Depression - I can't decide what I should d ino college and my future?

Depression - I can't decide what I should do in college and my future?

I feel like I'm at a serious breaking point right now. Next month I will be entering my second year of college and I have not decided what I should major in. I want to have a job that I will enjoy and that has a good salary but I just cannot figure out what my passions are. To be honest the only things that I have ever felt passion for is the Sonic and Kingdom Hearts franchise, and anime. I am very narrow-minded and cannot think about the real world even though my parents have always told me that I need to get my head out of Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, and anime, they seem to be the only things that make me happy. Though I do have a dream of either making Sonic and Kingdom Hearts games, or creating my own original video game, book, or anime series to life to bring joy to people around the world just as Sonic and Kingdom Hearts have done for me, but I don't know how I would pursue that dream. I suppose I could major in Creative Writing and just write stories that may one day get published and become best sellers, but the odds of that happening are slim to none.

Well on the bright side, I finished my first year of college with a high GPA and have been accepted into the honors program but I'm behind in math which worries me because most of the best paying majors require good mathematical skills. During my first year in college, I've come to realize that my writing skills a far greater than my math skills, but I can't see myself being successful if all I know how to do is write, and judging by the research I have done, people with creative writing degrees usually do not receive jobs with good wages.

I've also come to realize that my social skills aren't progressing. College is the time where people should learn to come out of their comfort zone and socialize, but I haven't been doing much of that honestly since I commute to school instead of living in the dorms and often have my head shoved in books rather than speaking to people. I don't see any light in the dark path that I am heading in. Now that I am on my own as a college student, I don't know where I should go or what I should do. The stress and worry is slowly starting to destroy me and I've come to the point where I do not want to see or speak to anyone. I just want to left alone in the comfort of my home, but as soon as school starts, I'm going to have to face my problems and make a decision that will determine the rest of my life. I honestly wish I could just dive into the world of Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, or anime, but that's obviously an impossibility. I've been thinking about maybe studying abroad in Japan since that's where anime and most video games originate from and to help me get out of my shell, but I feel pretty worried since that would be a huge step for me since I've never even lived away from home outside of my neighborhood yet, let alone in a foreign country.

I believe that at the end of the day, the source of all my problems comes down to the fact that throughout my entire life, I haven't been thinking about the real world and have just been lost in either video games or anime. But as of lately, I've come to despise the real world with all of its racism, wars, segregation, unjust laws, and overall selfishness and have been looking towards Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, and anime as a way of escape, and now I've realized that I have been destroying my growth and am now 18 years old with the mind of a 13 year-old.

Has anyone else felt depressed and confused because they didn't know what they wanted to major in college? How did you decide what your purpose is on this planet and decide what to major in? I want to find something that I will be happy working in and that I can say "This is what I am meant to do." Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thank you. :)

 

I don't plan on going to college.

However, I say go with what your heart tells you to do, as well as just taking the path that's laid out right in front of you.

 

Well, I'm going to start off saying that I am not in college yet (about to enter Senior year of High School), but I have thought about it a lot.

First of all, congrats on the GPA and honor acceptances. c:

To be honest, I've heard that people really don't expect you to know what you want to major in, even at this point for you. I have a few college friends, and some of them have changed their majors a few times and don't really even know what major they want yet. All in all, I suggest you do something you would like to do. There are programs for Video Game Design, so why don't you try that out? This may just be my inner hippie leaking out, but college is a time of discovering what you like, and maybe even love, and having fun paving your life your way.

Also, being a Creative Writing major won't just lead you to writing stories. You could be an editor for a publishing company, a journalist, etc. If anything, maybe you would do best going after a degree in English. I'm not brilliant in Math either, and I know Video Game Design has math involved a lot in it, so doing what you're best at and like (writing), will make you happy. You could become an editor, journalist, teacher - lots of different paths with an English degree.

I'd suggest joining a few clubs that follow with your interests - heck, maybe even start up your own club. An anime club, for instance. You like anime, and there will be other people there at your college who do. If you find other people who share in your interests, you'll be able to form friendships with them that will help you gradually come out of your shell. And then these same people may want to go abroad to Japan as well, so you'll have familiar friendly faces to be with you while you're there.

Or even then, just try to talk to some other people. Get your voice heard. Up until about September of last year I was the same way, but when I started making my interests known, started talking whenever a conversation was around me, I was able to befriend people who liked what I liked, we hit it off, and I became more outspoken in a way. Personally I would suggest the anime club first, because I know talking to strangers just out of the blue like that is a *****.

And yeah, this was/recently growing back into me too. You have to realize though, that you can't just plug yourself out of the real world forever. You have to use your escapes to benefit yourself. Talk to people who also like these things; get to know them. It's a hard process at first, but once you start it won't end. You just have to believe in yourself; the world ends at the borders you're going to set. If you tell yourself that you are confident, and that you do want to do things with your life, you're getting yourself ready to make your life something that you want.

Also, sorry if this sounds a bit all over the place. :'D

 

Had a HUGE wtie up about all this, but my PC crashed so I'll condense it for you.

Broaden your horizons.
I know reality kinda sucks, video games and animu are an easy and sure way to escape reality and it's dumbass flaws. But you have to get out, the more you stay coped up inside the worse your social skills will get. Eventually interacting with people will become an unbearable task, which it should not be. Not telling you to go out and party hard, but try and meet people who share similar interest with you. Yes they exist, you just have to go out and find them.
All in all you just have to find other things that you enjoy other then video games and anime. I love the vidya and animu, probably more then anyone on this site. But if that's all you do then eventually you will be completely incapable of getting out of your box.
You'll meet tons of people, people who you may hate at first, people who generally will just annoy you.
But you have to recognize imperfections, see them for what they are and try to work around them. Don't run away from them or they will remain imperfections.

Once you broaden your horizons, then things come much easier.
What do you love to do? Writing? I assume your good at English then. In that case why not consider law?
Law not creative enough? Maybe you're goot at drawing in which case you can do a little animation(Though that requires a pretty high average here in Canada)
Or better yet, just try and get better at math. I know it's tedious, I ****ing hate math, but you have to at least try; no need to be super perfect at it, but just enough to open some doors. Basic Academic level math got me a job as a Coder, I'm technically a qualified Software Engineer.


There is simply SO much to do, look hard and research but remain practical. Just remember to broaden your horizons and you will be able to look at the bright side of life more often.


Also don't move to Japan. Moving is a good way to create a new world for yourself but don't go to Japan. At least not for those reasons, the Japanese are xenophobic people who do not take lightly to gajin scum such as myself. And anime and video games are just as socially unacceptable and awkward in Japan as they are here.
If you have a plan for Japan then by all means go, but don't just go because "HUUR DUUR VIDYA GAEMS AND ANIMU! THEY UNDERSTAND MEEEEE!"

 

Hey dude, I know where you are coming from. I'm also going into my second year of college, and although I'm living on campus, I feel a lot of the same emotions as you right now. It's a big, scary world out there, and bladdy blah, you've already heard all of these things from the people that responded before me :P

Don't feel ashamed by your love for certain series, rather, understand that they are part of what makes you you. You're not immature for liking these series; matter of fact, it's alright to get by day to day looking forward to a series all day. Do the work that is required of you, associate with friends and family for a bit too, but set aside some time for just yourself. I like to think of what makes me happy, and apply that to my daily life as much as possible. For all intents and purposes, I'll use Harry Potter as my example.

I listen to the Harry Potter podcast mugglecast every day in the car when I'm driving on my long commutes, and I'll tell you this, I now actually LOOK FORWARD to driving in my car every day. This brightens up my day a WHOLE lot more, and gives me the assurance that there are other people out there that enjoy a series as much as I do. So maybe a Sonic or Kingdom Hearts podcast would be a good start of something to listen to in the car rides to your college every day ^_^

I've met a lot of great people through similar interests, and since then, the "big scary world" doesn't seem so scary anymore. For instance, I went to a band camp two summers ago, and there stroke up a conversation with a girl who was hold a Harry Potter music book. Two years have passed, and we're now best friends, who have the best of times just reading the Harry Potter books out loud and talking about them in depth with each other.

I know that you may be thinking to yourself that I just really lucky, or that I was really brave to talk to a complete stranger, and really, I understand what you may be thinking. The reassuring thing is that when you are around someone that you don't know, they may be feeling the SAME exact ways that you described; awkward, shy, unsure of themselves.

Somewhere that I'd suggest for you to start up a conversation with someone with similar interests to you is in your school's commuter lounge. Most schools have them, and serve the exact purpose you're looking for: a way for people to get to know each other although they don't live on campus. You already have in common that you are both living at home and drive to school each day. That's a great way to start up a conversation with someone too: something about the commute, the weather, anything local (they must live pretty close, after all; they may have even gone to a high school close to your's!).

If you wanted to, you could set up your books on a couch and attempt to do some homework (they are usually noisy places :P) and just wait for someone that looks nice (with or without someone else) and strike up a conversation with them. The worst that can happen is that you end up introducing yourself, they shake hands and introduce themselves to you, and you never talk again. Try and try again! You'll eventually get to know people this way, and you will begin to see some familiar faces around campus.


Now, as for choosing a major: you're doing perfectly fine =] If your grades are high, and you made the honors program, then you have literally nothing to worry about! If you have even a slight interest, like in writing creative short stories, then do yourself a small favor and take a class in it either this (if it's not too late) or next semester. If you find you like it enough to pursue a career in it, I would HIGHLY suggest looking into Journalism. Personally, I hate local news channels and the newspaper for their sensationalism and "doom and gloom"; however, I also recently decided to become a Journalism major. The thing is, I'm planning on going into a field of Journalism that I know I'll LOVE: movies, t.v. shows, games, ect.! I would ideally love to be a movie critic, but I'd easily settle for anything in the entertainment field. I realized that I could take my love for English (I'm HORRIBLE at math too, and really excel in my writing skills over it) and do something that I could look forward to doing every day.


I know that this is a lot to think about, but doing some Journalism/Creative Writing classes will really put you in the right track for where you want to be =] And also, finding people with similar interests or situations to you will make every day a little bit brighter. College is a very rough track, but you can smooth it out with the *cues cheesy 80's music* the power of love; for your newfound friends, and for you future career! :D

 

Thank you everybody for your kind thoughts. I'm still taking it easy and am trying to decide on the right path for myself. I'm gonna give Math a try this upcoming semester and see where that leads me. I succeed, I'll try to explore a little in the sciences. If I don't do well, then I try to explore more in writing until I truly know what I want to do in life. As for my social skills, I going on a field trip tomorrow with one of my campus clubs to check out a graduate school and hang out at the beach. I feel a little nervous since this will be the first time I've done anything with them but I figured, I'll never grow out of my shell if I don't try anything new. Thanks again everybody, wish me luck for tomorrow. :)