Idea came from a dream I had and a song, then some stuff that has happened in my life... anyway, this is only a short part to see if people like it. If you do, I'll post more when I've wrote it. This is the story of Rose Starr, a guardian Angel in training. Enjoy. Standing on top of the skyscraper as the rain and wind rushed down to Earth, I looked down at the masses of people. "Can you see them yet?" A soft male voice asked from beside me, "Your Victims?" I shook my head, I couldn't see them and I also couldn't understand what he was on about. All I knew was that I was on top of a skyscraper in the evening in a storm while wearing nothing but skinny jeans and a vest. I could also feel my wings poking out beside my shoulderblades. "They're white." The boy said referring to my wings. I looked down again, "How will I know?" I whispered. "You'll see their L.R coming from them." My head whipped around, "I'm sorry but what is their L.R?" "Light Radience." He said, smiling a little underneath his soaked long brown hair that was half covering his blue eyes, he was also shirtless and only wearing a pair of jeans. His long cream wings fell past his waist. "But how will I know?" I asked. "Look down." He instructed me taking my hand. I looked down and saw a golden shimmering light radiating from a small group of people. "I see it!" I whispered excitedly then I came crashing down, "But...it's all around a group of people." "It happens. Point 'em out, I'll fly down and take a look." He shot a smirk at me. "Alex... won't they notice a guy with wings swooping down beside them?" "No." "Oh, really?" I asked somewhat sarcastically. Alex smiled and put a hand on my shoulder, "No way. You're the only one that can see me." I watched as my guardian Angel, Alexander, swooped down towards my Victims to see who they were. That was another thing I didn't understand, why were they called Victims? Alex is a guardian Angel, not a Dark Angel. Guardians guard people, not hurt them or put them in any danger. I'm also a Guardian (in training, that is), so I know what I need to do, apart from the exception of not getting killed with me. I'm still fully alive. Which means people can fully see me, they just can't see my wings. Yeah, Angel wings are invisible, even Dark Angel wings. So are Halos, not that I know of any Angels who have Halos. Alex flew back to me and looked straight into my eyes, "Your Victims...are also your friends. You have to save them, or just make them happy. Think you can do it Rose?" "Yeah. I hope so." I smiled back at him, "Catch you later, bro." "Yeah right. I'm takin' off now."
I was a bit dubious to begin because the story was slow to start, but I've decided I quite like the storyline so far. Watch your punctuation, though- if the first part of the dialogue ends with a period, exclamation mark or question mark, the next part must start with a capital letter following a period. Sorry if that sounded confusing >> Read your sentences aloud, you're missing a few vital commas etc. Good work overall though, especially with spelling.
Part Two I watched him fly back to Fayth, the city where Angels live. Turning around, I exited the skyscraper roof the way I'd gotten onto it, through the building itself. As I walked down the steps leading to the building's front entrance I tried to think of who my Victims could be, I really hoped that it wasn't Kumiko Harrell. She and I were no longer best friends on account of how super competitive she was. In fact, now I didn't even think she liked me anyway. I made my way out of the building and into a crowd of people on the street; I looked across the road and saw my friend's L.Rs shimmering around them. I ran across the road, almost getting hit by a car, and made my way over to them, sliding to a halt next to Cordelia Haze. Cordelia was my maybe best friend who could always make me laugh; she was also a bit mental and sometimes a bit too mature for her own good. She had mid-length raven hair that was set in spiky layers and was wearing a skinny white Queen t-shirt, skinny jeans and boots. I looked around at my other friends, their Light Radiance was all jumbled together to make a golden shimmering mist around them, making them all appear a thousand times more beautiful than normal. I shook my wet hair out of my eyes, "Hey guys." I muttered looking around. Sabryna Evans smiled at me and returned my "hey", John Channing just nodded at me; Natsuko George (Japanese transfer student, crazy about boys) smiled and stepped closer to John. Cordelia flashed a brief smirk in my direction and then turned to the group. "What are we going to do then?" She asked. Natsuko sighed, blowing some of her (dyed) blonde hair away from her face, "We were going to go to the cinema, remember?" She laughed, looking up into John's face. John stepped away from her; his face was set in a way that once you knew him, you'd know it meant that he was thinking. I couldn't say anything to him; I couldn't ask how he was because he'd just block me out as soon as I tried to help. That was his problem with me, I was always trying to 'fix' him. Sometimes, I wished that I could just live on Fayth with Alexander and his angelic friends. On Fayth, nothing could hurt me. It was then I heard it. "When the rain falls, it's like Heaven's cryin'... you're wrong about that by the way... make life...worth living..." Alexander's voice in my mind, whispering advice. He does that sometimes, in fact, he does that too much. "Uh, I think I have some money..." I said, digging into my pocket. I was right; I had just enough to see a movie. Natsuko glared at me, "Well we were going to see Touch of Beauty." She hissed at me. "I'm only going to the cinema if we can watch Transformers." Cordelia said, putting her point across sharply as usual. "Sounds cool." I said, looking at Cordelia. John just made some sort of noise and nodded. Sabryna nodded too. "Fine." Natsuko spat, "We'll go and see Transformers. God! It's such a boy's film!” Sabryna, Cordelia and I laughed at her before we all made our way over to the cinema. After the film we were all sitting in the McDonald’s across the road, talking about everything. We eventually got onto the topic of how sensitive we all were. “Well, I don’t know, I guess it depends with me. I never cry at movies, no matter how sad… but other things put me on the verge of tears, sometimes.” Cordelia smiled as she helped herself to another French fry. “Oh my God, I’m super sensitive, puppies make me cry!” Natsuko announced gleefully picking sesame seeds of her burger bun. “No you don’t.” Sabryna answered, “You cry at soppy movies like Titanic and then say you wish a guy was there to hold you.” “Well…I’m a sensitive person.” I said, chewing thoughtfully on a French fry. “Oh, shut up.” Cordelia laughed, “We know how sensitive you are, you cried when Optimus died.” “Oh, thanks!” I answered back, laughing a little. “I’m kind of sensitive,” John said, “I think a lot.” Natsuko giggled, I rolled my eyes. “John, that is an understatement, you’re always thinking,” “And what’s wrong with that?” he asked. “Nothing!” I laughed, “Anyway guys, I have to go now.” I walked out and to my house alone with only my iPod to keep me company. I unlocked the door and walked up to my room, as soon as I went to sit on my bed, I screamed. Someone was already sitting on it, eating a bag of chips. “Alex!” I gasped, clutching my heart. “Oh, hey there, want a chip?” Alex asked, smiling at me from my bed. I noticed he had a t-shirt on now. “No, I’m good thanks. What is it?” I asked, coldly. “What?! Can’t I just visit you?” Alex laughed. “Alex, everytime you’ve visited me, it was always to bring bad news. Even when I was happy, you came and said that you were proud of me and happy for me but you still told me to hold onto it while it lasted!” I blinked back the tears in my eyes, “It turned out not to last long, but I still tried to enjoy every single precious moment and then you came again and told me to keep smiling. That’s how I knew that my time was at an end.” I felt Alex’s arms come around my waist holding me tightly, his head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry… I was only trying to be… good enough.” “Good enough for what?” I asked, shocked that he was crying too.
