I have a problem in my life... All my friends are in relationships ATM and I just had a go at one of them today... The story is basicly since all my friends are in relationships I always come second which I understand the GF is a bit more important and everything. But it isn't one of my friends it's all of them all putting me second. I only see one of my friends during school time whic is most of my time and he has a girlfriend. Everyday its the same thing he will talk to me when she is in lesson and we have a free period but during break and lunch I sit twidling my thumbs doing and saying nothing while his kisses and hugs her for the whole hour. It's the same after school my friends only talk to me on days they're not with their GFs and if I ask to see them its all ways only if the GF doesn't want to see them, I feel like my whole social life revolves round everyone elses social life.... Whats should I do? Am I just being selfish and should just grow up and stop conplaining?
I don't think you're being selfish at all. If you get along well with these people and enjoy spending time with them, it's natural you'd be a bit put out when they are (more or less) ignoring you. The thing is though, they might not really realize that they're doing it. While I'm sure that they like you and all, they've placed their girlfriends before you. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not okay of them to abandon you like that. I think the most you can do is just try to reach out to them--schedule time to spend together. Do it in advance so that they won't be with their girlfriends at that time. If you think it's necessary, calmly confront them about it. And if things don't change, well, it may be time to start looking for new friends. And remember too that High School relationships usually don't last long, imo you've got a better shot of keeping touch with these kids after graduation than they have of staying with these girls.
Dunno what you should do,but i'm fairly sure you're not being all that selfish. It happens with alot of relationships. To some people in relationships,ONLY that person and their GF/BF matters, which is good for them but extremely annoying for everyone else around them. It happened with two people that sat at the group i currently sit with at lunch at school. Ever since they've been going out,they sit there and ignore us. My solution was simply "screw them if they want to be alone so much,LET them be alone", and i now ignore them and am no longer friends with them. Potentially not the best idea lol EDIT: I agree with Misty lol
You could take another option, and experiment with relationships yourself. If your friends are doing so, then it's an opportunity for you to do the same. EIther way, as high school relationships are highly unstable, you can look forward to a fair few break ups in your social circle, which, if you're the vengeful type, could make waiting for them completely worth it. But that's a fairly negative viewpoint to take, isn't it? Another thing to remember is that as there's stuff that they can only do with girlfriends, there's stuff that they can only do with their normal friends. I am loathe to horribly stereotype, but, for example, it's possible that their girlfriends dislike playing video games, while you regularly play with them. In that case, they're more likely to hang out with you if you offer video games, because as it stands, in their eyes, hanging out with girlfriend > hanging out with you, because the former is a new experience and hormones demand that they prioritise the girl over you. However if you have something else going for you (e.g. video games), then they may prioritise you sometimes.
P is right, but if you don't feel like a serious relationship right now, try considering a platonic relationship with a girl. In my experience, girls, usually being more sentimental than guys, put strong friendships above romances that will likely end. They're smart like that. Besides, it can't be good for you if all your friends are guys like you're making it seem.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with your friends. There's also nothing wrong with your friends wanting to spend time with their boyfriends/girlfriends. However, it seems like they're at a stage in life where they're not looking for a serious relationship or for something like marriage or actual love. That can lead to a problem, because one person may see this as only a fun fling while someone else gets attached to that other. Spending time with your significant other is perfectly fine, but you should tell them that it wouldn't kill them to spend a little time away from each other. If they get too attached someone may get hurt in the end. You should warn them of this, even if they just think you're upset at them. In the end, it'll prove to them that you really care about them.
thanks for the help everyone but by the answers I think I must of left abit of infomation out: These relationships all last about 2 years each and this current one is the longest I think its going to last with them, I am the only one who belives they are ignoring me and I'm both gay and shy about relatonships so getting into my own relationship is going to be impossible ATM
Well if you're gay, then my advice could probably still work very well for you, especially because you're very unlikely to actually fall in love. Just keep in mind that you can be friends with a girl without having a romantic relationship with her.
I meant with her. And it seems like you don't really want to fall in love right now anyway, right? Sorry if I'm making things worse, I'm not used to helping deal with issues like this.
I think you shouldn't try and push yourself into a relationship at the moment. I've seen a lot of couples that shouldn't belong together all because of wanting to be in a relationship. To me, being in a relationship simply because you want to say you're in a relatioship is kind of shallow and redundent. With those kinds of relationships, it's usually an atraction on looks rather than who the person is, making it almost impossible for love to sprout. And yes, you being gay is an issue for you to try and find someone that you like. My best advice is to hold off on wanting to be in a relationship simply because you want that status, enjoy life, make new friends, and wait for the special person.
lol this has all made me feel better but just to let everyone one know we're not fighting over this girl at all.... but all your opinions have helped me
What the others have mentioned are winners. Like high school relationships are pretty unstable, but really all can be. No one can cookie cut a relationship to go the way they want to - and that isn't just for the romantic, girlfriend/boyfriend kind of relationship only. Even for friends. I understand things can be hard for you but try this. Talk to your friends on how all of this just makes you feel, kind of just like you've said it here. I mean, the best way is to just talk it out. It could end this way and that for a moment but just give it time, you and your buds seem like the real deal - true friends, so I'm sure everything will come around great for you. Just let them know, it could make you feel better inside too. Also as for trying out relationships, remember that this is an option. You really don't have to try it out unless you want to. If you're really unsure, I suggest you don't. Find a really good, amazing friend and take it from there (just because I believe in the fairy tales of best friends turn out to be partners kind of thing). Just always keep in mind, make yourself happy. Please yourself. 'Cause then, nothing will go wrong with a smile on your face c:
