I don't like myself

Listen. I've been feeling let down a lot recently, because I was kicked out of a community for spreading its secret, some of the people here are starting to get unfriendly, and I am actually dealing with stress to the point where I think suicide is best. Now I'm beginning to think life really is not worth it, looking back and all. All I have been doing is getting my ideas rejected, and getting kicked out of RPs here and there, I don't know where to go, and NOW I ACTUALLY WANT TO DIE.

If no one tolerates this message, feel free to insult me.

 

Sorry you feel this way but suicide is not the answer. If you're feeling upset or angry at people on the internet then the easiest thing to do is to turn off your computer and give yourself some time to relax and calm down. I promise you that no one here will ever try and make you feel upset on purpose, sometimes we misinterpret what people say and take it too seriously.

 

People make mistakes in life, Smash. They aren't good, but the fact is that you learn from them. You happened to spread there secret, okay, well it's over and done with. It should be and will be a thing of the past. They should realize this too.
As for people being unfriendly; this is the time when you should just step away from them and meet new people. Sometimes being around the same people a lot, they may seem to have different attitudes over time. This is your chance to get out and talk to others.
As for your stress situation, committing suicide is never the answer. Life is not as bad as you think it may be. Things will happen in life that can cause a great deal of stress, however, eventually things will come together and your stress will come to ease. You just have to hang in there and tell yourself to be strong until it comes to that point. Just don't worry about getting kicked from RPs and your ideas getting rejected. These little things shouldn't be putting stress on you, you shouldn't let it. If anything, get away from RPs for a while or just step away from the computer all together until your life off the computer gets situated. Then you can return and solve things online.
Overall, though, find a good friend and talk to them. Get things off your chest. Plus, they could have some advice to help you feel better. You could even possibly go hang out with them to get your mind off things.
I would never insult you about a situation. Everyone has there own reasons for being upset about something. So insulting you would be pointless.
Hang in there :)
Things will turn around for the better!

 

So ... of all the things life could possibly throw your ways, getting your ideas for an RP rejected (on a site run by morons) is the one that sends you to the deep end ? Dude, there are literally thousands of forums out there, just find a better one (or stay here, whatever). If I was you I' d troll the **** out of this site you mentioned, you' re burned there anyway so you might as well get a few chuckles out of the situation. Think of it as RP. ^^

 

Problem is that I can't find one that specializes in crossover's such as Droid's. And for your information, I was mistreated by teachers in my childhood.

 

Well if you don' t feel like searching can' t you just cut the crap and create one yourself ? I don' t RP so I don' t really pay attention, but aren' t there crossover RPs here ?

Didn' t mean to sound rude (not a psychic, I can only react to what you actually say), I just wanted to point out the one problem you mentioned is the kind that isn' t exactly crippling and can easily be solved.

 

There is Cove, but there are people there that don't want me back because of mistakes I made.

 

If you are getting really wound up you just need to remember that you're on the internet, and that people don't really act the same as they do IRL. Suicide is never a good option, you just need to let off some steam and create some space to breathe in and the mess should be sorted out. Besides, if the one RP keeps rejecting you, you should move on to another RP and then you will forget about this and remember at it as some asses on the internet. If you really are in a knot, then just talk to someone IRL, as the best advice you get will be from people who you know personally, not lights projected to form text on a screen.

 

Suicidal thoughts are starting to crawl back in. Just got rudely told off by a couple people. I'm really starting to hate people right now.

 

Smash, I've taken the liberty of editing out the names of the people in your post. I'd rather you either keep it private between you and them, or approach a staff member about it via PM, not state it in a public thread to call them out on. Please don't let it happen again.

To contribute to the thread though, I pretty much agree with Llave and strfruit. Suicide isn't the answer to solving this. Regardless of what the members of that forum (and possibly this one) had done, you shouldn't take away a life full of possibilities just because a few people were, for a lack of better phrasing, douchecanoes. Furthermore, maybe you just need to take up something besides crossover RPs?

If no one's interested in participating in a Crossover idea you might have, you're entirely free to just write it out as a story yourself and post it in the Writer's Nook, or make it an adventure game of sorts and put it in the Playground. There is much more to this site than Roleplaying (sorry guys ;c); you just have to look for things. If you can't find anything, you can always ask about things that are going on across the site (e.g. Signature of the Week, Dress Up Contest, etc).

Members and staff alike put some pretty heavy effort into running this stuff, y'know. :v Point is, don't just focus in on one small area of another small part of the whole. Explore around and find some other things, and if you feel comfortable to make another Crossover then, go for it. While the past can hold us back, we ourselves hold a certain amount of accountability for the small scope of our views, too.

 

No! Death is never the answer! I know how you feel because I been at a point like that before but I said to myself that **** those people who don't care about me because in the end God is going to punish them for what to do. So don't ever think about death as a way out. Its very cowardly! So if you ever want to talk you can talk to me!

 

Starting to feel uneasy. People have begun to hate me, even on this site.

I'm a total wreck right now.

 

I'm not try to make you feel any worse but its kinda rediculous that you would think of that just becuase of some Internet mishaps. I mean its kinda reasonable to be kicked from a community from telling secrets that weren't suppose to be told out side of it. Don't you agree? And getting kicked from some RPs? Does it really bother you that much? There's other things on the net besides that. You must be doing something wrong that is causing some people to not like you. People "usually" don't hate on people out of nowhere. I suggest you just stay of the web for a bit and think of the positives AND DON'T SAY THERE ISN'T ANY becuase there is. =)

 

I've seen this thread, I keep looking in on it. I haven't said anything because I can't find anything to say. Not because there isn't anything to say, but because I don't feel comfortable talking to people who claim to have suicidal ideas.

I fear that if I say anything, and they die I have failed, I have caused someone to die, and I will be responsible for their life. I've had people attempt suicide around me before, the most recent being a woman in her late twenties with a husband and a 2 year old daughter. She jumped onto the London Underground train tracks, and from last I heard, lost both her legs. I never saw it coming, no one at work did, we came in to hear it in the morning brief, that she'd done it. I was hired for the same job at the same time as her. I felt responsible in a way. Though... really I knew I wasn't. But here I am, scared to intervene when someone comes out with suicidal thoughts. If she came out to me and told me.... would I have simply ignored it? I'll never know, but I know now, here, I can't avoid it anymore. I may fail, I may take responsibility for something out of my hands, but i'm going to try. Better to try then do nothing and regret it.

I'm here to tell you, Smash, that these things, these people, don't matter when it comes to your life if you don't want them to be. I've recently been experiencing a turmoil of emotions from trying to help and support someone over the years, someone who in the end has been poisonous to my own mental health. It's been years, i've been trying to talk to this person, they don't want help, they're happy to sleep in their own stubborn and rigid ways. So after years... I've cut them off. Completely and utterly.
I advise you to do the same, cut out all the people who poison your mind with thoughts that lead you to feeling like life isn't worth living. Ignore the words of those that cause you harm, believe in yourself and ignore derogatory words.

And from my experience of depression, which is obviously what you're feeling, you need to fight on. Giving up will get you nowhere but one ending, the ending of defeat. I don't think you want to die, you're calling out here, you don't want to death, you want attention, sympathy and too much of that you're getting it. Talk to someone, plenty of people are willing to talk to you, and listen to what you have to say. Do so, you can handle it better together, we all can handle stuff better when we open ourselves up and are accepted by others. Your life won't get better, NOTHING will get better, if you don't stick it out and fight for it. It's not easy, it's meant to be, you're meant to earn it. So go and earn a better life and belief in yourself by fighting these feelings.

I hope you read this. I've done all I can, I think. The rest is up to you. You'll cause me pain. But if you die, you won't be the first person I cry about nor the last, I will manage, even with the depression it would cause me. I don't want you to cause pain in death, because you will, and not just to me, or other people on this site but to many people you know elsewhere.

 

Ive been where you are.
You feel absolutely broken to the point of your shell breaking...

Im not here to tell you how you may or may not feel tho...
Listen seriously.
Suicide is not the answer.
Whether you believe some stranger over the internet or not.
Its just not the right thing to do.
The right thing to do is to talk to somebody.
I understand that some of the community may not be very friendly now.
But i promise you ill always be here to listen.
And i assure you im not the only one here who cares about you.

Seriously dont even think about it just hit me up if you ever need anything.
The names William by the way. :)

 

Alright just understand this real quick. Killing yourself to feel for yourself for not being able to get the response you wanted for your ideals is just not worth it. Your ideals is something raw, and no one can take that away from you. Killing yourself will just take about all of what you're capable of, and that raw talent and skill you have and can bring to the table. Maybe others are threatened by the talent they see within you and it just pains them so they just want to discredit all that you are.

Next do not and I mean this do not let the internet be your downfall. That is the worse way, and worse thing to just have when it happens. There's people out there who just don't care and will feed and eat off of that. This is not the place to be if you want end it all it really isn't. Coming on the internet you gotta be aware people from all over have so much bs they deal with and come here(The net not just kh-v) to escape. At times it gets the best of them for they feel protected on the other side of the screen not knowing what their words are doing to others. And an example is what I just said last so stupid...

Unfair characters thinking its cool to speak with their arrogant mouths. Don't end something if you have yet to get started alright. You can pull through this slump easy just meet some new people and experience life where your heart is light and free not caged wanting to flee

 

This thread is days old now, but I think I should say something.

I remember being suicidal and doing self harm, but I thought what would happen if I did do suicide. The thought of my family reacting to my death breaks my heart, and I told my mother to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist and get me some medicine. I don't always think medicine solves everything, things like exercising and getting a healthier diet actually changed me a bit, but I still was depressed. So I have a psychiatrist to talk to every two months to get things off my chest, and anti-depressants to perk me up a bit. It may not be up to that point for you, but just talking about it to your family can help wonders. If your family does not take you seriously at first be persistent, it took me 3 years to actually be taken seriously about depression.

Don't let KHV affect you, after being on here for 6 years I can tell you one thing: The people on here can be extremely ******. They will pick the smallest details and bully you over it. I admit I was one of the bullies and every time I think of that I feel so stupid because I was one of those 'N00bs' at one point. So just ignore KHV, it might be hard, but don't let them change you.

 

So far, I'm getting nothing but disrespect since yesterday, and I honestly think nothing I do will get me anywhere. Someone on here is feeding my depression, and I am utterly sick of it.

I don't know how to put this in other words.

 

What are you doing to get disrespect? Really. You really need to not let them get to you especially if they are on the other side of the world. Just think of it this way. If people make fun of you, it's mostly because they are jealous of something you have. Not always physically. I really hope you don't get on 4chan. Just stay off the internet and enjoy the things outside of it. Hang with some friends or something.