Cutting

Alright, I have always had this infatuation with cutting; however, some of my associates do that and i don't feel i have the right to judge anyone, especially b/c I've been struggled with this same thing before. Cutting used to be a bub part of my life up until lats year, i haven't done it since, nor do i ever plan to ever again. However, not many people are as strong-minded as me or able to cope how i do.

What are your views on cutting? Do you have any stories to share?

 

Cutting is an escapist coping mechanism for extreme emotional pain. It induces a weakened version of the fight or flight response, taking our minds off of all other pain and making us focus on the here and now.

People who do it to escape emotional pain are emotionally weak and do not want to face their problems head on or feel incapable of doing so. They would probably go to drugs to deal with problems if they could not cut.

There is no point in judging them. If you think you can help them in another way, do so. Making them feel worse will not help.

I do not have any stories to share.

 

I prefer to not judge people who cut. They've been through something, or are going through something. They use cutting as a way to calm themselves or get away from their problems. I think the best way to handle this is to help them rather than criticize them for it.

I know the feeling you get when you cut. It used to calm me down, and make me forget about the world. I even used to rub the scars when I was outside, to stop thinking about things, but I've stopped doing it now. I also have about three friends, who used to cut.

 

What is the point in cutting? Serious question.

 

In all reality, some people that have gone through it have said that it makes them feel better because they are controlling the pain that they are going through, making it worse than the pain they were feeling in the first place. There is no "correct" answer to this question as people could do it for different reasons.

 

Okay? Why cut? There are other ways to deal pain. Why the wrist? Attempt of suicide? Cutting is nothing more than attention I believe. I was trying to get more of an answer out than just "it calms me" before giving my opinion. That's what I see. Other people might not but I do.

 

You think those who went to cutting didn't try all of those other ways? It's not that complicated to wrap your mind around, someone goes through incredible emotional and physical pain and they want to more or less distract their mind from THAT pain and put their focus onto something else. Maybe its to punish themselves for making mistakes? There are many reasons someone could do this, like I just said in my previous post. This is coming from someone who has actually cut, so I don't know why you seem so unsatisfied with the answers given.

 

With regards to why cutting over other methods: it focuses on inward retaliation. It feeds self-loathing. People who are dealing with inward emotional pain are more likely to cut than people who deal with outward emotional pain. Punishing yourself is part of the experience. To quote Oscar Wilde: "There is luxury in self-reproach."

For some, it might be as simple as that cutting costs no money.

It's not just the wrists—that is an overused cliché. Many people cut on the upper thigh and other places where it cannot be seen. Why? Because they do not want other people to know about it. People who cut on their arms wear long sleeves or wrist bands to cover them up. Cutting where it can be seen is rare by comparison. In other words, it has nothing to do with attention. They do not like the negative attention they get from people like you.

 

Cant contribute if I don't understand or have a any reasons why people do it and the methods they chose. Which is why I asked before "contributing" any of my opinions.

People who mutilate themselves have an issue. It's like a child getting mad over a video game and hitting himself in the head multiple times because he's mad. It's childish and immature is what it is (IMO). and because it saves money??? I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Also there's SO much other things to get your mind off something than mutilating yourself. Do something positive. Help volunteer. Help the community. Plays games. Hang with friends, talk with friends and family. Get a pet. Heck, find a faith in a "God". Don't give yourself pain. Negative + Negative doesn't make Positive. There's is more ways to deal with issues than cutting.

 

Actually, they do.

Anyway, I don't really agree with it, either, but at the same time it's their body, so...

 

They don't... You're thinking of multiplication.

Did your mind turn the + on its side?

 

Probably.

I don't know. I think Miles summarized what I would have said quite well, minus the hostility from him. Personally, there's no such thing as reaching the end of the line. There are always other ways of dealing with severe depression or similar things besides hurting yourself.

 

That's all well and good when you're in the right mind. But it's hard to stay rational under trying circumstances. Self-harm is immediate, it's intense, and it's readily available—Some people just gravitate towards it in times of stress as a matter of course. Especially if they've tried more mundane stress relief and seen no returns from it. And when it comes to anxiety and depression, you sometimes reach a point where sheer chemical reactions in your brain override reason, and you really can't wrap your head around the idea that this isn't forever, this isn't the end of the line, there is another way.

 

Can you say with confidence that they are better or more effective methods, though?

 

That's a good point.

However, if people know they're depressed and feel like it keeps getting worse, while they can still think properly, wouldn't it make sense to seek help? And if they can't afford professional help, just talking to a close family member or friend can do wonders.

Probably not long term directly, but there are short term methods you can do, such as going out and getting exercise, which clears your head, that could help you figure out a long term method that could work.

 

Cutting is extremely short term, even in comparison to those. A lot of people resort to it during the school year when they can't rely on other people or can't just go for a run. There is an element of shame, too—they don't feel they deserve others' help, or to be healthy.

 

Unless friends and family are responsible for much of the aforementioned stress. Or just can't do much to help. Whether they're hardly around, don't take the problem seriously, or just can't relate, it's very rare to find family or friends who are equipped to fully carry somebody else, especially when they already have their own burden to bear. Plus it would require admitting to self-harm, which usually results in "Oh my god you CANNOT do that" rather than "Ok, let's talk about why you're doing that."

I suffered a cocktail of mild anxiety and depression for... I'd say half a decade. And the thing about these disorders is that they build. Inexorably. It's in their nature. Leave them for too long and they all grow to absurd proportions. I never resorted to self-harm, but I would oscillate between being terrified to die and desperately wanting to more than anything else. My parents were no help, much less my friends, because they didn't have the words to get through to me and I was either too upset to communicate what I was feeling, or too afraid of another emotional low to talk about my problem. Fortunately, we have enough money to get me professional counseling (and, lately, medicine), and I've gotten much better as of late. But maybe you can see from that little anecdote how difficult it can be, and how many obstacles can present themselves, even when you do seek help.

 

Another thing to note is stress eating, drinking, etc all more or less do harm to your body so one argument that could be placed is how is cutting any different?

 

Emotion is not logical. So by telling someone that cuts themselves "wow dude this is stupid go do something that will actually help society, or go make a friend, or do this or do that" WILL NOT HELP THEM. I would know because I have done it and because I have been at that place.

People feel helpless and scared and they are constantly making choices left and right just trying to ease the pain a little bit. Cutting, overeating, drinking, yelling, punching a wall, ruining a friendship, etc etc. All of these things can happen without their control. Then people like you come in and talk down to them. You know suicide is an interesting thing, you see to someone "logical" such as yourself it doesn't make sense. But you do not see what they see. They see a broken home, a ****** school life, abuse, bullying, self esteem issues, and all in all they feel as if they shouldn't even exist. And all its going to take is that ONE THING to push them over the edge. Your posts could be that catalyst. Does that mean you are at fault for it? Ehh not exactly, but why would you ever even risk pushing someone over the edge?

 

Okay, so those of you who were reading this thread previously can tell that it's been pretty gutted. I've outright deleted several posts, and edited others that have solid points / topics of discussion that should be preserved while removing the objectionable parts. I closed the thread temporarily while I cleaned things up and it will be re-opened because this is an important subject to talk about, however I would like to make a few reminders.

First of all, if you feel a member's post is lacking in content or contribution, it is not your place to publicly call them out on it. This is considered backseat moderating on KH-Vids and will not be tolerated for two reasons: it is occasionally based on an incorrect interpretation of our rules and standards, and secondly, will often lead to public disagreements as we saw here. Should you encounter a situation in which you feel a post is inadequate, click the Report button and a staff member will take care of it. I should note however that the staff is not obligated to comply to your report simply because you reported it; it is their discretion and you must respect that. If you object to a staff member's conduct or a response to a report, you can escalate it to an Administrator.

Secondly, personal attacks, growing defensive, and hateful language are absolutely not tolerated in this section nor on this entire site for that matter. We understand that many were responding to what they felt was insensitive or even offensive, but that does not mean you must sink to that level. Disagree, but so do with tact, letting the person know why their post was hurtful. Once again, the Report button is also useful in these situations.

Edit I forgot to add this after dealing with the whole mess but I would also like to remind that this is a very sensitive subject and should be replied to with delicacy. This is a discussion section and therefore you may post your opinions, but freedom of speech does not mean that you can post hateful or offensive things, particularly towards victims. Understanding an issue is all well and good, and disagreeing and discussing is what we want here, but not when it's overly judgmental or offensive.

This is a very sensitive subject and should this thread flare up again, it will be closed. Members who participated in the aforementioned conflict will be contacted and possibly punished privately.

To move the topic along a bit, I have never cut myself nor generally self-harmed, though I know many people who have. I understand that it can be a way to distract oneself from emotional pain and in some cases to channel anger at oneself into action. It obviously isn't a healthy coping method, but given the situation people who do self-harm are in, you really can't fairly fault or judge them.

To those who have self-harmed before -- can I ask what coping methods you've found to effectively replace cutting?