I have two friend issues, the first one started about a year ago but I wasn't really aware of it until about April this year (which I constantly beat myself up about). The second started March this year and is still going on, and making me feel as if I need to break friends with this person. Issue 1: My best friend, who is in university in London, is in a relationship with a guy who just keeps hurting her. She told me about how he messes her around and asked if she should break up with him when they first got together, since I didn't know him, I said that she should just do what feels right for her. She went back to him, and a few weeks later she asked me if she should leave him again, I told her (again) to do what she felt was right but if he keeps messing her around, she should at least take a break from him. She went back to him to give him a second chance. I met him this April, and he was just really rude to me. He even got jealous of my friend talking to me and told her that he would break up with her if she didn't send me home. She refused, telling him that I couldn't go home due to not being able to get back. Later, he saw me taking two pills for my epilepsy and told my friend that I was a druggie and a ******. Basically, he was just really rude to both of us and I could see how much he messed someone I truly care about around, making her cry and then telling her to hide it. Right now, she doesn't think anything's wrong with him, but I know how he messes her around. He's cheated on her about twice and I'm worried for her and for our friendship. Maybe I'm overreacting, I don't know. Issue 2: Another friend who we'll call Sigyn (due to her extreme love of Loki), basically read some fanfiction I wrote that involved a bisexual character and assumed that I was bi because I could write for this character. I just told her that I'm straight and left it at that. Well, until she started calling me a tease amongst other things and putting me down about everything. She even told the guy I like and some of my friends some rumours that she made up about me. She keeps calling me names as well as asking me if I'm dating/sleeping with one of my best friends who I see as my brother. I don't really wanna cut her off completely, but I do want her to stop.
Issue One: You really need to speak to your friend about her boyfriend. I've been through that crap before and it's incredibly degrading. He doesn't sound like that great of a guy so you need to speak to your friend in private and away from him. You are not overreacting and I think your friend deserve much better than the person she is currently with. By the sounds of it, she's been with this person for more than just a few months, so she has the mentality that he's perfectly fine, and for all you know, she might think she's the one at fault for everything. I've had that same mentality and I still tend to every now and then when I'm extremely depressed. It sucks, and it only depresses me further. You need to speak to her before something ends up happening between you two and you can no longer help her. Issue Two: I think all I can really tell you for this issue is to just talk with her and tell her the things she's saying is upsetting you. That's all you can really do at the moment. If she stops, then good. She understood and you can move on. If she just keeps it up, then you need to reconsider the friendship. She doesn't sound like she's very accepting towards people that are bisexual, but it's best to not just make an assumption. Just have a talk with her and hopefully she stops.
It's hard to get hold of her without him being around, he looks at her Twitter/Facebook messages constantly. I can't be sure about calling/texting her either. The best I can do is wait until she's here alone and then talk to her. About issue 2, she's bisexual herself which just makes it all the more weird in a way. I don't want to just end up saying to her "You're SERIOUSLY freaking me out." But yeah, I've tried to talk to her, but it always starts up again soon >_>
Issue I: It doesn't sound like this girl is in a very healthy relationship, and if she's coming to you for help, and you've seen the way he treats her, and then how he treats you, you should definitely persuade her to get away from him. He doesn't sound like a good guy at all. You let her stay with him any longer than she has, and she's going to feel like she doesn't need to get away from him anymore, maybe even forming some sort of very mild case of Stockholm Syndrome. Issue II: She honestly doesn't sound like a good friend. I can write great straight characters, but that doesn't mean I'm straight. Just because you can write a character who doesn't fall into your line of sexual orientation, it doesn't mean that you fall into the character's. You should tell her that, and explain to her that it's not very nice, because it isn't, and you don't deserve that. If she keeps teasing you after you explain things, and it gets worse, then I honestly don't think you two should even be friends anymore, because that doesn't sound like something a good friend would do.
1: I have tried telling her (over FB) that I didn't think it was good for her to be in this relationship, and next thing I knew, he was cussing me out over Twitter and text saying that I was just jealous that I didn't have anything as perfect as them. 2: I am seriously thinking of cutting all contact with her, it's just too much stress that I don't need.
