Ever since my first near death experience from getting hit by a truck on August 8th, 2008 (or what I like to call "888"), being heart broken to the core to my being, cheated and lied to by the person who I thought loved me, and almost committing suicide a year later, I feel like I cant express my emotions, be happy, or at least smile like I used too before high school. Im a Senior in high school now and all of that happen in my first year of high school. I suddenly lost interest in every thing and isolate myself from everyone because of that. If someone were to die in front of me I wouldn't think of it not even if its a family member. A friend of mine said "Go (insert 18+ related topic here) with someone! Thats how you can really be happy!", I disagree with him. I cant find myself happy or feel anything anymore. When I think I have a crush on someone it usually ends up me being unlucky. There was one time where I met my perfect match but a 10 age difference (hes 10 years older then me and yes Im also a guy) made me say "F it all! Let me die now!". That is pretty much my problem. I cant be happy no matter what and I wouldn't care if someone died in front of me which is why I suspect I have a cold heart. EDIT: In my case Im just like Roxas a Nobody.
You have actually answered your own question. You do care. The way you have phrased this thread makes it seem like you care, if you have a cold heart. If you care about it, and don't want it, then I think you do not have a cold heart. And I think you would care if someone died in front of you, it's a pretty horrible sight.
My goodness, that is a lot for a young man to burden their shoulders. But as Noroz said, it does seem like you care, or you wouldn't have posted this. As for that "friend" that gave you that "advise", I'm glad you didn't listen to him, because to me he sounds like an imbecile. For the love issue. I too have fallen, pretty hard recently. Right now it seems that no one is out there, and that leaves people looking for love in all the wrong places. But you mustn't give up hope. One day, that person that fits your needs and requirements will enter your life, you just have to keep your eyes open. A lot of people feel like a nobody. It just takes the right push from friends and family to show you that you are a somebody. I hope this helps. But if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to VM/PM. I'm always open in helping people the best I can.
Someone shared a link with me of real leaked pictures of trashed people that didn't make me flinch or look away from the screen or even throw up (meaning dead people in car accidents looking like blobs of clay and I refuse to say the name of the site and definitely refuse share a link of the site with anyone because its a horrible site). Yeah, it was a hard time for me. Im over most of that stuff by now. Somethings are still keeping me from being happy.
So? You didn't know them. There are a lot of people who don't react like that to seeing car crash victims. My point is this; no one forced you to post this. You posted this because you care. If you had a cold heart, you wouldn't care about anything. Hence, you have somewhat proven yourself wrong. I'm not saying that you don't act coldly in some cases, but do you have a cold heart? No.
Well, to be honest: Once you are scared, the wound never completely goes away. What you need to do is find that one thing that keeps you smiling. For me, and my friends may be surprised, but it's my mother. Recently is seems she constantly on my back about stuff, but I know it's because she cares. All my life she's been fighting for my education, my well being, and basically my existence. I'm happy I am who I am because of her. She is the reason I keep smiling, even though I feel they are fake ones. I also have a similar story, and have been seeing a psychologist for help. I really do hope it helps me to go forward. And I hope you find something to keep you going to.
That is true, talking with parents does help but in my case I cant for religious reasons for the most part. I do remember of going to a psychologist myself a year ago but it didn't end well.
Hmm. I can't help you in your religion area, but as for the psychologist thing, I'm sorry that it ended badly for you, but that doesn't make them all bad. You just need to find someone you can open up to. If you feel uncomfortable around them, then it clearly won't work out. You just have to keep looking that's all.
Your actually the only one that makes the most sense out of this. And yeah, the religion stuff is kinda hard depending what it is.
Oh absolutely. I'm walking with the same problem. Well not exactly the same. I can't be you, and my problems may be close to yours, but I can not fully tell the way to think and feel in this situation. Like the religion for instance. I was born christian, but growing up I've taken more to the Hindu styles and beliefs. My dad and few of my friends aren't happy about it, but they accept me for who I am, so religion is not a wall for me. And yes,depending on what your beliefs are, can lighten or enhance the magnitude of a situation. Now, I won't ask about your religion, because I feel that is a personal thing, and fully up to you if you wish to discuss it.
No, you don't have a cold heart. It's just been wounded so many times you feel you must lock it away in order to avoid it being hurt again. What I think you should do is try to make yourself feel again. It will be painful I'm not going to lie but keep trying and you'll get better I swear. I see things without the hindrance of religion and see things as they are. You'll get better just keep trying.
