As the title says, I don't know if you guys can help at all but I figured i would post anyway. Over the past year I have found myself becoming increasingly depressed and detached form others. This may come from a number of thing that happened in my past. First of all I was bullied all my life, the worst between grade 4 and grade 8. It was all one person that didn't like me (I don't know why i never did anything to her.) She was trying to steal my friends away from me. In elementary school all the girls in my class would hang out in one group, well the girl that was bullying me continued to tell me to go away and that no one liked me. I spent most of my time at the back of the group on alone. So that was my first problem. Then there was some other stuff having to do with one of my older cousins. I am not going to get into that one. When i was 10 my other cousin moved in with me. He had ADHD, when he moved in he began to get all the attention in the house. He was failing school and disobaying rules, so my parents spent alot of time trying to teach him not to do those things. During this time I felt a lack of attention, so I strived to do my best in school and get straight A's. That never actually got me the attention i really wanted though, so I just sucked it up and spent most of my time at my best friens house instead. On top of all this, my older brother and my cousin would pick on me because i was the youngest. From this i learned to hide my emotions, because they would laugh at me when i cried. This also made me stronger, physically and mentally. I stopped caring what people thought of me, and I am able to defend myself better than most other girls I know. But is this a good thing or a bad thing. Anyway in at the end of grade 8 I was forced to move to Nanaimo BC from Edmonton AB. this was really difficult for me but I got through it just fine. There were times I missed my friends but I never cried about it. I took the move better than my brother did, thats for sure. At this time my cousin moved in wiith his dad so he no longer lives with me anymore. So that brings us to now. I have lived here for three years now and have made some great friends, but as of this year I have found myself becoming more disconnected. I never want to hang out with anyone outside of school, and have found myself spending more and more time alone. Also i have found that alot of days i am depressed and have just a complete loss of ambition. (and no i don't think i have clinical depression, I have taken a psycology course and i don't quite fit into that catagory.) I use to enjoy volunteering at my churches Jr. youth but now i find it more of a choir, it is no longer fun. i have just been finding myself in a down mood lately and it is kind of worrying me. i was never this down when i was being bullied or anything. I talked to one of my friends about how I fell and I felt better for awhile, but that didn't last. I am back to the way i was before I told her now I don't know if you guys have any advice i haven't already heard or know but I am open to suggestions. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
The best suggestion I can give is to find something you are motivated and passionate about. Losing interest in friends and your extra activities is occasionally just a byproduct of growing up--the things that once entertained you have lost their appeal. Sometimes there's no real reason behind it. Without anything (or anyone, for that matter) to look forward to, it can be tough to justify getting out of bed in the morning. Explore some new interests. Things you started but never really finished, things you've always wanted to do. Anything. Take up painting or running or reading or writing. Join a club at your school. Do some volunteer work. The possibilities are only limited to what is available to you. Not only will it give you something to be excited about, you could meet some new people in the process. Or, bring one of your current friends along with you--it'll give you company if what you're trying turns out to be a dud, and if not, it may give you someone to share that new thing with.
It seems like you have the symptoms of clinical depression. You may have taken a psychology course, but it's always best to talk to professional. See your doctor first and see what he recommends. Until you do so, get some exercise or just go outside and get some fresh air. You can sit down and relax, or take a walk. That will release some endorphins so it'll make you a bit happier than you are now. But you should really talk to your doctor as soon as you can, because if it is clinical depression, it's going to keep spiraling downward. You may not have it, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
