on some level you don't actually feel sad or disappointed or anything and that part of you is just faking it because it makes you feel special to play the victim? Today I feel like that because my first reaction to receiving one particular gift that I was really only half disappointed in was to make note of it in a humorous way, then assure the gift giver that it's okay and all it means is that I have a new series to start collecting rather than a new addition to the series that I was looking to continue and no, really, I don't want the receipt so I can exchange it I really do like it it's just that I wanted the 3rd and 4th volumes of the spin-off series rather than the original but really it's fine and like you said it was the store clerk who led you to the wrong item so it's not even your fault so you shouldn't be sorry about anything and look I'm sorry I said anything just forget about that and let me be thankful already. Basically, I feel disappointed about something that I'm not actually disappointed about and that makes me think that maybe I only feel disappointed because deep down I want to feel like I was wronged in order to justify I don't even know what. Is that a thing that other people get too?
no but you know those relatives that you just dont want to see and you kinda feel like a horrible person for not wanting to see them? i'm seeing them tomorrow and saturday. its not like i dont like them and all its just it's such a headache because theres always so much insanity surrounding them like cousins my age getting engaged and stuff and it's like 20 people and especially in 2014 i just want to go to sleep and wake up next year.
Hmm ... I think I understand what you're talking about. I have a similar thing about making people happy. I only do it because it makes me happy because I made them happy. It's a self gratification that I can't help but fulfill when the chance arises. It's not exactly the same thing as what you're talking about but it's similar in a psychological sense. You're doing something, not because you want to but because it's an ends to a means ... I think. The human psyche is a fickle thing and it's easily confused. You might not be confused but your mind is in the sense that there you feel no reason to be disappointed but you do. I only took a semester of psychology in high school so I wouldn't take my word on any of this. I just wanted to say that there are people out there with similar issues such as this and to let you know you're not alone. ~Nights
