*All edits were made by Cat. Without her, this would be utterly awful XD. But seriously, Thanks Cat! Chapter 1: The Time of Ten Rico was a strange 16 year old boy. He dreamed of going on adventures and leaving London. One day, as he was sitting, playing a video game, he looked out the window and saw a blue police box materializing. "A police box," he said. "Those things haven't been around since at least the 1960's." He found it interesting that it was materializing too. He wanted to know more, so Rico paused his game and went outside. Upon getting outside, Rico saw that the police box had completely materialized. He reached to open it, but it opened before he even touched it. He stepped back, and a man in a brown suit and a brown overcoat stepped out. "Hello." he said. "Um... Hi," Rico said. There was an awkward silence for a couple of minutes, then Rico finally spoke. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but who are you?" "I'm the Doctor." "Well, we have a lot of doctors." "That's my name." "Your name is the Doctor?" "Yes." "Then why are you in a police box? Those things haven't been around since at least 1963." "It's a time machine." "Time machines don't exist." The Doctor looked at Rico. "Come inside." Rico followed him into the police box, unsure that they would fit. When they got inside, it looked... different. "It's bigger on the inside!" Rico said. "Yes indeed," the Doctor said. "You see, it's like another dimension. It's called the TARDIS which stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space." "Wow..." Rico said. "Um... Do you think that, maybe, I could come with you?" The Doctor looked at the young man, surprised. "Whatever for?" "My life sucks! My parents are barely home, and when they are it's like I don't even exist." The Doctor pondered this. "Alright then. I was just about to go pick up Rose Tyler. She's… a friend of mine." Rico looked at him. "I'll be right back. I have to get my stuff." He ran to his room and quickly packed as many clothes as he could. He pulled on his leather jacket and went back to the Doctor. "Ready." he said. "Good. Now you're sure no one will miss you?" the Doctor asked. He thought maybe Rico was acting rashly. Didn't he have any friends that would miss him at all? "Maybe just Cat..." Rico said. Stupid! How could he forget about Cat? She was his best friend and ever since she'd moved here from the States, they'd always been there for each other. She was a bit quiet, almost reserved but still curious and intelligent, though her short temper could make it hard to get through to her sometimes. "Well let's go say goodbye to her then." He closed the doors to the TARDIS and fired the engines. It was much faster than walking over there, despite the fact that it was only three blocks away. Cat was listening to music when the doorbell rang. "Who is it?" she said, a bit irritated. She opened the door to see Rico standing there. "Oh, hey Rico. What's up?" Rico looked at his friend. "Um... There's no easy way to say this but... I'm going away and may never return." Cat stared at him, almost in disbelief. "You're joking..." "No," Rico said. Then he explained everything, why he wanted to leave and who he was going with. As strange as his story seemed, Cat believed him. "Well, in that case, I'll just have to come with you," she said with a smile. Rico blinked and asked the Doctor if this was fine. He nodded and Rico told her to pack her stuff. A few minutes later, they were off in the TARDIS, ready for adventure.
[I don't personally like the Doctor, Its nothing against you I just don't. But since your a good friend I read this.I just wanted to say that before posting, also I've never seen the doctor, so my Reviewing your story may seem a little harsh, But I dunno how **** went down in/on the show, So I don't have much to go by except my judgement.I'm also, As you know, a cynical *******. So expect that. I'll be keeping up with this story, assuming you'll keep writing, perhaps I'll actually get to like the show.Moving on.] I don't have much to say about this post, since its only your first and there's not much to talk about since no characters have really been seen much of, But I realize perhaps Rico may not like his life, but it seems as if though it comes to easily to him, To just leave. He also accepts the concept of the TARDIS (Is it?) quite easily, Maybe from this you can gather hes gullible and rash (as the doctor thought). This also may be due to the factor that you may just wanna get this thread/ story started as quickly as possible. Another observation, You seem to use the phrase "He said" quite a bit. You might wanna mix it up a bit. Like if you wanna amplify something, Y'know? An example is, If I was to say (Haha, get it?) be involved in an RP and have a character who was trapped in an instance and post: " Red was trapped. Brown dust and wooden walls surrounded him. His hands were tied to a post behind his back, His eyes covered with a thick black blindfold. He opened his mouth but words could not escape. His voice was hoarse as he filled the room with skepticism 'Hello? Is anybody out there?!'" Not a very good post, but I'm not the one telling a story, right? If instead I had said "He said." 1)It wouldn't make much sense putting it before, I'd have to put it after wards. 2)You wouldn't gather much at all. Saying (Lord, That is a habit.) what I did, Revealed that he didn't know where he was or what to do. Saying (Okay, This is Getting ridiculous) "He said" would mean that he either knew what was going on and was expecting something, or he didn't really care. Its okay to use "He said" ,Just not so many times in a clump, yes? I liked Cats character, also. Just to show I do like somethings. I'm not posting this because I'm trying to insult you in any way, Just because I want you to improve. Your my friend and if I were to say "Great! Good job!" You wouldn't ever improve at all. It was good for a first chapter/post, seeing as you didn't have anything to go by. The beginning is ALWAYS the hardest. I trust you will improve. Can't wait to see how you do next <3333 "All of the top achievers I know are life-long learners... Looking for new skills, insights, and ideas. If they're not learning, they're not growing... not moving toward excellence." -Denis Waitly
"claps" well done. Love it, can't wait for chapter 2 quick question you going to include Jack? I'm writing my own dr.who story as well.
