Fear of being judged?

Ok, im not putting this in HWL because although i have it, i want to put this up for discussion.

Do you think its a common fear? Do you think its a rational fear? Should it even be considered a fear?

I think that in todays society it takes a shitload of confidence to not have a fear of being judged, so i think it is common, but how important it is depends on the person. I also think its rational, as i think its pretty natural to be afraid of what people think of you.

I have this, but like i said everyone does to an extent, and for different reasons. I believe it links with paranoia and anxiety, so yes i definitely have it.

Do you think you have this fear?
Last question: if the fear of being judged is so common, does that mean that we has humans can never be completely personally satisfied with who we are?

I would very much like your general comments on this :)

 

i do think that it is a pretty common fear, i think it's something that most people deal with everyday. i also think it's the reason a lot of people seem to have a phobia of eating alone (which could also be explained by just wanting company by the way). not sure if it's a rational fear though.

and yes, i do have this fear, i try not to let it get out of hand though.

as for the last question, i think there are quite a lot of people who are comfortable in their own skin, and some people who are TOO comfortable in it. so i don't think that this fear prevents being from being satisfied with themselves.

 

I think it's a quite common and rational fear. Most people would rather not become one of society's pariahs--deep within us, I think, is an intense desire to be included and accepted. Of course there are always exceptions to this, people who live on the outskirts and are happy to do so, but even they, I think, want some kind of company at times. There's nothing wrong with wanting to belong; it's dreadful being around people you don't feel truly understand you, or wouldn't accept you based on what you do or say or wear. Even the counter-culture cliques and groups have their pressures to conform and fit in.

What you've got to do is find a way to not let this fear paralyze you. I mean, it can have its positive side effects (though none are coming to mind, hah), but allowing it to stop you from pursuing something you care about or being who you feel you are is not alright. Many people do.

Personally, I do indeed. I'm not really an... enthusiastic person, if you know me in real life, partially due to just my natural temperament, but also because I never want people to look at me and be all "oh, she's so silly, what's wrong with her etc." I suppose it does stop the crazy from leaking out at times, but it's not too fun to want to be outlandish at times and feel that pressure to contain yourself and be "normal." What really matters, as I said, is not allowing this to stop you from being who you are, but also to find people that you belong with unconditionally.

 

Of course it's a common and rational fear. It's only natural to want to be accepted.
Though I've noticed (with myself and with a few other people), either as you get older or when you're actually judged openly by someone, the fear seems to slowly ease out. You get less and less afraid of being judged and start being yourself. The fear never really goes away completely, obviously, but you worry about it less and less.

As to your last question, pretty much what Machina said. We should want to improve. Though I think we shouldn't obsess over it constantly, we should be happy about ourselves, but still want to improve. I hope that makes sense.

 

It's natural to be afraid of being judged. We never want to portray ourselves poorly or look bad in front of others since it makes us feel inadequate in comparison to society and everything else. As Machina stated, it's good to have that fear sometimes to keep us in check. Misty also states an important truth that you have to find a way to not let this fear paralyze you.

As long as you interact with people; friends; strangers; communities and society, you will be judged by someone whether you like it or not. There are some opinions that you should care about and there are some where you just shouldn't give a damn. The alternative is being a recluse or a hermit which, may I add, is not fun at all.

 

It is a common fear, yes. I can see why too. Society is always judged for different things. It can get out of control at times. Although I somewhat worry, it would be better if we didn't have this fear, because sometimes it can change the way someone acts.

As far as your last question, I think humans will never be satisfied with who they are. This stems from society and how things change daily. Everyone wants to be someone or something. It becomes stressful and scary.

 

Ya'know, fear of being judged keeps people from being themselves at school, or at work, yadda yadda yadda. I never let on how completely obsessed with Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Harry Potter, Psych, or Doctor Who I actually am whenever I talk to people I know personally, because 'what if they find out I'm a total nerd?!'

However, I find it easier to go on and on and on about all of these things on the internet. Or with people I don't truly consider 'best friends.' Do other people do that too, I wonder? I mean, is it easier to be yourself over the internet where even more people have a chance to judge you, even though they don't know you? Or maybe its because they don't know you, you're not afraid to be yourself? I don't know, maybe that's just me.

 

Good point.
With me, I tend to be a little more talkative on here (and by a little I mean heaps) and I can be myself around here. I found that with me it has to do with reactions: whether or not you can see them and how much you care about them. See, in a social situation you can see the other person, and you can make judgements on their facial expressions, body language, etc. Here, you can't see, you just type whatever the hell you feel like and see what happens next. I may more or less be paranoid or overly observant but thats what I find. The only thing that rattles me up on here is when I see a reply to a thread I've posted, because I don't know what it will say until I've clicked on the thread and I don't know whether or not it will be a positive or negative reaction. That may just be me though :)

 

And that's a usual experience on the internet, you're in a more understanding atmosphere and everyone here is kind of "this is what I like, if you have a problem with that then go to another website." The anonymity of it works well there; if ever you did something truly shameful or embarrassing, you can go to another website with a new name and be a new person.

But I also think it's just about finding yourself and coming out of your shell a bit, too. For people like us who have been going on the internet since we were young, it starts on the internet, and eventually (I hope) translates to real life.

 

from my personal beliefs and experiences with this i believe everyone - even the most confident person - always cares what people thinks of him/her. no one can ever be truly rid of it because someone will always care what a certain person thinks of them. such as a husband cares about what his wife thinks of him because he wants to be a good husband or a father cares about how his kid feels about him because he wants to be a good dad. either a person worries because they lack in confidence or they worry because they really care about that certain person.

 

Yeah it's my biggest fear

 

In this day and age, especially when you're going to school, it's a completely legitimate fear. A lot of people worry about that. It's really sad that we, as a society, can't grow up and stop judging people based on how they look. I myself, personally have no fear of what people think. It's not confidence, so much as it is I've been through so much crap I put up a wall that let's me not even worry about it. So basically I don't care what people think. Looking back if I let it get to me every time, I probably wouldn't have gotten through high school as easy. I feel bad for everyone who takes that stuff to heart, because it weighs on you like a ton.