This is a story I wrote for Creative Writing, I know there are a LOT of faults, mainly being the dialogue and unecessary descriptions. However, I quite like the idea around the story itself, which is why I'm posting it. And yes, It's a long read. *IT IS ALL FICTIONAL* From My Head To My Hands “Don’t worry, honey.” Day is feeling nervous, like he always does when meeting new people. He knew that he was going to share a room with this guy for two years. All he knew about him was that his name was John and that he is transferring from another school. Day doesn’t really like people that much, but he unfortunately didn’t get a one-person single room. He sat alone, in the same spot he’s been sitting in for an hour already just thinking about whom the hell he can expect to meet. “It’s been a while.” The door finally opens. Day can’t believe his eyes. “Is it really you?” he asks. “What do you mean me?” John asks, his face covered by a box full of recording equipment. John puts down the box and looks at Day when he suddenly realizes; “Holy ****! Day, is that you?” “Hell yeah dude, it’s me.” They both realized that the world is small, just like everyone told them it was. Day and John are both overjoyed about being each other’s room-mate. They talk for several hours about what they have done and what they are planning to do. Nothing remarkable has happened while they were apart, John says sincerely while Day says the same, but lies about it. “Man, it’s been too long” John says. “Yeah man. Wanna go grab something to eat?” “I just gotta set up base first, wanna give me a hand?” “Sure bro.” After helping John get all his belongings in place, they head out to eat. “Where you wanna go?” Day said. “Well, I’m not very familiar with this place, so how ‘bout you choose the best place you know, I just want something cold though, not hot food.” “Alright, I know the perfect place.” They walk to the other side of the campus, a fifteen minute walk. “Check it out John, best place to eat lunch ever!” John orders a baguette with ham and cheese while Day gets a roast beef sandwich. When Day and John sit down at a table, they see Iren and Jen are sitting there. They had both ordered the same; Latté with Hazelnut extract and two scoops of ice cream, one liquorish and one fruit flavored. The latté is quickly consumed. The ice cream, however, is being thoroughly enjoyed and only eaten in the brief pauses in their conversation. Day finds Iren very attractive. She has long brown hair and green eyes. She’s wearing a low-cut dark grey sweater with a black singlet underneath, her jeans are black and tight. The jeans are plain except for a rift on her left thigh revealing only a little bit of tan skin. Day doesn’t think Jen is as attractive. She has blonde hair, but not nearly as pretty as Iren’s. Jen’s hair is long and straight. She’s wearing a strange gray scarf with some type of pattern in it. It’s ugly. She is wearing a shirt with many colors forming squares. Red, green, white, blue, purple and yellow. Her jeans are blue and loose stopped only by a pair of black leather boots. The girls just finished their ice cream. Iren seems to be the talkative one, while Jen is the receiver. “Did you see the show Death Note I told you about?” Iren asked enthusiastically. “I was going to, but my boyfriend and I were going to catch a movie, so I had to go, like, 10 minutes into the first episode,” she replied with indifference in her voice. “Well, you should see it, it’s really good.” Iren uses a lot of body language when she speaks. “What are you doing?” Iren spots Day and smiles at him. “Dude, that girl is totally checking you out!” John said enthusiastically. “I know, she always does,” Day replied with lack of enthusiasm. Day and John continued talking, and Day told him about his past girlfriend he had three years ago; the girl who suddenly disappeared, without a message, note or anything. He also explained how he wasn’t over her yet. However, John convinced Day that he had nothing to lose, and might as well go over to the girls and ask Iren out. “No!” Day goes over to Iren and Jen. “Hey, what’s up?” Day said, sounding strangely confident, even though he’s supposedly shy. “Hi there,” Iren replied with a beautiful smile. “Alright, I might seem a little forward, but I just have to tell you, I think you’re very beautiful and I was wondering if you’d like to go grab a cup of coffee or something to bite someday.” John sits at the other table speechless. Iren sits equally surprised but is able to mumble out “s- sure.” “Great, here is my number, let me know when it works for you.” Day says and goes back to John. “How the hell did you do that?” John asked. “I just did what you told me to, nothing else.” “I thought you were shy though, what happened?” “I don’t know, I just went with it.” “Don’t do that!” Two days pass before Day receives a phone call from Iren. They decide to meet at 6 P.M. to get some dinner. Day doesn’t really know what to wear, but he decides to go with his normal look; He wears a grey hoodie under a black shirt, with black jeans and with his black hair ruffed up with bangs parted to the left. Iren doesn’t live on campus so Day decides to drive to pick her up, even though it’s a nice evening. “Alright John, I’m going to pick up Iren now, see ya later.” “Alright Day, have fun! Let me know how it was, leave no details out.” “Dumbass” Day said, smiling, as he closed the door. “Where are you going, honey?” “Hey Day, how are you?” Iren said, opening the door. She was wearing a beautiful black and white dress that seemed to be taken right off the red carpet. It was a little loose and just went down to her knees. Her tan shoulders were exposed and her picturesque, pale face lit up the porch along with her long, curly brown hair, with her bangs parted to the right covering her right eye. “I’m great Iren. How are you? You look beautiful.” “Thanks Day, I couldn’t be happier, at least now that you are here, and I must say, you don’t like too bad either!” “He-he, thanks” Day said, sincerely. They decide to go to The Inn; an expensive but great restaurant an hour away. When Day and Iren get to the restaurant, they are shown to a table in the middle of the room. Day asks if they can get a table next to a wall instead; Day doesn’t like not having his back against a wall. The waiter seems confused, but shows them to another table. Day orders Kobe Beef while Iren orders a Caesar Salad. Day remembers that Caesar salad was what his ex used to order. They both enjoy their meal, but Iren can’t help but notice how Day is watching over his shoulders every now and then, even with his back against the wall. “Relax, Day, your back is against the wall, no one’s behind you.” She says smoothly. “Oh, yeah, I know, sorry.” Day replies. Iren asks Day if he wants to do something after they leave the restaurant. Day seems distant but replies that he would, but he doesn’t know what. Iren says she wants to take a drive somewhere, which Day agrees to, still distant. At 11 P.M they walk to the car. “Where should we g –” Iren is interrupted by a kiss from Day. Iren is caught by surprise, but is suddenly filled with joy; the boy she has had a crush on for a year is finally kissing her. From being tense, her body suddenly loosens up, releasing an entire month worth of tension. After a minute their lips break apart. “You were saying?” Day says, sounding rather unaffected by what just happened. “Never mind that, let’s go back to my place, my parents are out of town.” Iren says, unlike Day, sounding hypnotized by what just happened. “Sounds good” Day replies, getting into the car. When they get to Iren’s house, she grabs Days hand and nearly drags him up the walkway to the house. Iren swiftly unlocks the door and after they both are inside she locks it just as fast, only to kiss Day passionately. It all happened so quickly Day is struggling to follow what’s going on. His feet instinctively follow Iren into her parents’ bedroom. She’s already half-naked and Day is wondering how the hell he managed to do that, but he doesn’t care, because in front of him is the most beautiful creature he has ever seen. It seems that Iren is embarrassed, her face is a little red when she tells him not just to stand there and stare, but to join her. Once again they kiss, passionate as ever while undressing each other. Day seems to be nervous, but not because of Iren, he feels he is being watched. He suddenly becomes distant again, but is snapped out of it when he realizes both him and Iren are naked. The next day, when Day wakes up he turns to his side and realizes Iren is not there. He checks his watch and sees that it’s already 1P.M. “You’re finally up?” Iren walks into the room wearing Day’s hoodie. “Have you been up for long?” Day answers, confused. “I didn’t sleep… I figured that there was no need seeing as we… um, were up until 7A.M anyway.” Day is baffled, he had no idea they kept going for that long. He can’t remember anything after 2A.M. Iren bends down to kiss Day, hopefully wondering if he considers them to be a couple when Day says he has to go; he has plans with John today. Iren is disappointed, but asks him when they are going to see each other again. “Soon,” Day says with a voice that would scare most people, but Iren is far too happy to even notice it. “MISTAKE!” On his way back Day is becoming more and more anxious due to the fact that he can’t remember anything from the night before. He didn’t have plans with John, but he had to get away. He had a similar dream again. It reminded him of the one he had three years ago, before the night it all happened. “The voice is there again, it’s not the same though. It changed. The voice changed. It’s not the same voice! That night. We did the same thing then. Three years ago. The same thing happened. No, it can’t be! I didn’t do it. It was the man. The man did that to me. He did it! It’s not my fault! What he did to me, it’s not my fault! She disappeared, I didn’t do it! I’m telling you, I didn’t do it!” “CHEATER!” When Day gets back to his dorm room, John is doing homework. “Day, are you just coming home? Ha-ha, my man! How was it?” John asked curiously. “That’s none of your ****ing Business!” Day shouted angrily at him. “Whoa dude, that was uncalled for.” John replied, petrified from the sudden mood change in Day. “No, I’m sorry man, I just feel sick. I’ll tell you all about it later, alright?” Day heartily apologized. “Sounds good, get some rest.” When Day finally managed to get his body into his bed he felt a sudden rage boiling within. He fought it with all his willpower, because he didn’t know where it came from, but he knew who to blame. After Day moved away from Washington to Boston, he changed schools and lost his friend, John. However , this was where he became the man he is today. He started learning several instruments, guitar, violin, piano and drums. His teacher’s name was Michael. This man changed Day’s life. Michael’s love for music and the instruments he played was something Day had never seen, but he was unfortunately intrigued by it. Learning to play instruments at school was not enough for Day, so he asked Michael for private lessons. Michael happily agreed to this, but for all the wrong reasons. Day was 13 years old when he started playing and 14 when the terror started. Michael was a talented musician but he did more than teach Day how to play instruments, he was also molesting him. Day was only 14 years old and so intrigued by Michael’s talent he was blind to what was really going on. As Day grew older, and the molestation grew into physical abuse as well, he started having night terrors. He would wake up, screaming, in the middle of the night. At the age of 16, Day started working out. At the age of 17, after three years of sexual abuse, and two years of physical abuse, he was finally strong enough to stop Michael. He didn’t only stop him, he destroyed him. He was capable of doing things not even Jack the Ripper could come up with. Michael’s body was never found, so people thought he simply disappeared. After this, Day carried a voice inside his head that would shout at him, it wasn’t just any voice; it was the voice of Michael. During these years, from the age of 13 to 17, Day had a girlfriend. Her name was Konstantine and she was what kept Day alive. Because of the sexual abuse Day went through, he was never really interested in sex, however, he loved Konstantine of all his heart and when she was ready, he wanted to make her happy. The summer of 2009, after Michael was gone, Konstantine decided she was ready to make love. Day agreed to make her happy, but he did not enjoy it. After they made love, Day woke up at noon the following day, and didn’t understand anything, he was outside. When Day looked at his hands, they were covered in blood. He didn’t know where the blood came from; the last thing he remembered was Konstantine and him inside the house. After Day cleaned his hands, he went to visit Konstantine, but she had disappeared, no message, no note, nothing. After this day, the only thing Day could do was to forget, but he didn’t forget, he suppressed everything, but it was still in his subconscious. The voice of Michael had finally disappeared; the only thing that remained was the voice of Konstantine, echoing in his mind. Day can still hear Konstantine’s voice, she usually tells him how much she cares and loves him still, but lately she has changed her mood. She keeps on asking him where he’s going, not to do things and so forth. “Day, why did you do it? Am I not enough for you? You’re a cheater! You know what you have to do Day, you have to get rid of her, we’ll live together forever – I’m still here. They won’t even miss her at all. Why do you treat her differently? Don’t you love me? Day? Day?! Listen to me, honey, you know what you have to do. Please, do it for me. I’ll repay you." Day wakes up from his dream. He doesn’t know where he is, he’s outside, at campus somewhere. He looks at his hands and he realizes they’re crimson. When he finally comes to his senses, he goes down to the river and washes off his hands and head back to his dorm room. “Hey John, sorry about yesterday, you know, I was tired” Day said when he came in the door “No worries man, I get cranky when I’m sick too. But how was the date? Judging from when you came back you got lucky.” John said enthusiastically waiting for an answer. “Well, you know John, when I do what I do, I do it well” Day said, smiling. “Hell yeah man, that’s how it’s done!” John went over to Day and high-fived him. “So when are you gonna see her again?” “I don’t know, we’ll see.” “It’s over, honey” The next day, Day was looking for Iren but couldn’t find her, so he decided to call her. No one picked up the phone. Day thought she might be sick or something, so he decided to let her call him instead, he left a voicemail. A week passed and no Iren was to be found, so Day decided to check out her house. When he finally got there and knocked on the door, a man answered. “Yes, who are you?” he said. “I’m Day, a friend of Iren. I have noticed she hasn’t been to school for a week and I wanted to see how she’s doing.” Day replied, being as polite as possible. “I’m sorry; we haven’t seen her for a week either. We have called the police and everything. She was home alone last weekend and well… she has simply disappeared.”
Ohhhhh.... I like it. Its nicely written,and the subject is very strong... Gives a nice kinda plot twist halfway through,but the only thing I can see wrong with it is that everythings kinda jumbled together,and rather quickley written(well thats the best way I can think of describing it). Also,the whole part where Michael is introduced in is confusing to read,as you keep switching from past tense to present and back again. But overall,it was a very interesting read,and I hope you write more storys and share them with us <3
Dude this is creepy. And a bit tragic. Otherwise it's pretty well written, though just like my problem, the sentences seem a bit choppy.
Thanks Daxa, I'm aware of some of the issues, unfortunately I haven't had motivation to rewrite it. It is indeed creepy FKB, and as mentioned, haven't re-written it. I might, but I doubt it.