hate for the island

I was avoiding posting here but then I remembered I am horrible at solving things myself so :v

It's nothing terribly serious, just a crush on my best friend. I am p. sure admitting my feelings will do nothing to impair our friendship, as a similar bump in the road occurred three years ago. However, I do, for some reason, have a problem talking about it with her face to face.

For the past year, I haven't been terribly attracted to people offline, and had been focusing primarily more on an online friend (which then worked and then we split on friendly terms about a month ago). But now that there's actually someone I'm attracted to in real life, I'm nervous about actually vocalizing my feelings?

It's far easier for me to say how I'm feeling over a text based format, but I feel this is more of a matter that my friend and I should discuss face to face and not over an online client. Every time I get close to bringing the subject up, I just get this panic-y feeling of "ALEX YOU WILL SOUND DUMB THIS WILL GO SO MUCH MOE HORRIBLE DO IT LATER". And that has been going on for about a week, and it's getting tiring. :L

I don't know, while I want to have a face to face (or at least, voice to voice) conversation about it, should I just settle for an IM based system or try and suck it up and speak face to face (and likely cower out of it again).

halp

 

First and foremost, let me say that you should do it as soon as possible before it's too late. I learned that the hard way. You'd be surprised how things can change just in just a matter of days. I seriously can't emphasize it enough.
Secondly, yes, you should do it face to face. It's much more meaningful when you tell someone you like them when you're really there with them, instead of "hey wanna be my gf? kthx lol" (No offense to someone who has already done it >_>). If you really can't do it face to face, then I'd tell you to resort to voice chat at the very least. But only really use it as a last resort. And hey, worst that can happen is she says "No". I know that rejection is a frightening thing, but once you get down to it nothing really will change. If you're both mature enough, you should be able to set it aside for your friendship. Yes, you will sound dumb when you ask her out. Everyone does, it's no secret.
And well, if it does work out, wouldn't that be great?

Do it Plums. Any lady would be lucky to have ya :v

 

I agree with Sogeking, if you plan to confess, tell her your feelings face to face. That way, your feelings will come across more clearly. Confessing thorough text or by any other electronic means may be easier but it's impersonal and this is a matter which requires a more intimate means of communication.

This may sound silly but, practice your confession in front of a mirror, it'll help you become more comfortable with saying whatever it is you plan to say. It may even be embarrassing, but it will help you get used to those nervous feelings.

 

Dude. Do it.

Do it.



DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU WILL HAVE WHATEVER YOUR HEART TRULY DESIRES.

Seriously though, just take a little time to compose yourself, prepare something short and simple to say to her ("Lately I've just been so taken with you/You're cute and charming and I think we should spend more time together/I WANNA MAKE LOVE TO YA WOMAAAAN/etc."), and find a time that isn't noticeably awkward, then let it rip. You will be paralyzed with fear if you don't just push past yourself and say it. Even if something goes awry, I promise you, in this case you'll rather you'd said something stupid than never said anything. And if you don't show the initiative, you can't expect her to pick up on those feelings; that's a classic "nice guy" trap and I hope you never fall into it. You have to be brave enough to take a chance and ask for something more. Don't sweat it, you're a great guy and by my estimate you'd have to work pretty damn hard to really screw up.

 

Use an IM based client to tell this person you "Need to tell them something in person" That way you've already told them you intend to tell them and you know there's no backing down :3 You should go for it! We believe in you! I hope everything goes well ^_^ (Coming from the guy who's always been too nervous to confess in person)

 

I had the same issue with a friend of mine. What I did was slip her a letter explaining how I felt while we were at a con together. I can't say it worked out well (though she has indicated that I'm becoming her ideal boyfriend), but she understood both how I felt and that she would need to initiate the conversation on how we should proceed in our relationship. Honestly, I'm way happier just knowing that she knows and is able to cope with being the subject of a love that she doesn't reciprocate well enough that we're still best friends. Even after a small "episode" where we decided to try "us" out for a night and she kissed me in what I can only assume was a moment of weakness and things got awkward and somewhat angry in the proceeding month or so, we've only grown closer, even to the point that it's impossible to deny the romantic tension between us.
...
I'm getting off track.

Anyway, when you say that you have an easier time expressing your feelings through text, what I get from that is that you are best able to express yourself in writing, no matter what the medium of the writing is. I'd suggest writing a piece in essay or letter form describing how you feel in as many words as you need. Then find an opportunity to give it to her and when it happens, tell her to read it when she's alone. It took me over two single spaced pages to get my feelings out and I wasn't even thinking about what I was typing. Most likely case scenario, you end up like my friend and I with just enough romantic tension that the possibility of a bigger relationship remains open. If that doesn't happen, it'll be better more likely than it'll be worse. I have no idea if the grammar I used there makes any sense, but you should at least get the gist of it.

And, well, that's my advice. I wish you the best.

 

OH GOD ALL OF YOU
ARE SO GREAT ;_______;

I NEED TO HUG YOU ALL EACH INDIVIDUALLY
AND I WILL GET MY GODDAMN WAY

Anyway, I decided I'll ask her this morning before senior shenanigans begin. Wish me luck. ;~;
writing it down makes me feel like i have promised to come back with results (good or bad)

 

Good luck! :D You're gonna be just fine ^_^

 

Actually, that's not a bad way to accomplish a lot of things. If you think you're gonna chicken out, make it a promise to someone. Just don't overdo it like me or you might end up breaking the promise anyway. >_>'

 

Don't think about it, just act. If you keep thinking, you won't end up doing it.



But yeah, I know Im late, but probably ask her out to something and then tell her your feelings.

 

I wish you the best of luck :glomp: