Hmmm... I've changed schools since I last spoke to the Help With life section in good ol' 2008, but Im here again. Bet you missed me, aye? Well, going to my new school, I decided not to mention my old school or any of the crap that happened there, I keep a lot of things down in the black abyss of my memory :) As a result, Ive put on this 'happy' character, where Im friends with everyone, Im the positive thinker, the optimist, whatever you wanna call it. But it means that they don't know me personally. Because Ive never said anything to anyone about my past experiences, Im getting further away from my friends and I fear this could eventually leave me excluded from people I still sit with. Example: one of my closest friends puts up a status on facebook-the lovable centre of cybershit, and it says something like this: "Heyy everyone thanks for coming tonight! Had a great time and loving opening my pressies atm xoxo" people obviously commenting like "happy birthday!" and whatnot. And I obviously wasn't invited... The point I'm trying to make here is, by hiding who I was, Ive actually gotten more insecure than it seems. Will that in turn affect my friendships in the future? Like it's damaged mine and my...'bestie's' now???
This phrase may be over used but be yourself. As for your friend's party, ask them why you didn't get invited. There may have been a problem and they were not able to invite you. So instead of saying something to you about it and telling you they can't come may be because they didn't want to feel left out. (but i guess in the end you actually do) True friends will with you no matter who you are... I hope this helps.
Just be yourself, as for the party, it might not be they were trying to leave you out, it might have just happened, like I had mine on Friday and I could invite one of my really good friends because I could only have 5 people, I didn't mention it to her till after the party was over, it might just be something like that
I tend to do this with friends as well. I have a social axiety and it eventually gets to me at some point or another. Even when it does affect me I also play a 'happy' character. Just be yourself. Insecurities can cause one to step away from ones that are close to you. If this happens any further, I suggest having a sit-down with a friend or all of them and talk about what's bugging you. Talking about problems is a good way to vent and ask for advice. I'm always here to try and help. :) If you wanna drop by and pm me I'll be more than happy to try and help with the insecurities that are bothering you.
I fail to see the connection between not being invited to a birthday party, and not bringing up experiences you'd rather forget. You seem to feel that they're related, but I don't see why. First, establish the cause of your friend not inviting you before you draw any conclusions. The last thing you want to do is to drag up some bad memories. The 'you' of now and the 'you' of the old school are different people. If you've decided that those previous experiences are not going to be a part of your character, then there's no reason to bring them up. If you want help with them, that's understandable, but actively bringing them up in order to improve a friendship is unlikely to help. Let the past remain in the past, and instead work on improving the present by using the present.
P's right. Focus on the now. If you worry about your past, remeber it's in the past and you can't do anything with it. Work to be better than your past self, and continue to be who you want to be and not dwell on what you were.
I know a guy exactly like you, the way you describe yourself is him. He is extremely friendly and if no one will talk to you he will but no one goes down to his house, not even some of his better friends. I've tried to invite him out, most recently i invited him to a house party on the 28th but he's reclusive. He tells us nothing of his parents or family and barely anything about himself. You don't need to be so insecure. Just take the first step to ask if they want to go to the movies on Saturday or something. Show initiative and everything else will follow.
Be yourself, your friends probably think you're hiding something. People love honesty since it's such a rarity nowadays. I don't know what you're hiding but I think you should share it with your friends. I think you should talk to them, they obviously don't feel they know you as well as they should. You should let out what you're hiding, being happy all the time is misleading.
