So I was reading Justin Bieber's Wikipedia page and noticed he's a supporter in the It Gets Better Project, a group that helps teenagers be comfortable with their sexuality, especially those that are homosexual and bisexual. A 14-year-old boy, who was also in combat against homophobic-ism, committed suicide on September 18, 2011 after constant bullying and being called gay. Suicide of James Rodemeyer Now, I don't know about anyone else, but that really brought me down. I mean, he was only 14 at the time and still had his future ahead of him. Kind of related to the gay marriage thread in here, but when can we live in a world where not being heterosexual is normal? I may not agree with suicide in any way, but I do understand why people do it and have sympathy for those who commit it due to bullying or hate. Thoughts? Opinions?
You're always going to have those who are afraid of things different than what they're used to. Maybe, with enough influential power, we can see the status quo change within the next millenium. If we could get the teenagers and young adults to see there's nothing wrong with being homosexual, then eventually those who are against it will disappear. Leaving those who are okay with homosexuality. I couldn't say for sure whether or not we'd see the drastic change in our lifetime, but it's a nice thought. It's sickening to think of the things that humans can do. I'm just a tad bit off, so I'd never get down over bullying, but seeing this is despicable. Chalk another one up for why I hate the human race. I can't grasp the concept of why one would want to drive another to committing suicide. I think bullying someone into committing suicide should be considered homicide, and everyone involved should be convicted. Maybe it'd just be faster to kill off all the intolerant idiots out there. Sadly that'd put too much of a dent in the population. Maybe one day the world will wake up and realize there's more than just the tiny little box they're living in. Maybe then we could make some actual progress. My condolences to his family who, because of intolerant jerks, lost a son and a brother. My heart goes out to all those suffering for the same reasons. You're beautiful just the way you are, and don't let anyone ever tell you you're not. Don't be afraid to be yourself, be afraid to not be yourself. Keep your chin up, and stay true to yourself. If you have pride in who you are, you won't make a false move.
Honestly, I have been bullied myself very badly in high school. The only time it was stopped was when outside influences were used. An example was when after the last three weeks of my Sophomore year, where a bully called across a classroom that I was basically a whore and several other things without the teacher doing anything and threatening me with suspension when I finally had enough and told the bully where to stuff it. He started harassing me during the summer. Including calling out insults from his car while nearly running me over when I was walking near my house. It reached the peak when my mom woke up to find spit all over her windshield. We have been calling the school and we were begging for them to do something and/or give us the kids information so we can do something about the situation which was massively out of hand. They didn't call us back all day until we called the police and they said to file a cease harassment order that basically made it illegal to have anything to do with me. We left a message on the school and they responded in TEN MINUTES and fixed the problem. The cops said when we told them that that's the only thing the school responds to: The police stepping in and dealing with the issue themselves before the school did anything. And I'm sorry if I rant: School's need to wake the **** up about this issue. This has been happening for decades, hell, it happened so badly that my brother was such a psychological wreck from it that my mom said after Columbine he would've done the same thing if he had the chance. My best friend who's as laid back as possible carried a KNIFE around school because of what happened to her and the Vice Principal just patted her on the head and shooed her out. We had NOTES where there was a boy who wrote threatening notes about sexually assaulting her and killing her boyfriend. And he was bullying me at the time so it wasn't the first time. No one does anything about this issue. They just sweep it under the carpet and wish it goes away. I've had clubs encouraged by teachers based on people hating me, I've been sexually harassed, verbally abused and threatened for three years in high school. One was by an ex boyfriend who I broke up with that summer and they ignored the fact he was degrading me every day in the same class. And no one did anything about it at all in the school. Not a single person. It finally took a letter to my state representative to finally get it to stop and that was out of sheer desperation. Bullying happens every day in every school, maybe to not all the kids, but the ones who go through it, it becomes pure hell to wake up. It becomes pure hell to go to the bus stop, it becomes pure hell to enter that building and feel sick to your stomach every day. It becomes pure hell to lay there at night wondering if anyone, even God cares about you or if you had an angel that was watching over you. I know because I have experienced it myself for three years in high school. And do you know what? You can't turn to the police or anyone else for help, it's just the school. Where they ignore it. Real life is different, but unless schools give over discipline to the cops or do something different, there's always going to be bullying and it needs to stop. Something needs to change. It doesn't matter why the bullying is happening, for me, it started with a third grade teacher who hated my guts enough to make a club of people hating me. It started with a student obsessed with me, it started by a random student who just hated me breathing, it started with a ex boyfriend who hated me breaking me up with him. The only time I honestly got help was outside of school. With the State Representative, with the cops, with me nearly getting killed when I was thrown viciously from my bike when a bully shoved a stick in my spokes and the whole neighborhood which was a playground/park area saw it and heard me screaming from shock. I hope and pray it changes soon, but with new technology that is at people's disposals now, it's harder than ever. There's ways to stop them, but I don't see it happening soon. Bullying starts somewhere, let it happen as a kid, and they'll keep on pushing it and pushing it and pushing it as far as they can. It'll continue until they're in jail or worse. I do know some grow out of it, but some don't. If you don't teach them that this is wrong, they'll not learn until they finally get punished. Maybe it's the parents, maybe it's their nature, maybe it's something else, but schools and parents are responsible for this stuff to end. I see it less and less happening than ever. And it deeply saddens me.
I feel like this is an issue that has been restated over and over again. Yes, bullying is a bad thing. We get it. On a fundamental level bullying someone because they are different than what you perceive to be normal is wrong. I don't care about gay people being bullied (the reason for why they are bullied), to me it's all the same. Bullying is bullying. Ideally, I want a world where labels aren't a defining part of someones character,and where people don't conform to any subculture to associate with similar people. This only makes the problem worse. Until people stop separating themselves from others because of something as trivial as sexual preference, no progress can be made. That goes for gay people, straight people, or whatever kind of sexual preference you have. I'm not singling out any group or putting any specific group at fault, I'm saying as a collective whole of humans who are attracted to other humans, it doesn't matter, stop making differences a big deal, just shut up and live you life.
In middle school, I do remember being a victim of physical abuse by a fellow student, for what reason, I don't know or can recall. It was a one-time event. I can't remember the details of how bad it was but I felt then the adults that found out about it were blowing it out of proportion. My father quickly took notice of my scratches and bruises on the drive home from school and was more shocked or angry about it than I was. He informed the school without my knowledge. Next day I was called into the dean's office without knowing for what reason; I'd already forgot about the bullying. The student that abused me was there with accompanying parents and I was issued a formal apology. I felt sorry that he was probably being forced to apologize, and how embarrassing this was for the both of us. I did not say anything besides, "Okay," but was thinking, "Okay, can I go now?" I don't remember if any punishment imposed on him. The bullying stopped there without any intervention on my part. So I guess kudos to the adults that got this solved quickly. Though I think I am an extremely bad example of how a person should deal with this type of situation. You should tell someone. I disregarded it because I did not feel I was hurt. This reminds me of statistics showing that over half of rape victims don't report their assault to the authorities. I've never been a victim of gay bashing. It's never been apparent that I'm homosexual and I never tell simply because it's something I don't think people need to know or deserve to know. I do tell anyone if asked; I don't care. Suicide I think I can understand, though not as a direct result of abuse. Suicide is often committed out of despair, when a person feels they don't have anything left to them, a loss of value of oneself, a loss of hope. I think a belief in an afterlife eases the decision. Anything that contributes to the hastening of a suicide would disallow a person to curb or pace themselves with such a choice, to wonder and be certain if being dead really is preferable. A true suicide is done in such a way. To truly not have faith in a new beginning is something I believe only a relative few who commit suicide were burdened with.
Like I said, I don't agree with suicide, but, depending on the circumstances, I sympathize with those that execute it. However, there's a thing of interest in here for me: this 14-year-old that committed suicide was in battle against bullying and gay bullying just like the IGB project, so shouldn't he have been strong and just ignored the comments when he was being bullied and not let them affect him and drive him to suicide?
I know a lot of people believe that bullying can be ignored. That they should be stronger than that. Unless you actually experience it or see the affects with your own eyes, you can't judge someone's reaction to being bullied. I know some people react different than others. But some cases it gets so bad that the victims don't see any other option other than killing themselves. They don't see any good or any end to it happening. It's different for each person, my bullying was severely scarring to me but my mom says that my brother had it worse because of what happened to him. Who do you think is right? It's like the thread about comparing tragedies: You can't compare someone else's experiences with your own. You can't say which one is better or worse. Each one affects each person differently. You can't judge someone for their own reaction unless it's something that is terrible say: Someone's beating a child/dog and the person is laughing. Because they will always react differently than you to something that is going on. Unfortunately, I think it's a mindset in society today to have them stronger and/or better than that. That you have to show them it doesn't hurt you and you shouldn't say anything. Hell, I know some people like rape victims from above get blamed for being bullied that they're doing something wrong themselves and causing the problem themselves. I work at a place where I get verbally abused and harassed a lot by a co-worker. I've complained three times to my boss about his attitude towards me and am actually thinking about taking legal action next time. The boss the last time took me for a walk because I was a shaking crying wreck in front of her and spent the fifteen minute walk trying to figure out what I was doing wrong to make him hate me so much. I have barely said three words to this man for the four years that I've been there, I've been polite and respectful even when he's screaming in my face and verbally badmouthing me behind my back. I do my work and keep my head down. She knows this and I've told her this yet she still blames me for his hate towards me. It's sadly a part of life.
Bullying can be such an underestimated issue, I look at it from the psychological perspective as it can cause such horrific mental scars and the consequences could develop into anything from inferior complexes to severe mental health conditions- no two people would react to the event in exactly the same way because we are all so complex. Gay bullying, cyberbullying, sexist bullying, whatever type of bullying it's all the same and it's horrible. I was bullied when I was about 5 by a 4 year old who pushed me around in the playground and said horrible things to me (a minor case I suppose) but I know it made me incredibly upset for however long it went on. Now, according to my Dad (and I completely trust him on this as he wouldn't have reason to lie, plus the bullying stopped- I just can't directly recall it) I didn't tell anyone about the issue even when asked a lot by my father but one day as he came to collect me from school I walked up to this bully and hit him in the face. My Dad, being my Dad, was silently very proud of me and took me home. Needless to say, the bullying stopped and I grew up. I was belittled an awful lot throughout primary school and controlled by my best friend. We were really close but for some reason she went through a stage of abusing me (in a childish way) like hiding from me all lunch so I was alone in the playground. Her and Lucy, a friend of hers who hated me for some reason, did this and I still remember it vividly. I didn't get a long at all with Lucy at this point as we fought over Leah (my best friend) basically but she had simply invaded our friendship and so our duo became a trio for about a year. I felt like I was losing my best friend and it was horrible. For the rest of primary school we remained best friends but I was always the 'back up' friend in a way, I hung around with her because I didn't have loads of other friends but she was the popular girl of the year group. It wasn't really until we went to secondary school when we were put on opposite sides of the year (so we shared no lessons and basically didn't see each other very much in school) did we make more of an effort to remain friends and then we became as close as we are today. I know this isn't a major case of bullying like some of the stories here but I know how it affected me. I have always felt uneasy at times when I make plans with Leah because part of my brain still thinks "she will cancel because she has better things to do" but that thought is slowly fading but I don't think it will ever disappear for good. It also made me a bully in year 6. I look back and I loathe myself for the things that I did, I was just a child so I suppose I didn't understand exactly what I was doing but I can't help and regret it so much. I did it because I wanted to impress Leah and it's what she was doing at times, I did it because I was bullied and I felt that was what I should do. I have no excuse for it but I know that the mind of a bully is a mess in itself and the reasons they do it a buried behind insecurities. Of course that doesn't excuse them but I try and empathise with them when I can as that gives us a better understanding of why they do it so it can be stopped. You can't just teach people bullying is bad, you can't just tell them to stop it, there is something within peoples minds that just causes them to act this way. As for suicide, it's so tragic and I don't agree with it but I can completely emapthise with people who feel it's the only answer. I am glad we are more understanding of the issue today than about 500 years ago where they condemned people for committing suicide, not giving them a Christian burial etc. It's a very severe issue and it is never the answer, there will always be something better but you have to live long enough to experience it. That's my unfalsifiable optimism though.
Let us not forget the smaller tortures: hateful or derogatory comments or slurs towards a group that a person might hear from others as everyday language, even if it's not directed towards them or any single person in particular. I would consider this bullying within itself. Hostility is bred when one is taught prejudice. If one knows that using such language is wrong, hearing the language can only hurt them. I'm sure suicide is still considered a sin, judging by whenever I hear of suicide in a religious context. Very sad that there are those that would continue to bully others beyond the grave. I am also hurt whenever I hear people say "I don't agree with suicide," or "Suicide is never the answer," not to suggest those who commit suicide are seeking answers. Sorry that I'm referring to some of us here; I know you mean well. I don't believe it will help if people who are contemplating suicide are made to feel even more separated from others if they're told their desire to die is anything but reasonable; to be made to feel even more worthless, knowing that their thoughts about taking their own life is not even a viable option by society's standards. But what is a suicidal person to do if all repercussions are forfeit if they go through with it? I don't mean to say we should encourage suicide, but to be accepting of suicidal thoughts as a normal desire to have when one is in pain.
Any sane person can't ignore bullying entirely. There comes a point at which they're going to snap. As the article itself even says, this boy was only 14 years old. Do you really think he was capable of handling bullying? Imagine a constant voice whispering in your ear, day and night. Imagine that voice telling you things that make you very uncomfortable. What do you think would happen after about a year? Do you think you'd still be going on about your day without any problems whatsoever, or do you think you might start feeling trapped? When it comes to the point you feel like you're trapped in an endless situation, you seek desperate means to escape. Some turn to bullying themselves, others to drugs, and in the worst cases they turn to suicide. If you drive a nail long enough, it'll eventually reach its end.
To be fair, I think it varies from person to person. Like you said, after constant harassment, some would become bullies, do drugs, commit suicide, etc., but those that don't let it affect them (or just don't show it) and instead turn for help and get the law involved if necessary also do exist.
Like I sad in the above post though: A lot of schools want to deny it happens. I started living in the Vice Principal's office on how many times I went there and complained about bullies. Not to mention what happened to my friend, and when they do nothing like that, it really starts to eat at you in despair. The police most of the time can't get involved due to the circumstances these incidents happen in. If it's off school property, those bullies would be arrested in a second. But it's not, and the school ends up dealing with it. Which is never handled or when it is, it's handled so badly the person feels worse than they did before. I knew one of the nicest kids in my class, a freshman mind you got assaulted by a classmate who was a junior with three teachers who witnessed the whole thing and had to literally pry the two apart because the junior had a grip on her hair and ripped out a good portion. She was in my study hall that year and told us about it afterwards I also witnessed it myself when it happened, but didn't hear about the injuries. Do you know why she was assaulted? They had gym together and the girls t-shirt was stolen. Someone blamed the junior and one of the girls friends later told a teacher who spoke to the junior around lunch. Ten minutes later she goes storming to the girls face and starts screaming threats and insults including several swears and the girl pushed her in self-defense. The next thing you see is the junior grabbing her by the ponytail and yanking her head down and smashing her knee into her stomach. THAT'S when the teachers stepped in and stopped the fighting. And note: I saw this with my own eyes, I was actually there when the fight broke out. The junior who had temperament issues already and a long history of bullying including me was suspended for a week including the girl who was assaulted. When the girl got back, she got so many threats from the junior and her friends that she transferred schools and later on killed herself. Bullying needs police influence to be stopped. This happens in schools all over the country, schools have an iron grip on these children time and time again while they're on the property and this is what comes out of it. I can mention thousands of other cases of this happening, this subject is extremely sensitive for me and I know I sound repetitive, but this is one subject that for three years sent me through the depths of hell because I was in the same situation as these kids were in today in school. Things need to change to get bullying to stop. There needs to be police influence with assaults, sexual harassment and more teacher involvement. If teachers see this **** happening, they have to do something themselves. One of the only years I wasn't bullied was when a teacher gave a student three strikes before suspending them. This was in fourth grade, the year after that club was formed and I was destroyed inside from the affects of that year. She didn't care who your parents were, what you did, or what the school thought. She was tough as nails and I still admired her for doing something that most likely stopped the bullying for the most part for five years straight before high school. That's what one teacher can do if they decided to do things their own way, and I know it's hard, but tenure protects teachers from being fired. And I'm sure as hell those three teachers that stood idly by during that assault had tenure.
As I've said before on this site, I was suicidal for a long time because I was bullied. I had emotional instability that I am still dealing with but I've gotten help for. I was angry, I was sad, I was euphoric to the point I didn't give a **** about anything. But I was suicidal because I was bullied from Junior High onwards. I started dressing in black. I wore long sleeves/armwarmers even in summer to hide the cuts I made. Never deep enough to scar and I felt like I was chickening out because I could never press deep enough. And I read and wrote all the time. I had bullies snatch books/notebooks out of my hands, tell me I was crap for reading outside of class and then they'd rip my books/notebooks up while I watched. And in sight of the teachers. I just learned to sit there and let my hate for them fester. I kept my head down. I never made eye contact with people. I clasped books and notebooks to my chest with all my strength like they were my lifeline. I was followed home from school once. That was the only time action by the authority figures was taken. High school my emotional instability got worse the more I was pushed. Coursework became a distraction. I still read and wrote outside of class. I lived in the principle's office or the computer lab because that's where I felt safest. I asked the principle if I could eat my lunch in her office. She asked why. I told her I didn't feel comfortable in the cafeteria and I told her everything. I had a mental breakdown. I remember shaking and crying and pouring out everything I'd been through. I must have told her names because there were faces missing. I started escaping to my computer. And then they called my parents. I spent a 72 hour period in a hospital on a suicide prevention watch. I still have the stupid paper bracelet that I wore for about a month after the fact. Because I wanted people to know what it was from. What they had driven me to. One day, I remember one of the guys that bullied me was doing his usual crap and I guess I just reached a breaking point. I was in an angry phase because all I could see was red. And then I punched him in the face. I remember him falling to the ground and me just snarling venom in his face. I grabbed his jaw in my hand and applied all the pressure I could. I felt bones shifting under my fingers and I just did not care. I felt a teacher hauling me off him and talking me down. I was like an animal that had been abused too much. The teacher saw the look in my eyes and this teacher had known me since grade school. I remember her saying that the world had changed me and for some reason that hit me. She said the jerk deserved what he had gotten. It didn't make me feel any better. I spent the rest of that day sitting in the principle's office to calm down. We started having speakers about bullying but it never did anything. I just heard the bullies snickering and cracking jokes the whole time. Sad when the thing that drives people to suicide becomes a joke. I've had to claw myself out of a deep dark pit so many times. I've had to shut out the voice so many times. It wears on a person after awhile. It's a voice that's very hard to ignore because oftentimes it's your voice telling you that you're worthless. That no one would miss you. That the world would have been better if you never existed. That your family and friends would have been better off if you were never born. Words hurt just as much as fists do. Bruises fade and broken bones mend. But the scars left by the acid burns of words oftentimes never heal. More likely they'll fester and become infected. And can kill a person if left untreated.
^This Bullying is many times just brushed aside in most cases because people can't really see how much it can harm a person. As Sara said, you really can't see or understand completely how much it effects someone unless you have experienced it yourself. It hurts. A lot. I was bullied from kindergarten to ninth grade, and it definitely had an effect on how I grew up. And though I never considered committing suicide because I don't agree with it, I can see why people are led towards doing it. To wake up each day scared of what will be said or what will be done to you is a terrible feeling and to know a way to erase all of that is comforting. It's really sad to even think of that being the answer. Bullying for one's sexual preferences, for how they look, how they act, what they like, etc....etc....I really can't put in words how horrible it is to pick on people for such reasons. It's wrong and one can only wish there was a way to keep it from happening to anyone. Especially the young kids who aren't old enough to have built strength enough to pull through it. It is a rough time for anyone. No one should have to feel such at all in their lifetime. =( I really can't say much more than what has already been said here, but I have to agree with almost everything that was mentioned.
Do you care to share how you've been getting help? To not care for anything would include not caring to try to seek help. I've found that the will to get better is what it takes for things to get better. No, I can't imagine other people's pain when it comes to being bullied, but I think it's appropriate to say I had once been suicidal. I felt as if I was nothing and that nothing mattered. Then I became content with just simply living. I had been living a life on hold until recently, when I started to question what exactly is it have I been working towards all this time.
To answer your question Nel: In third grade, the teacher was yelling at me every day. She was humiliating me every time she could and degrading me in front of the class. I have asbergers so I couldn't really fully express to my parents at that time what was going on. That and the club formed under my name that plain out hated me. The girl who stuck the stick in my spokes joined it with several others. I think they had a contest for a while to see who could do the most damage to me even. I already posted how that ended when I spoke about it above. Anyway, a teacher was walking by and overheard what was going on. She went to my mom and told her what the hell was going on in that school. My mom asked me after school and I agreed, I still don't really remember fully the incident. It faded over time, but I do remember the club mostly because my best friend at the time left me with a note saying she joined the club herself and what my mom told me. She went to a meeting with the teacher pissed and said if she ever did anything to me again, she would make her life a living hell in every way possible. She said later that the teacher thought she was going to hit her. The screaming and degrading stopped, but it never really ended until fourth grade with the bullying and that teacher threatening suspension if the kids bullied three times. I went to the Vice Principals office every day for most of my freshman year for the bully who was sexually harassing me. I had notes, verbal fights in the cafeteria in front the Vice's eyes, and incidents in the main hall. I told him again and again begging for help. I went to the Principal after the Vice Principal said he'd "talk to the bully" and it continued. He said let the Vice Principal deal with it. I then went to the Superintendent, and told her what was happening. She told me to basically get lost. I was there when my best friend went to the Vice Principal with a note from the bully saying that he'd rape her and kill her boyfriend because I was on the note also. Actual words, words saying what he would do, what he was planning, and that he thought we were just the c word. The Vice Principal patted us on the head and showed us to the door. Like I said before, she carried a knife around school for two weeks afterwards. Her father finally came in who was a lawyer and pretty intimidating when angry and ripped the school a new one. She was left alone after that. The second time it happened was in a classroom. I actually liked the teacher and thought he was pretty kind. Then this boy from across the room started calling: "Something stinks around here." Along with other comments I won't go into. I actually didn't know it was me until I was in the bathroom by myself one day and two girls from my class said it when I was getting out of the stall and they were staring and giggling uncontrollably. There was no one else in the bathroom at the time. He got more confrontational as time went on and I just ignored it mostly hoping the teacher would do something. After a schoolwide event, we got in a shouting match. The teacher finally lost it saying: "I'm sick of this now." And said if we ever said a word to each other again, he'd suspend us. I was too shocked to really say or do anything, or I think I would've stormed out from the fact that he blamed me for what was happening. It was a week before school ended. When school ended for the year, a few weeks in summer I was walking down my street, where I was out of sight of my house, and a car pulled up. I mean really pulled up, if I wanted to, I could've reached out and touched the car. The bully stuck his head out the window and said: "Something really stinks around here." And the car drove away before I could react. I was so freaked out by it that I didn't get the license plate. Which in hindsight was my fault. A few days later, we woke up to the sight of spit all over my mom's windshield. We called the school immediately asking for the kids information so we could call the parents and/or they'd call themselves. We called every hour with the promise: "He'll get right back to you." Finally around two, we got sick and tired of waiting. We called the police and told them everything that happened. The police actually said themselves they've seen this happen with several other kids in town who have been bullied in school. They offered us a restraining order and with the promise if anything else happened, they'd go and arrest the bully themselves. They also said that it would be the thing that would cause the school to take any action. We called the school armed with the information and told them exactly what we were planning on doing. They called us in five minutes and the problem was dealt with, them constantly telling us, and I quote: "You don't have to do anything, we'll fix it right away for you." And it finally ended. In my junior year, my ex-bf was in the same class as I was. We were assigned seats and I was in the front at the same table as he was. He was angry that I broke up with him and was dating another boy who was one of my best boyfriends of all time. He spent every day belittling and degrading and making scathing comments about me and my boyfriend in front of two boys who I think looking back at it felt very awkward. Note: This was in front of the teacher and she knew every single word that happened and she did nothing. I complained again to the vice principal several times complaining about it. Nothing happened and one day it reached a head when we were asked to write down our heroes. I wrote down my boyfriend who is schizophrenic because he had a hard time with it, but was a nice down to earth guy who you could never tell he had such mental problems other than a few times he tried to kill himself because of the medications not taking or something. My ex said in front of everyone within earshot of him: "You admire someone who tried to jump into the bonfire of homecoming?" Note, again in front a teacher, a substitute mind you. He then went on to continue saying stuff: "I'm going to jump into the fire!!! WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" I just burst into tears at that point and even the kids who were at the same table said that it was way to far. After class I was such a wreck and humiliated about it I stormed to my guidance counselors office and started screaming at him about it. He and my mom finally allowed me to go home for the next class because I couldn't calm down. When I went back to class for the rest of the day, I went to the teacher who's class I missed and told her everything. She was in tears at that point and said she wished she could do something. It was the only time in high school that I actually felt like a teacher cared other than my German teacher who helped me in any way he could in support. My mom apparently went to the mother of the bully and ripped her a new one about the treatment I was receiving and the bullying stopped. At that time, I decided to write a letter to my state representative and senator. I wrote most of what happened to me in high school and several other examples nationwide at the time and an appeal for help. I still remember most of the letter, which I will not share before you ask, it was mostly very personal for me and it's rough for me to talk about this anyway. He didn't reply for months and I just went through the motions of school. Then Columbine happened. I was on school break so I didn't know what happened until a few days later. But it shook me to the core, the fact that the kids who did it were severely bullied themselves shook me up even more. The same thing that happened to my brother was the same thing that happened to them, the only difference was that my brother didn't kill anyone nor kill himself. I went back to school and a few days into the week a call went over the speakers that the Vice Principal was needed in the office NOW!!! I heard a lot of shouting and chaos going on in the background and even the teacher made fun of the way that the call was presented. I never really thought much about it until the next day when I was at lunch and the Vice Principal was standing behind me with his arms crossed and constantly asking if I was okay. It was a little freaky and very funny to watch actually as it was the only attention he's ever given me outside of his office. A week later, I got the letter from the state representative's secretary in the mail. She wrote to me telling me that the representative was glad I wrote to him and that with these times they'd call the school themselves and deal with it. I was thrilled and stunned at the same time as I read it and burst into tears. I realized what the call over the intercom was at that point a few days ago. The bullying ended and I managed to get through school okay with no real problems, especially since it spread around quickly that I wrote the letter to the representative. I can't really comment on the other girl who got physically assaulted and it took three teachers to separate them as I wasn't there when they were handed their suspensions, but i know the girl was upset and the parents were taking legal action against the bully and the school. I do try to talk about it as often as possible in hopes that others would find some way to find help. Especially outside of the schools influence, but it's hard for me to write about especially my junior year. I hope it helps. Edit: I didn't see the quote. Apologies. I still want to keep the post up if it helps someone.
Let me try to explain how this instability worked. I was not euphoric all the time. Most of the time I was angry but kept it bottled up inside. I'd then get depressed because I let myself get worked up at something some stupid kid said. And then I'd just let it all go and I felt great. It was the event where I had a mental breakdown in the principle's office that was the proverbial last straw. I had been telling my parents about my bullies for years and they were not happy. My Mom threatened to take legal action if nothing was done. And that's about the only way to make schools do anything about bullying is to make threats. I started seeing therapists and taking mood stabilizers my junior year of high school. The first one put me in a fog, the second one put me on cloud nine where I was just...happy all the time, but the third one was great. Once I graduated high school and went to college, it was like a whole different ball game. Because the people there didn't care about bullying. And it was wonderful. And now I'm not suicidal. Because when I held my Niece for the first time, I made her a promise that I would be there for her. She's my angel. When I have the thoughts, I think of her and what I'd miss.
I am very accepting of suicidal thoughts as I too believe them to be natural, I doubt there are many who have NEVER felt them. What I mean is from a loved one's perspective, I dislike it when people say "Suicide is selfish" as yes it's only to help themselves and will hurt so many but they should be much more understanding of that person as they must be going through hell to even consider it. Sometimes it's selfish to want to keep them alive when they want to die as they're living in hell (this refers more to euthanasia though) but it's still something that should be empathised with. Suicide should never be the answer, they aren't searching for answers but they are searching for something to stop the hurt and if that is death then alright but their view of the world would have been distorted (not in a negative way, all views are somehow distorted and bias) and their desire for death is coupled with the idea that nothing could make life any better, there is just no point and that should never be the case, there should always be hope. I believe there to be in my optimistic mind. Suicide is still considered a sin but it's more accepted now then back then, it's more understood, that is what I meant. I hope being supportive of people who are depressed and suicidal doesn't make them feel worthless, I think condemning them for their thoughts is a horrible thing to do, in fact possibly the worst thing you can say to them because that makes them feel worthless and probably more likely to rebel against the person who condemned them.
