Well, I think this started more with the way I've been performing at my workplace. I'm a party assistant that has to help set up a room, serve food, and then clean afterwards. The thing is they only give me 30 minutes to clean and set up for the next party. Even though I've been working there for a while, I still tend to go over the time limit and most of the time I have to cut corners because I'd much rather not take too much time and holding everyone up. Our system is very time sensitive and if someone messes up it makes a domino effect. I've been feeling stressed out lately because sometimes I would have to leave without finishing a certain task or I take too long to do it and the manager gets picky about it and sometimes signs me out at the time I was supposed to finish instead of when I actually do. There was one time where someone else had to finish my task because I left early since my mom had an emergency to deal with and a supervisor pulled me aside and talked to me calmly about how it's my responsibility to do my stuff and that if I went on like that in another job doing the same thing it wouldn't be enough, etc. etc. But I keep thinking...it's practically impossible to do everything perfect and well done in 30 minutes....I think that if they extended it to 45, I would never go over and the room would be spotless. I feel like I don't have the voice of reason to mention this to my boss and co-workers even though the co-workers think the same thing...I just feel like its just me who's bringing everyone down and causing a deficit of some sort (probably not true, but still) This is one part of it, but the other is with everyday life...although its not as immediate as the workplace part... Why can't...someone just accept my saying...and not question it or let go over their head like I said nothing. I feel like I have no power with people older than me....sometimes even younger! I just want acceptance. I want...I NEED someone to just...invest as much as I have to them and to others because i want to feel fulfilled...happy...satisfied... Basically what I'm saying is...i need a partner in crime, lol (seriously though, I'm tired of feeling alone even when surrounded by a bunch of people everyday... =/)
Honey, I work in retail! I know EXACTLY how you feel. :glomp: Just cause you don't meet the deadlines like everyone wants you to and you feel like you're not good enough, keep this in mind: You're still a human being. You can't be super man or super woman no matter how hard you try. There's many times where I think my voice isn't heard at my work. For example, I told them I couldn't work on Sundays because of religious and family obligations. What did they do? Arranged my work schedule so I worked on Sundays because I filled out my electonic schedule as such. Got it arrange to where I have every Sunday off, but it took WEEKS before they finally listened to me. It always feels like I mess up at work. There's so much you have to memorize to check customers out, and they want you to be speedy, but then some customers hate it when you go fast and chuck things at your face (happened to me, ooooh), and then there's some that want you to stuff their bags, and others who say to put one item in each bag because they had surgery, there's coupons that don't work and customers scream at me even though I calmly tell them they can't combine two together, cards don't work and they blame the machine and even me even though they spent a lot of money elsewhere before they came, managers get on my back because I did a check wrong, etc. Through all this chaos, I learned one thing: Be persistent to make yourself be heard. Don't be afraid to keep bothering your manager if you feel that an extra 15 minutes will help everyone out. Say, "It'll help customers be satisfied with the room, and I/we can meet up to your expectations of a clean, spotless, organized room." If they won't listen, keep pushing it. Have your other workers also talk to the manager, and they'll have to listen. Otherwise, there's the threat that you might quit and others might quit because their expectations are unreasonable. And hey! There's other jobs out there, you don't have to stay in this working environment forever you know. Don't be afraid that you'll make them mad or feel like your opinion of reason doesn't matter. Cause it does. This world just sucks, so it's going to twist what you say and how you should do things. If you don't want anyone to question you, don't listen to them. You are you. You know what's best for you. And if you make mistakes, hey! We're humans. It's part of growing up and learning. Otherwise we be like robots. If you need someone to talk to, you can always PM me and others on this site. I can assure you that there will be people who will hear you out. Stay tough. :glomp:
As Rainbow Dash said, you're not super women and can't do a great job in just 30 minutes. They can't ignore you, you're still part of the team. If there is a hope, there is a way. If you all can't clean perfectly in 30 minutes, ask them to ask together with you for more 15-10 minutes, then you all can promise make the place the best! Keep saying, they can't ignore you, this is wrong.
I can relate to this alot. Ever since starting work, I have felt left out from conversations and interactions because of situations like all of them being more experienced in the work place, almost all being at least 15 years my elder, all of them being women, all of them being married/have a partner, all have had kids some of whom are close to my age. I can't get talking about things like that, it makes me feel isolated at times, like I want to have a 'partner in crime' to talk about at work. And when stress hits you want to talk to someone about it, and feel the comfort they give. The want of an emotional connection. I can totally relate to that feeling. The only tihng Isuggest is just to try being more sociable, talk with friends more, go out and meet new people, make some conections, have fun. Hell, i've been getting into loads of extra activities, like making online commentries, playing some games, joining an archery club, etc. There's always something to distract your mind off of things and relax because of it. You've jsut got to do what makes you feel best. That's bull. Where I work, if we've got an emergency, or someone needs work covered, we do it. Usually from what i've seen it's not much but to say the least we chip in and do what we can. You can only do what you are able to do. You are not holding anyone back, believe it. My god, that's what I think of loads of times... How can I be lonely around so many people? It just happens, that you don't connect with them the way you want to connect with one particular person, and it's so tough to not think aobut at times. Having pretty much never had a significant relationship that hasn't been more than friends it makes the situation worse. Seriously, the one thing you are defiantly not alone in is having the same thoughts and feelings other people have. I on so many levels can sympathise.
Thank you, Peace (or Kam Sage) for the input... I want to try to say something the next time we have a meeting. Hopefully it won't be too long a wait. Ugh, I'm gonna be working like 7 hrs on Saturday ;__;
