hello sadness

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Plums, Oct 5, 2011.

  1. Plums Wakanda Forever

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    [it's been a while friend

    Anyway, not to beat around the bush, I'm not...exactly in the right mind frame right now. School isn't too stressful, but it's trying to balance the mandatory senior things I need to do with my own life. >_>

    I've more or less been shirking off my friends because I either am too busy, or I do not feel like it because I am incredibly fatigued and moody. Which in part is because I found out last week from my doctor I have iron deficiency anemia. Basically, unless I start getting a regular flow of iron in my body, I am going to be extremely tired, prone to fits of mood swings in rapid succession, and there's some other things but those are a bit more down the line in effects.

    As such, all of my waking efforts are being channeled into schoolwork and KHV. I have no spare energy to do things with friends, and it's really...sad. Graduation is coming up, and this year will go by fast, and I really want to spend time with them so much. I'm taking iron supplements now, but...I feel as though I'm not getting better fast enough, and I will have wasted time I could have been spending with the not eating iron/drinking water like a stupid boy.


    On top of this, what plums help with life thread would this be without girl problems

    Basically, I like a girl I've known for a while (online), I've heard some things about her (basically that she is a huge flirt with anything that is male), I'm not taking complete stock in them but...if they are true, is it even worth it? Just trying to think about it myself...hurts.

    Also my parents have started arguing again. Always absolutely fun stuff. I never say anything to them about it because me and confronting people never really work out. It seems impossible for me, and to be blunt, I end up getting the **** end of the stick because I don't do it. But I don't know why that is or how I overcome it, and I really need to knock some sense into both them and various other people right now.

    To go further into my problems, I am finding out one of my major flaws besides fear of confrontation is my inability to be decisive. To make it worse, this has been a motif in nightmares I've been having the past few weeks, which makes me feel even more hesitant to make the decisions I need to make right now.


    I am also growing more and more hesitant of opening up to people, even if I have known them for a while now. Which is what's been happening with me on MSN lately. Replying slow, letting the convo die, etc. I fear opening up to people because I fear they will break trust I have instilled in them, and I am overall paranoid of how others perceive me at the moment, which was something I had believed I got over.


    As you can see, I am currently a bushel of plummy problems right now, and need advice/reconciliation/shoulder to cry on/happy things so that I can actually have fun and be happy.]

    tl;dr version: Let's just say my absence from Voxli and invisibility lately have had a reason.
     
  2. Amaury Chaser

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    I can certainly fathom why you're under a lot of stress.

    Regarding not opening up, have you tried talking about it with someone you're already good friends with? I'm sure if you tried, they would be more than willing to help.

    A lot of people experience this either in one big lump or from time to time.
    Personally, I've never experienced it, but I know some friends who have and fathom the feeling.

    Anyway, yeah, just try talking to a good friend you really trust, and I'm sure they would be more than happy to listen.
     
  3. Jayn

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    Eat some bananas and drink some water. I hate water and eating, so that's part of the reason why, for me. But look at this list of foods with high iron supply, (google has more for you) keep taking your supplements, drink water everyday--three cups or more. ...Not little cups. Make a schedule, do some exercise and do your best to fight it. I have an iron deficiency, and Fuzzy is anemic.

    The more you tell yourself, 'i r sck :cc needz betta' the worse you'll feel. Despite the side effects, your body is still your body and your brain is still your brain. So make a schedule of things you can do to help your body out (when you drink said water, when you eat said iron foods), while taking your medicine. Trick your brain into thinking you're just tired and hungry, not sickly or anything, and keep fighting it as best as possible.

    Don't make excuses for yourself. Make plans with your friends and go hang out. Even if you pass out from exhaustion later, or while your with them, you can't say you didn't hang out and it's still better than going this whole year all /slit /ronery. Even if you bring your homework to a friend's house and do it there because you have no time to do one or the other, then at least you're with your friend.



    I've been interested in [ ||||||||||| ] people on KHV romantically. I'd had long lasting genuine romantic relationships with [ | | ] that many. Being romantically impulsive or in touch with my emotions does not make me a ****. Same goes for this girl. Being a flirt does not impair her ability to feel and give genuine love. Sometimes being flirty is sometimes in a person's personality. For example, (insert certain comic book nerd here) flirts with everyone all of the time. But has a genuine, loving relationship with someone. He's just a flirt. Doesn't make him a bad person. Let her know how you feel. It's better to know than to wonder.

    What happens when you try to confront someone? Do you freeze up, or do you just dismiss it as not important enough, etc?

    KICK IT'S ASS. Example: I don't cry in staff conversations anymore even if ___ and ___ are there. :'DD I'm still shy as hell and don't reach out as much, but it's progress. I let MSN convos die, VM convos die. I have nightmares of people on KHV hurting my feelings and I cry 4eva over them. These are issues we both have, somewhat. What is takes is pushing through and doing it anyways. Fear is always there, because there's always a chance of someone going major ***** out of no where and betraying you. But is it worth just sitting back and pushing everyone else away for? I mean. You could make some of the best, most loyal friends if you push through and open up. Is it worth missing out on the one-in-a-lifetimes in fear of the ******bag-passer-bys that won't mean **** to you in a couple of years?

    The answer is NO Plums. People love you and want to be close to you. They're the ones who want to be there foreverrrr. You shouldn't push them away, and it's a matter of restraint and training. It won't happen over the night, but you should definitely try. Reply on MSN even if it's an hour since you last, if you notice you've let it die. Send random Vms out to people more often,even if you stop replying after a day or something, just to let 'em know you care. Take baby steps at stopping this habit, and you'll succeed.
     
  4. Sumi suicidé

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    As for your health issues, I suggest taking a peek at this website. It's outwardly for weight loss and calorie counting, but I've found it's really great for keeping track of how much of certain vitamins and minerals you're taking in every day. It measures the amounts of substances in your food for you which is really helpful. On top of your medicine I'd try taking daily vitamins if you aren't. It can be very stressful to pay so much attention to your intakes, I know, but it's worth a try at least.

    It can be really hard to make time for friends, or to convince yourself to hang out every now and then. Try committing one hour a week to either stress-free hanging out or to working on homework/a project with a friend. Even if you feel like you're not well, you might find that you're energized by this. Do your friends know about your condition? If not, let them know. They can surely help.

    I'ven't much advice for you as far as girl problems other than to ask her if she'd be willing to take part in a sober relationship for a while, at least to try. It's tough to like people who are open to others (especially if you're super possessive like I am oops) but it might open both of your worlds to understand each other better.

    With the parents fighting... I kind of know exactly how you feel. I always shut myself up in my room until it's ~relatively~ blown over. My best advice is to plan something or to talk to your parents while they're not fighting.

    Decisiveness has always been an issue with me as well, and I think the best way to "get over" it is to start trusting your gut and being slightly more impulsive. Try meditating ten minutes a day if you can.

    I know it's not much, but I'm pretty much always around if you want to talk. I check KHV several times a day, and I usually have my MSN pulled up on my phone. I swear, no matter what you say you'll never get rid of my adoringness of you. <3 And most people feel that way, I think. We love you. Don't be so afraid to get out and kick bootay! c;
     
  5. Plums Wakanda Forever

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    yay foods with iron [noparse]:D[/noparse]

    I'll try to tell my body it is still my bitch, and therefore it must obey me. But with my friends though, I can't really hang out with them too much because my transportation relies solely upon my mother's schedule (which is usually hard to maneuver around). Not to mention I've never really gone to one of my friends' houses since I was in like...fifth grade, lol. (My parents don't really talk with the parents of my friends).

    I guess that's really my fault, because for some unexplained reason, I don't like school crossing over with home. Just every little tiny interaction sends my nerves into "crazay plumbs" mode. Which I guess is how different I act between the two?




    I think I'll do this when I see her next. Which could be a week or two. ;;

    But I'm afraid of the possibility she may just simply pass me on for the next person she feels even slightly attracted to if we get together. Which I consciously doubt, but somewhere in the back of my head it's worrying to me.

    BUT that is me being ridiculous, and I don't believe she would do that. back of mind y u no believe.





    I tell myself I will do it and then end u being all "LOL THIS DOESN'T HURT ME ANYMORE I'M COOL" and backing out of it only to have it resurface again later on. >_>




    I'll try to do this. It's just haaaaaaaard trying to start convos with people, because you don't know what to say or what they have to say in response to that nonsense. I don't know why I've started to regress like this when I was able to do it last year and stuff, but I guess I'll have to get in the habit of it again. ;n;

    Thank you mommeh <3


    Bookmared <3

    I'll start writing it down for extra measures. Put it near my alarm clock so 'll see it every morning. xD

    I haven't really told them yet. I am not sure why. ._.

    I'll try this too, but what if I kill their momentum when I poop out? Then again, they are pretty insane, so it should work out. xD

    Sober relationship? o:

    I've never talked to them before about it, and starting it for the first time is...intimidating. I know it's in my place to, though, and I am one of the people better suited to tell them to stfu and have makeup secks (of course now that image will scar me for the rest of forever).

    Will try this too. c:

    awww peprika sister <3

    I'll try not to push you guys off the cliff any further than I have. I'll try to start reeling all y'all back in more. Thank you. c;
     
  6. Kayate King's Apprentice

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    My older sister has the iron deficiency thing. She has to take pills\vitamin things every day, and she's fine.

    I'm in a similar problem at home with the confrontation thing - I just can't seem to deal with it at all, and, I too seem to get bitten back because of it.

    Girl problems... I can't help at all there...Sorry, I'm not too hot in the girl department...Heheh...
    Decisiveness - I've never been very decisive, and that's been a problem in my life as well. I'm not sure how I always seem to deal with it, but I get through it - With emotions scarred or not.

    And finally opening up to others...
    Yeah, I'm not too good at that either. Having others know of my insecurities and such don't seem too good to me. I'm not sure why - Psychological thing, I suppose.

    I apologize that I'm not too much of a source for help... but if you need to talk, I know we don't talk too awful much, but I'm free anytime.
     
  7. Misty gimme kiss

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    I know this is just a fraction of what you've mentioned, I will hopefully respond to the rest later, but:
    I know it's really tempting to not open up to anyone, and just bottle everything up, but it is absolutely not the right thing to do--especially when you are going through the things you've described. If you keep a pot covered, eventually it's all going to spill over. It's unavoidable. And it's usually not pretty. Sometimes you've just got to swallow your paranoia and do it. The relief of just saying things to someone is... overwhelmingly freeing. It helps more than you might think at the time.

    Not to say you shouldn't be careful about who you do it to. But the people you've known for a while, and who reassure you that you're there for them... do you really believe they'd play the part of a friend just to mess with you in the end?
    edit: unintentional rhyming
     
  8. Chevalier Crystal Princess

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    It's a gamble. I think you may want to take your chances if the girl decides to go serious with you. I mean, as Jayn said. Acting like a flirt does not make you a cheap and easy person.

    This is really something you need to talk to them about privately. I mean, it's obviously affecting you. And while it is hard, it's probably better if you rehearse it, and then go and talk to them one-by-one privately. I'm sure they'll understand or try to talk if you're reasonable.

    Being decisive is not something innate most of the time. Those who speak up are probably the ones who have the most trouble doing so, yet decide to take a stance. It doesn't happen overnight, but you need to push yourself slowly in a steady pace until you're comfortable.


    Sorry to sort of skim over things, but others have sort of replied what needs to be replied.
     
  9. Luna Lovegood nani panda-kun

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    Jayn said it: Don't make excuses for yourself. Make an effort to spend some time with friends. It doesn't have to be something strenuous; go to the movies or, heck, chill at the park or something. Even if you don't really think you feel like doing it, you'll be glad that you did.

    Try pulling one or both of your parents aside and calmly have a discussion about it. Just.... try, at least. One might actually be easier; whichever parent you're most comfortable talking to. Let them know that the effects of their arguing aren't isolated to them. I think often times parents don't realize how much things like that hurt their kids as well.

    I tend to be fairly indecisive as well. Debilitatingly indecisive sometimes. It's hard to really give a comment unless I know the context of your lack of decisiveness. :<

    Misty said it this time: It's not always easy to open up to people, but it can get much worse if you leave things bottled up. It's also how friendships dwindle. As for MSN and VM convos dying, it happens. But if you feel it's becoming a problem, just... say something, doesn't matter how long ago it was that the last message was sent. It doesn't have to be anything profound. Say something about your day. "I saw a chick wearing a Pizza John shirt today" or something. Little things like that, you may be surprised, can spark wonderful conversations. c:

    Also, the rainbow coordination of your post distracted me. Don't stop doing it. X3
     
  10. smeen Destiny Islands Resident

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    Next to eating food with a lot of iron, leave he milk-based products alone. They will destroy any chance of you getting some iron in your blood.

    The only way to find out if everything about the girl is true is to try it. But it's up to you to decide if you want to or not.


    Ignore your parents and focus on your own life. There are moments where you need to put yourself first and others second, especially when they will not listen to what you think and feel.

    The other two colours -distracted- I will conclude with: Think about yourself. What you want, what you don't want. You won't come anywhere if you keep standing in the same spot. I know, I've been there.
     
  11. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

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    I'm sorry to hear this, but patience is key here- nothing happens immediately and I know your friends will understand, but I don't think that is what you are worried about. The best solution is to maybe do work with your friends- just meet up with them or just wait until the supplements start working, also do eat lots of iron ^^ (I know chocolate has iron in it xD)

    I know exactly how you feel ;-; Although, I know that flirting for a girl is usually just something harmless. It's possible that she is insecure about herself and so flirts to get male attention just to make her feel better (in all honesty, I know I do this) but what she really wants is one guy to care for her. It's possible, may not be true but normally flirting isn't anything too meaningful to a girl.

    Use a frying pan to knock some sense into them xD I would just suggest starting small and building up- like don't go head on confronting everything, maybe just something more minor like maybe in an argument (I have problems standing up to people- but I'm getting better) and hopefully, with practise you will feel more confident donig so.

    When I can't make a decision I just leave it up to fate in the toss of a coin or something xD I'm not great at making decisions either but you could do the same as the thing for confrontations. Relax, you are normal- you aren't alone. I would just take it easy and go one step at a time. Also, it's a good idea to sometimes lists pros and cons, it may help.

    I'm assuming someone has let you down by breaking your trust in the past? This is a normal reaction then, to be fair some people jsut can't be trusted and it may be hard to tell who can be however, it shouldn't stop you from opening up- otherwise these emotions will burst out at some point hurting you emotionally. You need to restore that trust and to do that you just have to try again with someone you believe is trustworthy and hopefully build up on that, like before.

    Oh Plums, *hugs* I really hope you'll feel better soon.