His Dream Probably one of the best poems I’ve written in my opinion. What do you think? I’m gonna be there when the sun rises I’m gonna be there when the rain falls I’m gonna be there when the son rises I’m gonna be there when the reign falls And I have hope And I have faith And I have love And I am brave And I know his Dream will save us all He dreamt of a world without slavery He dreamt of a world without pain He dreamt that you would hear his prayer And think of what we would gain And he has hope And he has faith And he has love And he is brave And I know his dream will save us all I’m gonna follow him I’m gonna change the world But how can I do that When I’m just a simple girl? Well I’m out of hope I’m out of faith I’m out of love And I’m not brave But somehow, some way His dream will save us all one day
Oh wow. you've definitely improved. not the best poem I've seen on this forum, but definitely the best you've done.
Shows a few too many traits of prose in my opinion. The rhythm when reading it is slightly messed up by this. The rhyming scheme was existent but flawed, seeing as it wasn't really consistent over the corresponding sections, neither was the format really. These things aren't really wrong, seeing as common types of poetry tend to be the most flexible and forgiving styles of writing in existence. I wouldn't really call it exceptional in any aspect, so I'll hand it to you, you're not bad.
It is a little too constant in the use of the same type of words over and over. Alos, I see this as more of a song than an actual poem, since the ways are more of the song genre. And apart from the the spelling mistakes made it seems good.
