Chapter 1: Tim sat in his desk at the corner of the classroom. Ms. Turner sat at her desk occasionally looking at Tim. Tim began reading his journal. ---------------------------------------October 3rd, 1999----------------------------------------- "Cole will pay, I can't believe he told I took the money from the counter. He was the one who took the money and framed me. When I get out of detention he will get whats coming to him." Tim stopped reading. "Okay detention is over, better come back tomorrow or you will get more detention." Ms. Turner said eying Tim. "What!" blurted Tim. "Tim sit down!" Ms. Turner shouted across the room. "What." I asked again. "Tim you need to control you temper and you need to stop taking what is not yours." said Ms. Turner. "What do you care?" asked Tim. "Tim I want you to have a good life." said Ms. Turner. "You have never cared no one cared, my father beats me to a pulp, and my mother is a fat *****!" shouted Tim as he walked out of the room. Tim walked outside the school. "Hey you *******!" yelled Tim as he shoved Cole's head into the asphalt. Tim kept hitting him over and over until he began to bleed out his face. Then Tim kicked him where the sun don't shine, directly between the legs. Tim took a pencil and shoved it in one of Cole's eyes. "My eye!" exclaimed Cole. A police officer ran out of the school and hand cuffed Tim. "You ******* I'll get you one day Cole!" yelled Tim as he was put in the police car. "Mister and Misses Matthews My name is Adam Brewster, I have to tell you that your son has been put in a detention center, he has severely injured a boy named Cole." said Adam. "Cole has always been Tim's friend, what happed." asked Tim's Mother. "Sorry but Tim will be put on trial and tried as an adult, he may be locked away for a long time." said Adam. "Thats not like him." said Tim's Mother. "What the hell is with you cops, get off my property!" shouted Tim's Father. "What did you just?" asked Adam. "I said, get off my property!" announced Tim's Father. "Sir quiet down or I will arrest you." warned the officer. "On what charges?" asked Tim's father. "Anyway Misses Matthews your son will be in court on the twenty third." said Adam, as he got in his car. Tim sat in the corner of his cell. "Dammit Cole, first you lie about the money then you get me into prison. I sere one day I will kill you." said Tim. "Shove a cork in it!" yelled a boy in the other corner of the cell. "Why don't you." replied Tim. "Alright you two break it up. Someone wants to see you Tim." said the guard. The guard took Tim to the window. "Son why did you do that to Cole?" asked a tall odd looking man. "He said I stole money, he got me in detention, and he will pay!" yelled Tim, as the guards cuffed him and took him back to his cell. "Well did you have a good time?" asked the other prison mate. "Since when do you care." replied Tim. The prison guard walked down the hall. "Alright its time to breakout." said his inmate. "Breakout, you crazy?" asked Tim. His inmate said no more as he took the knife to Tim's head. "Alright everyone get on the ground or he gets it!" demanded the young man. "Son put the knife down." replied the guard. "No, open the door." the young man demanded again. The guard opened the door. "Now get on the ground!" yelled the young man. The young man bent over to get the gun. Tim thought a second, then he jumped the young man and shoved him into the cell and locked the door. "Are you okay officer?" asked Tim. "I'm gonna be okay." said the guard, as his eyes closed. "get on the ground!" yelled a officer coming torward Tim. "Its okay I tried to help him." said Tim, as the officer knocked Tim over and hand cuffed him. "Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?" asked the belief. "I do." replied Tim. "Did you or did you not pile drive Cole's head into the pavement?" asked the prosecutor. "I did, and Im sorry." replied Tim. "And did you or did you not shove a pencil in Cole's eye?" asked the prosecutor. "I did." replied Tim. "Now Tim it also says her that Cole was your friend, was he your friend?" asked the judge. "Ya ya ya ya yes." replied Tim. "Why did you hurt him?" asked the judge. "I hurt him because he lied and said I stole money, but I'm sorry." said Tim.
Interesting story, I saw a few spelling errors but nothing to big, overall it looks good to me. I noticed it kinda skipped time in between chapters, that could throw people off a bit.
