I Can Wait

Discussion in 'Archives' started by T3F, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. T3F Chaser

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2008
    Gender:
    Female
    809
    I can wait

    The sun is setting
    On my last day
    The thoughts I have
    Will fade away

    No fun where I’m going
    No smiles to wear
    This prison I’m going to
    No one cares

    In the world of learning
    Authority strikes
    B*tches strike too
    Their words of spikes

    For my holiday to end
    I can wait
    For my inability to find friends
    I can wait

    For the rumours circling me
    I can wait
    For the struggle to be free
    I can wait

    For the numbing pains in my head
    I can wait
    For my life to end


    I can wait

    so, what do you think???
     
  2. T A F F Y シ Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    France, Marseille
    138
    693
    I love it Dear
    It rhymes Perfectly ^^
    Great Job :]
    :3
     
  3. Aura Goddess

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Safest Haven
    193
    Wow, that's very good. It rhymed very well. Good job. Keep it up.
     
  4. Juicy Chaser

    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    325
    Even though it was meant to be a dark poem, it felt quite lighthearted to me, not sure if you were aiming for that xD
    It was easy to read because it rhymed ~

    I know usually repitition is a plus, but you used "I can wait" so much it kind of got annoying towards the end D:

    However, it was a good poem <3