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LARiA · Nov 12, 2011

Brainstorming methods in which to troll the site, I thought of resorting to my old tactics, poorly written Sonic the Hedgehog fanfics. Grew quickly bored with that. Thought of dabbling in something new, namely crossover fanfics. Thought of Sonic still. Thought of Twilight. Thought of how I could possibly screw those two together... then I thought, very suddenly, that "Bella" sounded like the name of a mangy old mutt. Then, this happened...

Sonic's Pet chapter 1 said:

Sonic held Bella close. She let out a barely audible whine, muffled against Sonic's coat of fur. He closed his eyes, smiled sweetly. Bella was his, his. And only his. Who else could be hers, who else could prove themselves competition? There was Edward. The ratty and rather batty man across the street, and not even, for he was but a boy. Ratty in that he smelt of blood, always, and rather batty in that he was, and it was of no question, terminally insane. His father would admit to that much. The spastic [Edward] carried about him, quite questioningly, the faintest scent of tinge of blood. No one could account for the ******, Sonic thought, as he stroked Bella's fur. And with that, it was not much of a hassle even, for Sonic to convince the boy's father to hand over the dog. The dog had gotten along so well with Sonic, that when the blue-eyed, cross-eyed boy had mistreated her, and the father had had the last straw, it was of no question to whom the dog would be given up to. To Sonic, who would lay out bits of bacon when the boy had forgotten to feed her; to Sonic, who would softly stroke her well into sleep; to Sonic, who would love her forevermore.

The Cullen boy might have loved her, in his own spastic of ways—but he was a human boy, a human! Humans and animals couldn't possibly mix, couldn't possibly mate! Couldn't coincide! Only a ****** such as that boy would think so, thought Sonic, as he drifted off to sleep with his pet's collar clasped firmly between his fingers…
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A universe in which Bella is a mutt, Sonic's romantic interest is of the canine variety, and Edward is some mentally handicapped kid (incapable of taking care of Bella, who is handed over to Sonic) who thinks he's a vampire. Oh, and he's romantically interested into beasts. Bestiality. Yup.

Dear There are currently 4 users browsing this thread., please stop reading this. I have far too much time on my hands.

reptar · Nov 13, 2011

trolling is something 12 year olds think is cool.

Makaze · Nov 13, 2011

Reptar :D said: ↑

trolling is something 12 year olds think is cool.
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She is thirteen.

Loxare · Nov 13, 2011

Ohhh. One of my friends reads lemons ~~among other things~~ on that site.

burnitup · Nov 13, 2011

Personally I think you could do better.

MadDoctorMaddie · Nov 13, 2011

Loxare said: ↑

Ohhh. One of my friends reads lemons ~~among other things~~ on that site.
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I do that too :=D: Occasionally you find actually good stories. Especially if the pairing is borderline crack 8D

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LARiA Twilight Town Denizen

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