Hey KHV, I've been around here before (and I've gotten some good advice the last few times!), this time I need some help with depression. I've had depression for the longest time, my parents have noticed it in me even when I was a little kid. These past two weeks will probably be without a doubt some of the toughest weeks in my life, and I don't wanna sound whiny by saying why: Spoiler: backstory First of all, in two days I would've been when I go to MTAC (Middle Tennessee Anime Convention), it's a big annual thing for me, it's a minor part of my depression that I didn't get to go. It's really not that important. This is why we can't go... In the evening of March 24th, my mother had to be taken to the ER with severe abdominal pain and a very high fever, I believe the highest it got was somewhere around 103F. She was diagnosed with Diverticulitis (an intestinal disease that has no cure that I know of), and had to stay in the hospital for 6 days. She was released on the Friday of the same week with an IV in her arm that goes to her heart. She has to have this until April 7, the saturday I'd be going to MTAC. Then on April Fools Day, my great grandmother passes away from complications of Alzheimer's disease. I mean that's upsetting enough, but the really upsetting part comes into play right here: No one believed me, I didn't even believe it at first (then I realized it's really cruel to joke about death). So the following day I was, well, bullied all day for 'joking about death'. Then on Tuesday I go to the visitation part of her funeral and see her for the first time in a very long time. Then it really kicks in to me that she's dead. You know there's that little part when someone close to you dies where you feel like they're still around, just hanging around somewhere else. That was the time I realized she really was gone, and it hit hard. So, what else can go wrong, right? Sorry for that tl;dr backstory. But is there any ways to cope with depression other than pills and therapy? I already have some friends who are helping me through it, and I really, really appreciate their patience with me. Thank you for any advice/prayers/thoughts, however you help, it means a lot to me. :)
I know this is probably a really common question, but do you have anyone you feel comfortable sharing these things with? I mean no disrespect by this, but your direct family (mom, dad, etc.) probably isn't the best thing right now since they're going through the same thing you are. How bad is your depression? I hope that you're not thinking of committing suicide or anything, as that would be terrible.
Well, in all honesty, there's one person I'd feel comfortable telling these things to (and he already knows, and has been very patient with me, which I really thank him so much for). No disrespect was taken, I see what you mean't by that. Suicide doesn't get me anywhere, just means I've given up. I'm not a quitter. As for how bad my depression is, it's as bad to be with me from a very young age, if that helps any.
Well, first of all, I am very happy to hear you say that you're not considering suicide. That alone says that you are coping and trying to fight this; because you've been dealing with this since you were young, you likely already have developed (hopefully) healthy means of dealing, and that's amazing. You're a strong person for it. As for specific ways to deal, I know from friends & just general reading & such that having something you're dedicated to can help a lot. Something that relaxes you, takes your mind off things, makes you feel like you're achieving something, etc. It gives you something to look forward to and, at times, a bit of an escape. Start an exercise routine, experiment with new recipes, meet new people, write poetry, whatever comes to mind, try it. Exercise you should especially consider, not only is it always good to be active, but from my understanding, the whole "runner's high" thing is not a myth--exercise naturally releases the happy chemicals in your brain. A healthier lifestyle and losing weight/getting fit are just fringe benefits. Talking to someone will always, always help too. Keeping things bottled up inside you just never works, and having someone to vent to/lean on can work wonders. I would caution against focusing that on just one person, of course, because when that person is away or something, it can be hard to cope. Develop a support system of trusted friends. And if you ever need to talk, me and I'm sure many other members here would be happy to listen.
Misty said what I was going to say; find something time consuming. For me, it's music. If I sing or play guitar or just listen to it, it can take my mind off of everything. As Misty mentioned, exercise is a good way, especially considering the "runner's high." Anyway, speak to someone, going to a professional may be a good idea. I've been seeing a counselor now for half a year, and it has definitely helped me in my depression/anxiety thingamajig. It's easier said than done to "fix" depression. But one step at the time, that is all. And if you need to talk, you know where to reach me :)
I'd like to hope it's healthy, thank you for your kind words. :) Therapists I've been to have told me one of the classic symptoms of depression is loss of interest in many things, and it being almost impossible to get interested in something. I've definitely had this, especially with things like TV and video games. One of the main differences in when I was younger with supposed depression and me now with depression is that when I was younger I could sit at the TV for hours and just watch TV shows or play video games. Now when I sit in front of the TV, I constantly look at the clock, pretty much thinking 'When is this gonna be over?' the entire time. With video games, I usually can't last more than 5 minutes on one game. Things like that. It's extremely frustrating. Along with my depression, I'm also extremely shy (as many people see on this forum and especially on Skype in calls) and I have extreme paranoia and trust issues. I usually wonder how I could trust one person so much. I can't make friends very easily and once I do, I usually get wayyyyy too suspicious and end up ruining the friendship. It's also happened with serious relationships as well. Also extremely frustrating, but I don't need help on that, just putting it out there that I also have a difficulty with these things. Thank you Petter, it means a lot :) Pretty much what I said with Misty's reply, loss of interest is a b*tch. It's extremely difficult to gain interest in something right now, and it's also extremely frustrating. I also don't know about running, but I guess I could try that with swimming. Knee issues right now (No one better make a goddamn arrow to the knee joke), so running wouldn't be a smart idea. And yes, I've tried seeking professional help, but I just really do not like therapists. They usually get a bit too personal for my liking. I know I sound bratty saying that, but most of the therapists I went to were asking me stuff that I just really didn't feel comfortable sharing with them. I really, really do not want to go to a therapist. I'll talk to you later then, thank you. :) But I will say I am kind of liking and getting into My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. That's a start, right? . w .
It may help, then, to do something with someone, e.g. find a friend who goes running every morning. Keeping that appointment with them and not letting them down will, hopefully, motivate you to show up even when you haven't much interest in doing it. You mentioned you're getting into MLP, find someone else who enjoys it and watch episodes with them. As for getting to know people/being shy, I can speak more from experience there. I don't have any solve-all tips, but even if it terrifies you to do so, keep people close. It doesn't matter if you're not divulging your every issue and secret with them, just having the most basic of friends that you can have idle conversation with can sometimes be enough. Over time, as you and those people grow closer together, it will get easier to go to them. You'll begin to trust them more, hopefully. I won't say that you'll ever be fully comfortable speaking to them or having them be intimate with you, but sometimes you've just got to take a leap of faith. And sometimes you meet people that you just immediately feel comfortable around. It's difficult and there's really no guaranteed solution, but just try to keep talking to people, even if it scares you. Don't go too far out of your comfort zone, but still, sometimes you have to push yourself and take that risk.
