Ew D:

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Ashwa <3, Oct 15, 2008.

  1. Ashwa <3 Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2007
    73
    661
    So, this is just a little something I was thinking of today. It's not finished, I'm stuck and I've no idea where to go from it. It's kinda choppy and off, so feedback would greatly help :3


    Walking down the hallways,
    focus and concentration elsewhere.
    Thoughts swirling around you;
    where could you be?

    Staring at the screen,
    only way to talk
    to my favorite person.

    Your sweet, seducing words
    can only be read.
    Never enjoyed to the
    full extent for effect.


    That's all I've got for now D:
     
  2. Chevalier Crystal Princess

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2008
    Location:
    Trapped on an Island
    552
    the curse of meeting BF's on the interwebz, eh?

    its choppy, but if you can continue it....
     
  3. TacoGrenade King's Apprentice

    31
    411
    It's not so bad. It has some potential if you can get some inspiration so as to branch out from the original few lines.