Give me things to say on mic

Ars Nova · Apr 20, 2013

Give me things and I will record me saying them (maybe)

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KeybladeSpirit · Apr 20, 2013

Say, "Is Jew Boy married yet?" angrily and in a Yiddish accent.

strfruit · Apr 20, 2013

Sing Soft Kitty? :3

Trigger · Apr 20, 2013

"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?"

But say it in a thick southern accent.

Ars Nova · Apr 20, 2013

MP3 player's losing its mind so just click on your link

Is this the Krusty Krab? said: ↑

Say, "Is Jew Boy married yet?" angrily and in a Yiddish accent.
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Is Jew Boy Married Yet

strfruit said: ↑

Sing Soft Kitty? :3
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Soft Kitty

Crazy Diamond said: ↑

"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?"

But say it in a thick southern accent.
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Lukkit Yew Hackir

E: And now the only one of these I even slightly tried at isn't working fml

strfruit · Apr 20, 2013

Sforzato said: ↑

Soft Kitty

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:~~~~; you actually did it!!
SFORZATO RESPECT!

A Zebra · Apr 20, 2013

do an impression of a famous youtuber
don't really care which

Ars Nova · Apr 20, 2013

Fixed the System Shock one

hatok said: ↑

do an impression of a famous youtuber
don't really care which
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dis

C said: ↑

Please *** on my face
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not safe for kh-v[DOUBLEPOST=1366445867][/DOUBLEPOST]I guess either everyone went to bed or that last one grossed everyone out

Welp now this is the first bumped thread in the Spamzone GOOD MORNING TO THE EARLY RISERS PLS BLESS MY FACE

kitty_mckechnie · Apr 20, 2013

The room was too warm, stuffier than the tropical night outside. A bead of sweat dewed up on the nape of Claw’s neck. Claw walked slowly forward until he could reach out and touch the foamy netting. For some reason he felt the need to make sure everything was real.

He didn’t hear Forsaken return. Suddenly, his wintry finger caressed the back of Claw’s neck, wiping away the drop of perspiration.

“It’s a little hot here,” Forsaken said apologetically. “I thought… that would be best.”
“Thorough,” Claw murmured under his breath, and Forsaken chuckled. It was a nervous sound, rare for Forsaken.

“I tried to think of everything that would make this… easier,” he admitted.

Claw swallowed loudly, still facing away from him. Had there ever been a honeymoon like this before?

Claw knew the answer to that. No. There had not.

“I was wondering,” Forsaken said slowly, “if… first… maybe you’d like to take a
midnight swim with me?” He took a deep breath, and his voice was more at ease when he spoke again. “The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of.”

“Sounds nice.” Claw’s voice broke.

“I’m sure you’d like a Scottish minute or two.… It was a long journey.”

Claw nodded woodenly. He felt barely Scottish maybe a few minutes alone would help.

Forsaken’s lips brushed against Claw’s throat, just below his ear. He chuckled once and his cool breath tickled Claw’s overheated skin. “Don’t take too long, Mr. Shadow.”

Claw jumped a little at the sound of his new name.

Forsaken’s lips brushed down his neck to the tip of his shoulder. “I’ll wait for you in the water.”

He walked past Claw to the French door that opened right onto the beach sand. On the way, he shrugged out of his shirt, dropping it on the floor, and then slipped through the door into the moonlit night. The sultry, salty air swirled into the room behind him.

Did Claw’s skin burst into flames? He had to look down to check. Nope, nothing was burning. At least, not visibly.

He reminded himself to breathe, and then he stumbled toward the giant suitcase that Forsaken had opened on top of a low white dresser. It must be his, because his familiar bag of toiletries was right on top, and there was a lot of pink in there, but he didn’t recognize even one article of clothing. As he pawed through the neatly folded piles—looking for something familiar and comfortable, an old kilt maybe—it came to his attention that there was an awful lot of sheer lace and skimpy satin in his hands.
Lingerie. Very lingerie-ish lingerie, with French tags.

Claw didn’t know how or when, but someday, Jayn was going to pay for this.

Giving up, Claw went to the bathroom and peeked out through the long windows that
opened to the same beach as the French doors. He couldn’t see him; Claw guessed he was there in the water, not bothering to come up for air. In the sky above, the moon was lopsided, almost full, and the sand was bright white under its shine. A small movement caught Claw’s eye—draped over a bend in one of the palm trees that fringed the beach, the rest of Forsaken’s clothes were swaying in the light breeze.

A rush of heat flashed across Claw’s skin again.

He took a couple of deep breaths and then went to the mirrors above the long stretch of counters. He looked exactly like he’d been sleeping on a plane all day. Claw found his brush and yanked it harshly through the snarls on the back of his neck until they were smoothed out and the bristles were full of hair. He brushed his teeth meticulously, twice. Then he washed his face and splashed water on the back of his neck, which was feeling feverish. That felt so good that he washed his arms as well, and finally he decided to just give up and take the shower. He knew it was ridiculous to shower before swimming, but he needed to calm down, and hot water was one reliable way to do that.

Also, shaving his legs again seemed like a pretty good idea.

When he was done, he grabbed a huge white towel off the counter and wrapped it under his arms.

Then Claw was faced with a dilemma he hadn’t considered. What was he supposed to put on? Not a swimsuit, obviously. But it seemed silly to put his clothes back on, too. He didn’t even want to think about the things Jayn had packed for him.

His breathing started to accelerate again and his hands trembled—so much for the
calming effects of the shower. He started to feel a little dizzy, apparently a full-scale panic attack on the way. He sat down on the cool tile floor in his big towel and put his head between his knees. He prayed Forsaken wouldn’t decide to come look for him before he could pull himself together. Claw could imagine what Forsaken would think if he saw him going to pieces this way. It wouldn’t be hard for Forsaken to convince himself that they were making a mistake.

And Claw wasn’t freaking out because he thought they were making a mistake. Not at all. he was freaking out because he had no idea how to do this, and he was afraid to walk out of this room and face the unknown. Especially in French lingerie. He knew he wasn’t ready for that yet.

This felt exactly like having to walk out in front of a theater full of thousands with no
idea what his lines were.

How did people do this—swallow all their fears and trust someone else so implicitly
with every imperfection and fear they had—with less than the absolute commitment
Forsaken had given him? If it weren’t Forsaken out there, if Claw didn’t know in every cell of his body that Forsaken loved him as much as he loved him—unconditionally and irrevocably and, to be honest, irrationally—he’d never be able to get up off this floor.

But it was Forsaken out there, so Claw whispered the words “Don’t be a coward” under his breath and scrambled to his feet. He hitched the towel tighter under his arms and marched determinedly from the bathroom. Past the suitcase full of lace and the big bed without looking at either. Out the open glass door onto the powder-fine sand.

Everything was black-and-white, leached colorless by the moon. Claw walked slowly across the warm powder, pausing beside the curved tree where Forsaken had left his clothes. Claw laid his hand against the rough bark and checked his breathing to make sure it was even. Or even enough.

Claw looked across the low ripples, black in the darkness, searching for him.

He wasn’t hard to find. He stood, his back to Claw, waist deep in the midnight water,
staring up at the oval moon. The pallid light of the moon turned his skin a perfect white, like the sand, like the moon itself, and made his wet hair black as the ocean. He was motionless, his hands resting palms down against the water; the low waves broke around him as if he were a stone. Claw stared at the smooth lines of his back, his shoulders, his arms, his neck, the flawless shape of him.…

The fire was no longer a flash burn across Claw’s skin—it was slow and deep now; it
smoldered away all his awkwardness, his shy uncertainty. He slipped the towel off
without hesitation, leaving it on the tree with Forsaken’s clothes, and walked out into the white light; it made Claw pale as the snowy sand, too.

Claw couldn’t hear the sound of his footsteps as he walked to the water’s edge, but he guessed that Forsaken could. Forsaken did not turn. Claw let the gentle swells break over his toes, and found that Forsaken had been right about the temperature—it was very warm, like bath water. Claw stepped in, walking carefully across the invisible ocean floor, but his care was unnecessary; the sand continued perfectly smooth, sloping gently toward Forsaken. Claw waded through the
weightless current till he was at Forsaken’s side, and then Claw placed his hand lightly over Forsaken’s cool hand lying on the water.

“Beautiful,” Claw said, looking up at the moon, too.

“It’s all right,” Forsaken answered, unimpressed. He turned slowly to face Claw; little waves rolled away from his movement and broke against Claw’s skin. Forsaken’s eyes looked silver in his ice-colored face. He twisted his hand up so that he could twine their fingers beneath the surface of the water. It was warm enough that his cool skin did not raise goose bumps on Claw’s.

“But I wouldn’t use the word beautiful,” he continued. “Not with you standing here in
comparison.”

Claw half-smiled, then raised his free hand—it didn’t tremble now—and placed it over Forsaken’s heart. White on white; they matched, for once. Forsaken shuddered the tiniest bit at Claw’s warm touch. His breath came rougher now.

“I promised we would try,” he whispered, suddenly tense. “If… if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.”

Claw nodded solemnly, keeping his eyes on Forsaken’s. He took another step through the waves and leaned his head against Forsaken’s chest.

“Don’t be afraid,” Claw murmured. “We belong together.”

Claw was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of his own words. This moment was so
perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it.

Forsaken’s arms wrapped around Claw, holding him against him, summer and winter. It felt like every nerve ending in Claw’s body was a live wire.

“Forever,” Forsaken agreed, and then pulled them gently into deeper water.
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:3

Scarred Nobody · Apr 20, 2013

Read the first chapter of Twilight or 50 Shades.

LARiA · Apr 20, 2013

"Daisuki da yo, Onii-chan~!"

Jiηx · Apr 20, 2013

"I am lightning, the rain transformed"

Guardian Soul · Apr 20, 2013

Crimson Azoth said: ↑

"I am lightning, the rain transformed"
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"It's time for Jack to let her rip!"

Do the Seekernort speech that I know you know by heart. Pun intended.

Ars Nova · Apr 20, 2013

Iris Heart said: ↑

:3
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Creature said: ↑

Read the first chapter of Twilight or 50 Shades.
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...

LARiA said: ↑

"Daisuki da yo, Onii-chan~!"
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dye-ski dye-oh

Crimson Azoth said: ↑

"I am lightning, the rain transformed"
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lightning

Guardian Soul said: ↑

"It's time for Jack to let her rip!"

Do the Seekernort speech that I know you know by heart. Pun intended.
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Not even gonna listen to this because I know it's terrible but here u go

kitty_mckechnie · Apr 20, 2013

Sforzato said: ↑

...
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You disappoint, son.

Ars Nova · Apr 20, 2013

Iris Heart said: ↑

You disappoint, son.
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My slightly-more-than-friend is basically a sexual expert, like, her dream is to open a sex toy shop

and she is physically repulsed by 50 Shades

It actually made her sick

Excuse me for being scared to read it

kitty_mckechnie · Apr 20, 2013

Sforzato said: ↑

My slightly-more-than-friend is basically a sexual expert, like, her dream is to open a sex toy shop

and she is physically repulsed by 50 Shades

It actually made her sick

Excuse me for being scared to read it
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But its not 50 Shades.

And be a man, dammit! ...hide in the loo and whisper it.

Jiku Neon · Apr 20, 2013

Do you know how many breads you've eaten in your life?

A Zebra · Apr 20, 2013

Sforzato said: ↑

Not even gonna listen to this because I know it's terrible but here u go
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woah, that's actually really good

anyways, say your username

LARiA · Apr 20, 2013

Read John Skelton's doggerel.

Upon a Dead Man's Head

YOUR ugly token
My mind hath broken
From worldly lust;
For I have discussed
We are but dust,
And die we must.
It is general
To be mortal:
I have well espied
No man may him hide
From Death hollow-eyed
With sinews witherèd,
With bonès shatterèd,
With his worm-eaten maw,
And his ghastly jaw
Gasping aside,
Naked of hide,
Neither flesh nor fell.
Then, by my counsel,
Look that ye spell
Well this gospel:
For whereso we dwell
Death will us quell
And with us mell.
For all our pampered paunches,
There may no fraunchis,
Nor worldly bliss ,
Redeem us from this:
Our days be dated
To be checkmated
With draughtès of death,
Stopping our breath;
Our eyen sinking,
Our bodies stinking,
Our gummès grinning,
Our soulès brinning.
To whom, then, shall we sue,
For to have rescue,
But to sweet Jesu,
On us then for to rue?
O goodly Child
Of Mary mild,
Then be our shield !
That we be not exiled
To the dyne dale
Of bottomless bale,
Nor to the lake
Of fiendès blake.
But grant us grace
To see thy face,
And to purchase
Thine heavenly place,
And thy palace,
Full of solace,
Above the sky,
That is so high;
Eternally
To behold and see
The Trinity!
Amen.
Mirres vous y.
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Give me things to say on mic

Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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KeybladeSpirit [ENvTuber] [pngTuber]

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strfruit Gummi Ship Junkie

Trigger hewwo uwu

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Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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strfruit Gummi Ship Junkie

A Zebra Chaser

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Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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kitty_mckechnie I want to hug you like big fuzzy Siberian bear!

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Scarred Nobody Where is the justice?

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LARiA Twilight Town Denizen

Jiηx You're such a loser.

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Guardian Soul hella sad & hella rad

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Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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kitty_mckechnie I want to hug you like big fuzzy Siberian bear!

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Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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kitty_mckechnie I want to hug you like big fuzzy Siberian bear!

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Jiku Neon Kingdom Keeper

A Zebra Chaser

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LARiA Twilight Town Denizen