HUGE Problem

Okay, so my mom got back from jail, but we have a major problem. My mom and ad have been splitting up bit by bit everyday. There was one breaking point that destroyed it all. My mom invited a girl named Daniel over. She was a good friend of my moms. My mom is an alcoholic and with a glass of wine in her hand, she said she wasn't drinking. She's been spending grocery money on wine and liquor. She invited Daniel over for some reason I don't know (it wasn't for having a nice dinner) but she passed out from al the wine. After a few hours my dad and Daniel were having an affair across from my room (thankfully I couldn't see them). This escalated when my mom woke up and she punched Daniel and ent her out of the house. The next day, my mom and dad went to get food and he was drunk. He is also an alcoholic. They have both been spending VALUABLE MONEY THAT WE DON'T HAVE FOR ALCOHOL. My mom broke a mirror off of my dad's car and my dad got physical with her. She was thrown to the ground and flung into my dog who is now in the pet hospital. My mom and I were about to leave when suddenly the cops who were called by my mother came over. My mom stayed the night at jail after that for breaking my dad's property (a phone, a vase, and a painting). We don't have alot of money, so we can't put payments on the house. My parents are spending money we need or alcohol. We want to move from California from Florida, but my dad might be leaving in January because he's fed up with my mom.

So...

What should I do and where should I go?
What should my mom do?
What should my dad do?
How can I convince my dad to stay?
How can I survive the financial troubles?

 

Your mom needs to try and get over her alcoholism. If there is someone else you can go live with, like another relative, or friends or something, then I would. Honestly, about your dad, I would just let him go. If he had an affair with your mom's friend, while you were in the house, then he isn't worth it. Sorry if that's a little harsh. About the financial troubles, maybe ask friends or relatives for money, if you can promise to pay them back. Other then that, maybe get a job? I hope this helps. Sorry your life went to wrong.

 

Getting over alcohol isn't as easy as it sounds. It's an addiction and it's hard. Not many people can succesfully do it without effort and determination.

But I do agree that you do need to find somebody else to live with. Grandparents, aunt and uncle. Pretty much anybody who could help raise you, because that will definitely give your parents a reality check. Both sides are wrong in this case, because your dad's having affairs, your mom's commiting crimes, and both are acoholics. And you probably love them because they ae your parents and you of course, want them to get over all this. Really, talk to your guidance consuler for help because they have seen many cases similar do these and really know what to do. For the time being, move in with somebody else and talk to a teacher or guidance consuler on what to do, because this is you're parents fault. Ok, I lost my train of thought, but I think you get the idea. Good luck with all this. It's really unfair to you that you have to suffer through all this because you're parents are using poor judgement.

 

Hmmm, very sticky. I'd suggest a good friend maybe? Someone to stay with more during the day and such? Like a really close friend, or a relative?

That type of thing would take serious psychiatric rehabilitation, so anything you do might cause more trouble than needed.

 

This is a hairy situation and I'd say that both your mom and dad are being very foolish and they have lost communication with one another. They are both drinking, acting out passive aggressive tendencies to get back at each other and are just being downright stubborn. Your mom drinking and ruining his things is an act for attention and passive aggressive violence. Your dad drinking and cheating on your mom is also the same.

What can you do? It's a very rough situation and at this point I'd probably say that it may be time to consider finding a relative to stay with that is not acting childish while these two deal with their war. If things don't get better, neither of them are suitable to watch over you, whether they split up or not.

What should your mom do? Tell her that she needs to stop drinking and pay attention to the life around her. She and your dad are both doing self-destructive behavior. She's ruining, as well as he is, all they've worked for by simply not talking things out and being a husband and wife. Maybe if you tell her that you really at this time can't back either of them because they are ruining their own lives and not talking, it might get through to them. She needs to put the bottle down and confront this situation head on and either try to work things out or let your dad go to get some space.

What should your dad do? Face reality and grow up. Again, the drinking is a foolish way where he can get out of facing reality and he is using it as an excuse to do stupid things. He needs to tell her to stop drinking and he himself can't resort to the same behavior, let alone the worse behavior of cheating on her. He's got to talk to her. They both should want to sit down and communicate and find a way to do so where they aren't anywhere near alcohol and can't do anything physical. Counseling would be a good idea if they would and if neither is willing to do so, at least sitting down in the living room is something. It may take some time to get everything resolved but they need to be told they are losing each other and everything they worked for. Is that really what they want?

I do hope things get better for you. Both of your parents seem to be acting very childish so I am not sure they will. You may have to try to stand up and be the voice of reason with them but if that doesn't work, your dad may very well leave because he and your mom are being stubborn and avoiding the truest issue that they need to communicate and stop harming one another and themselves. Maybe if you can talk to each of them and say that all you want them to do is stop the drinking and just talk soberly, talk about what's actually eating at both of them, they will with some encouragement. It's hard to say, with how childish both are acting that anything good is going to come out of this in the immediate, but it is possible. Alcohol for both of them is a crutch and an escape and that is the biggest thing that needs to stop. They are using drinking for the wrong reasons. It's never a good thing to do in order to cope with depression and anger. It just makes people more stupid in that case.

Hopefully they will talk things out and work together and with you. If not, it may be time for you to get out of there for a while so they can think. If they refuse to talk, that would probably be your best option. With how destructive both are being now, watch yourself and have a door open to somewhere else to go if you can. Words in the end might not be enough. Hang in there.

 

Okay, first I don't think your parents will be together for much longer. I'm sorry to say so.. but your parents need help.

Your parents should either go to rehab, to stop drinking and take parents classes. And if your worried about your financial troubles can you get like a part time job? Or sell things? As for your living situation you should live with a relative. But I'm more worried about your parents. There acting foolish over the dumbest reasons, and it's gonna take some time before they can actually stop there drinking problems.

 

Thanks for all of your help guys! My dad is not leaving just yet, but there is still tension in the air between mom and dad. He'll stay until May, when my mom get's her medical degree and she'll get alot of money. For now, I'm on my laptop at Grandma's house, but I'm going back in a few days.

Can be locked now

 

Alright, locking. Good luck!