I always get myself into weird situations. :l

Okay so.

I do not have an excellent history with boys. At all. There is very little to speak of, I find the concept of dating in high school to be a bit idiotic. But that's beside the point; I was kind of creeped upon last summer and asked out via Facebook byone kid, which I said no to because I didn't know him at all.

Now recently, this other guy, we'll call him John, came up to me in the halls. He said something along the lines of "I know I'm going to come off as creepy here but I see you around a lot and I wanted to say hi to you." I did find it a bit creepy, but I said hi back, and that was it. He added me on Facebook and I accepted, and we started Facebook chatting.

John brought up how he had seen me about a lot, and heard about me through a mutual friend, and wanted to say hi. He seemed nice, and we talked for a while. After a while he began saying that he found me pretty, wanted to hang out, etc etc. I was a bit frazzled by this.

Yes I was happy to be making friends, but I didn't want to let him think I wanted to have any sort of romantic involvement with him. Quite frankly, I don't think I'm ready to do anything like that, I have a hard enough time being just friends with people. I kind of have trust issues, I'm very very reluctant to open up to people at all, even people I've known for several years. It has to do with my parents' divorce, but that's not what this thread is about. Just relevant information. I know you can't have a relationship if someone isn't willing to open up.

I mentioned that I was excited for Tron, he asked if kids our age go to movies still, I said I go with my sisters usually, and kind of said that he could tag along if he wanted. He said it'd be nice. I figured he wouldn't think much of it as my sister would be there.

My mom is a little possessive when it comes to my sisters and I, she likes to know where we are, who we're with, etc at all times. I really don't mind because I know it's out of wanting to keep me safe, but I knew she wouldn't be chuffed with me running about with boys, so I thought I'd mention it to her. First though I brought it up to my sisters.

One of them just kind of shrugged it off, the other said that she recognized John (I had Facebook open and showed her a picture & then she remembered her name). She said she'd heard a lot of things about him, like that he apparently shaved off his eyebrows and had creeped on people she's known in a similar manner to what he's been doing to me. She said I should probably steer clear of him.

So I'm kind of stuck here. I don't know what to do; on one hand, I think maybe that it's all just rumors, that he gets misjudged a lot. Another part of me wants to heed my sister's warning (and I do trust her judgment a lot) and just stay away. I thought I'd ask for some advice; am I being paranoid or should I just go for it?

sorry for the essay post. D:

 

I would cancel on the cinema trip (At least with him. Make up some excuse) and get to know a bit more about him. What you're sister says may be true. Best to take it slow. I wouldn't just stop talking with him but you should be careful if there are rumours about him. More than often there is some truth in them.

 

Make your own judgement of him. If you've found that he's been nice enough while chatting to him, then he deserves a chance. Don't sever all ties with him just because your sister has heard bad things about him. It doesn't seem fair on him, and you're potentially losing a friend if you act upon public opinion.

Discarding your sister's warning is also a no-no. You should keep it in mind, and decide whether his behaviour is getting unacceptable. Knowing that he is potentially unstable means you can skip the second-guessing yourself step if he starts acting weird, and just cut off contact.

So make your own decisions, and take your sister's warning for what it is: a warning.

 

I don't quite know, I'm a guy myself so I may not be the best to turn to but if you really trust your sister you should listen to her, I probably would considering I regard my family very highly. However, these could just be rumors or some other reason. Watch what he does if you do let him go. I hope this helped in some way.

 

I don't think it can hurt to see a movie with the guy. If he turns out like your sister said you don't have to keep hanging out with him.
Else, you just made a new friend!

 

Well you already said yourself that you're slow to open up to people. And if I'm reading correctly he's weird but friendly and hinting at dating, your being friendly mostly to be polite but am willing to see how it gos. I don't want to call the warning entirely irrelevant but seeing how you are generally cautious in relationships anyway, and he didn't make the best of first impressions to boot, you were probably going at a good pace prior to her saying anything.

Like P said, keep the warning in mind. If he starts acting funny it might not just be you blowing stuff out of proportion. However don't dwell on it. If you think he's messed up to begin with because your sister says so, you will find something odd. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

In short, keep testing the waters to see where it leads (be that dating, friendship, or nothing at all) but keep the warning about him in the back of your head for a little while.

 

Thanks for all your advice everyone. :] I spoke to him and said I was happy to get to know him and be friends and what not, but he brought up dating and I just told him I wasn't ready for any sort of relationship. He said alright, we talked a little longer, and I haven't heard from him since. I'm assuming that'll be the end of all of that.

So, closed.