This thread is inspired from the dream I had about a week ago. I was dreaming of the most ideal girl: great personality, super funny, a little shy, etc etc. It was actually one of those instances where I knew it was a dream, but couldn't really control it. Not like lucid dreaming, but in the back of my mind I knew it was a dream. So anyway, I finally build up the courage to ask her out then get friendzoned so hard that I wake up. This made me sad for the entire day because my ideal, in my dreams, just friendzoned me to the point of waking up. like how. why. I told my friend about this, and she said that the friendzone doesn't actually exist (she's a girl) which I didn't really understand. Can anybody elaborate on this? Any interesting instances of getting friendzoned?
Of course it does, it's just not what most people think it is. There comes a point in every platonic relationship where it would be unhealthy to pursue a romance. You don't get "put in" the friend zone by another person, you get there together. It's a good thing if you can be mature about it and realize that it can be just as fulfilling as a romantic relationship.
There are moments where people are legitimately friend zoned. However, such instances are the exception rather than the rule. Thing is, most heartbroken people (be they male or female; it isn't exclusive to guys) will construe any moment spent with the person they were pursuing a romance with, as having been something conveying romantic interest from both parties. The person in the "friend zone" has his/her judgement clouded by an often overemotional response.
The friendzone doesn't exist. The men who use the phrase just laughably can't figure out the woman might not find them attractive. It's a two way street. I'm sure you've never thought about it like this but lemme show you how selfish it is: you worked up the courage to ask her out because you find her attractive and when she doesn't feel the same, you try to make it her problem It's pretty disgusting watching people play out these mental jumps just so they can be blame free.[DOUBLEPOST=1392314829][/DOUBLEPOST] THANK YOU.
The friendzone is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe in it, you're just gonna come out thinking it's some inherent, huge problem for you. Our relationships with other people are nebulous, they're ever-changing and you can't really predict where they're gonna go. It does suck to be rejected, and you are allowed and expected to feel bad about it. But the concept of the friendzone turns this temporary bad feeling into a much bigger issue than it really is at its core. Just try to avoid placing the idea of a relationship above the idea of friendship, and you should do all right. It's easier said than done if you've been conditioned to accept the friendzone as an issue of course, but it's all part of growing up. :b Ehhh, I think it's more of a symptom of patriarchy/kyriarchy (w/e people want to call it) in general. Not something that men didn't have a hand in, but also not something that was exclusively their creation either.
I really don't think that the friend zone is as terrible a concept as you guys make it out to be. And I'm saying this as someone who does NOT support people using the term often. I have experienced moments where the friend zone is the most accurate term for what happened between myself and the friend I was falling for. I didn't expect her to come back to me after I fell into my rut, nor did I really want that after what occurred, but I did feel like she had led me on: we were going on (what were essentially) dates (just us two seeing movie and getting dinner and hanging out at a park.) If my own experience doesn't count as friend zone, I don't know what more would have to have happened to qualify as that. All that being said, I do believe that the friend zone exists, for men and women both, but the stories I've heard of being friend zoned? It rarely matches in my opinion.
The term friendzone has just sorta been appropriated by the lazy. The concept of the friendzone, which can exist for a man or woman, is when you get to be in a very close relationship, where it would be weird to pursue a romantic relationship, because they've become something that would be weird NOT being 'just' a friend. The cliche would be "I love you, like a brother" or "You're one of the girls" and I guess inkeeping with the stereotype that ll guys are super horny and can't turn down sex, it's far less common seeing the reverse with genders, but I've seen it happen. I've seen it with friends who are gay as well. Not everybody is compatible, and sometimes there are people that are just better being kept as friends
This. I got friend-zoned (surprising, I know) by this one girl who turned down my romantic advances because she doesn't want a relationship right now, but then I realized that just chilling with her and being her friend was pretty cool too. Maybe because I like having something pretty to look at when I'm talking. Maybe because I sort of fantasize in the back of my head that maybe one day we'll be together. Most likely because I genuinely enjoyed her company. And I mean, can you really blame anyone for getting bitter about the friend-zone? Rejection is such a huge hit to the ego, after all. To think that someone can take such a huge rejection and instantly be ok with it is a bit naive. Getting over it and seeing the value of just being friends takes a lot of maturity and emotional strength. EDIT: OH WAIT, now I remember what else I wanted to say in here. Perhaps if we were all open about our intentions from the get go, then perhaps we can let go of this idea of the friend-zone. Hence why every time I first meet a girl that I'm interested in (after a brief convo), I always say something along the lines of "I think you're cute, and I'd like to get to know you better. Can I get your number?" to illustrate that I'm interested in her, make sure that there's no misunderstanding, and make sure I'm not "wasting my time."
