Hi, KHV. I would just like any bit of advice on what I could do here... My mother and father are divorced, ya see? And, they have been ever since I was in around Kindergarten. I was always going back and forth between my mother and father's house, which became very tiresome and sometimes nerve wracking. My father ended up marrying a woman, and I recall nearly crying to my father; that I didn't want them to be married, now this was quite a while back, and they're still married. She has been arrested, I believe, 2+ times while living with my father. One was when I myself had to call the police on her for assaulting my father - I do not remember much from my childhood, I seem to've subconsciously tried to repress it or something of the sort. I remember nearly no details of it, or the other times she has been approached by police. I only remember another when I was younger and I was sitting in the living room while she and my father were gone. I was watching Dragonball Z, and the cops randomly showed up Earlier this year, I have decided to stay with my mother more frequently, which my father is not quite happy about, and I hate going to my father's, not simply because of my step-mother, though. Which, I suppose I should add that she has lately been acting like she generally dislikes me. Whenever I want to say something about it, I keep bottled up, and it just ends up coming out when something happened; like when I revealed I wanted to go to my mother's more often. I just want some advice on what I should do o this matter.
I have been (still am I suppose) in a really similar situation, I know what it's like. It sucks, basically. :L I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Clearly though your father's house is not a safe environment for you to be in, and it's affecting your emotionally stability--which is not good. I fully support your decision to stay with your mom more. If something isn't making you happy I don't think you should do it, honestly. I don't know if you have anything against your dad, but if you still want to retain some contact with him, go out for a weekly dinner or something. That way you don't have to go to his house, but you're not cutting him out completely. And... I've been there, with the bottling up your emotions about it. All I can say is, let it out. Write in a journal, talk to a friend (I'm always here, if you need me), anything just to get it out. If you keep the lid on, it's all going to boil over eventually.
I sort of know what that's like. My mom and dad have been divorced for quite a while, and he got married to a nice Mexican (my heritage) woman shortly after the divorce. I only visited my dad in the beginning, and then I stopped, and when I turned 18 on 11/8/2009, I wasn't required to visit him anymore. It wasn't because of any grudges that I didn't visit him, I just like all the access to video games I had here. At first, I could just take my consoles and everything over there, but it became harder to when he got married again and I got a step-sister. Anyway, away from my stuff. It's not good to keep your feelings bottled up. If I were you, I would talk to a friend you trust or try to find someone that you more or less know that's going through a similar situation. You could also always try talking to your mother.
I don't think it is best for you to stay at your father's house either. Even though he is your father and that will never change, he and your step mother are obviously making wrong choices and aren't taking you into consideration. I'd think that he would understand your circumstance but I suppose he is blind to the fact that it isn't a good environment for you to live in. You don't have to cut him out of your life entirely but maybe just see him less over time. Tell your mom about the situation and I'm sure it will all turn out to be better in time as you distance yourself. No use being there while there is a lot of tension especially with the police. I feel bad for you, that is no way to grow up. I mean this is coming from someone who can't as much relate but I am hoping my advice will help you nonetheless, seeing that I've never been in this type of situation maybe I have a little bit of a different angle of it although it is a tad obvious that it's not emotionally healthy to stay with your father at this point. I hope this helped sweetie.
best thing for you to do with this is stay at your mother's place. If your father tries to take you back, I think you have the option of saying "no". And that stemother does not sound like someone to be around. Although kudos for getting her in jail.
Well, I would stay at your Mothers but this will be distressing to your Father, you're just gonig to have to explain to him the situation. To make it better you could organise to meet up with just him and do stuff like watch a film or just go out for lunch- just simple things. My guess, if the Step mother dislikes you it's most likely beacuse she just wants to keep your father to herself and feels like you are an obstacle. That is just a guess though. I would stay away from her as best you can but do still try to make time for your father.
Basically what everyone has already said, it's not a good environment etc. But if you do not want to see your stepmother but still see your father, why don't you try calling him and explaining the problem to him? I'm sure if you two talked about it, it would help. Now, if you do do this, don't say that you hate your stepmother and she doesn't like you just like that, because in my experiance with my stupid father, they generally don't acknowledge that properly and try to get you to spend more time with her in order to bond, which it seems like you don't want. Speak to him maturely, say something along the lines of "Dad, I don't feel comfortable staying with you and (insert stepmother's name) because I don't feel that it's a good enviroment for me to be brought up in and I understand that you are doing your best but it's affecting me." Then maybe suggest some activities the two of you could do together, maybe suggest a father-daughter day every week for just you two?
