I've been paranoid about being left by friends for almost as long as I can remember, my ex-best friend from years back used to break friends with me almost every week and make me feel like it was my fault, and yeah, you could say I may have some scars, but now most of my friends are leaving for university and I won't be able to see them and it's really eating at me. What if they find new friends? What if I get replaced by these new friends? What if they just forget all about me? What then? The two main ones I'm concerned about are my friends Liz and Sean (had to change that name), Liz is going to London to study and Sean is going to a university on the other side of the country. Now, these two are the only way I actually have a social life. They are also two of the best people I have the luck to know and I love them. They've helped me through a lot, to me, their leaving is like my family leaving (they're practically my brother and sister). I do have one friend who's not going to uni, but she doesn't really come out much... So it's not like I can just hang out with her. Don't get me wrong, she's great and all, but she isn't one of those people that can just get up and go at a moments notice. Now, am I just letting my paranoia take hold of me? Should I tell them how I feel, even though I'll break down crying? And does anyone else here have the same problem, or had it in the past?
Yes, I've had similar problems with this. The best thing you should do is tell them how you feel, and remember they may not have complete control of the situation, and no matter what happens enjoy your time with them. Even if friends are across the sea, or around the block, it doesn't matter because you are in each others hearts.
I say tell them. It takes great courage for someone to tell someone how they feel, whether it be a boy or girl they like, or something like this. You're not a baby, even if you break down crying. As a matter of fact, they'll appreciate you being honest with them. I hope this helps.
I'm in a similar situation actually. x___x My plan so far was to just hang out with them as much as you can while they're still around. They've got some time left before leaving for uni, so you should spend it having last hurrahs and such in person. Also, I doubt that they would just cast you aside like that. I'm afraid of it to, but you can always contact via Facebook/MSN/email/etc. Remind them that you are there, which I don't think that would be a problem considering you are all like siblings. And I agree with Amaury, juts tell them how you feel about them leaving. Chances are they feel the same way about leaving you. I know it sucks, this change and all, but you can still reach them. Even if they do make new friends, you never stopped being their friend, either.
Being paranoid about them getting new friends would be... to put it very bluntly, dumb. Because of course they are going to get new friends, they are going to a university. However, does it mean you will lose them? Nop. You could tell them what you feel to an extent, but don't tell them that you don't want them to leave, because you're afraid of losing them, because even though it is something you really wish for, it is somewhat selfish. I've felt a similar way myself (though not exactly the same), but this is what they want to do, so who are you to make them doubt? (The former statement is only valid if this actually happens to be the case) There is nothing wrong about wanting them to stay, but if you are so close that they would choose to stay behind just to be with you, I would not tell them. I mean, they are your friends, right? Just because something happened before, with your ex-bestfriend, doesn't mean it'll happen now. I just moved from Norway to the US, and I know that when I get back, I'll still be friends with my old friends back home. Why? Because, we're friends. I fail to see that you have anything to worry about :) Keep in mind though, they might have less time to talk to you, as Uni is not easy.
It's alright Axel, my thought is you are just being very paranoid but it can be expected naturally- usually when we get feelings like this it's because we have had unfaithful friendships in the past, like the one you said who made you feel like it was your fault. From that you subconciously learnt not to rely on friendships as they could make you fall on your ass again, it's a way of not getting your hopes up to preserve your happiness. If you are as close to Sean and Liz as you say you are then you should have nothing to worry about, just keep in contact with them, they won't forget you and then when they come home you can go out with them and spend time with them. Sure, they will make new friends but I don't think they'll replace you, a good friend would stick by you. Are you not gonig to a College or somewhere where you can meet new people as well?
I've basically had this problem my whole life. It's not my friends moving, it's me. I've moved so much I've never been able to stay in one place for long. I've lost so many friends that way. I just started to keep to myself, I guess subconciously not wanting to lose anymore friends. But eh, even now when I do have friends it doesn't hurt much when I leave. I've just gotten too used to it. But really, you should just try to stay in contact as much as you can, see if they can call you every now and then, keep together online or something. It might also help to go out and meet new people. It might sound harsh, but it keeps you from being lonely
