beforehand, anyway? Shouldn't you know a bit about a person before you start dating?
Back up a minute. Why does it suddenly have to be all about HIM? What, she should just totally forget about her religion in front of him? No, she shouldn't just cater to him, and she shouldn't just cater to her beliefs either. It should be a MUTUAL respect for each other's beliefs. He should accept what kind of music she listens to and respect what she believes, but she should also back off a little bit and not try to take him to church. It's mutual. He shouldn't be catered to just because he's an atheist, and it shouldn't be the other way around either.
Seems to me that he's trying to make it clear that he doesn't want Christianity shoved at him. I'm not saying either party should be catered to. Magikarp said nothing about him pushing Atheism at her, and she also said nothing of him threatening to break up. Religion should just not be brought up amongst the two, and it can work out. Just because he "hates it" when she starts talking about "talking" to Jesus and God does not mean he's not being accepting. He's just annoyed by it. A good friend of mine likes Twilight, and I despise it. Therefore we don't bring up the subject. Similar situation should happen in Magikarp's relationship.
I had that problem... this guy was atheist and I was christian. (Still am) he talked about god like it was something ******ed (No offense) and it pissed me off! I was all angry and I just avoided him till he went to high school
Okay first of all, if I post this I don't want any prick to be contradicting me to get into a religious conflict because I don't want to. Okay girl, so you're a Christian and he is an Atheist right? Well, according to the bible (if I'm not mistaken), God does not support this..I'm not really sure how to say it in english ( yes excuse my latina ways) but there's a passage in the bible that says that you cannot marry a person who does not believe in God or goes against his laws/ words. I just wanted to point that one fact out. Also, it'll be a rough relationshio dearie, because he's against in what you believe in and let's hope he does not convince you turn into an Atheist too. But you also cannot force him to go to church with him or listen to Christian music if he doesn't want to, you can talk about God to him one day and all the good things He as done for us, if he is not interested or gets mad at you for this then don't push it and don't even try to talk about God to him again.
