Hey. What do you say we hang out soon? Just us, for the most part. Well then? Hmm? Place, and time? You pick. It was my idea after all. So tell me something: How exactly do you feel about me? Do you think I'm a friend? Do you want me to be a friend? Should we try...you know, us, out? Would it even work? I mean hey, we're both lonely. And you know that I'm in love with you. So, should we try? Should we risk everything between us? Actually, no. I'm being stupid. We're friends. Neither of us will ever truly want more than that. I mean, we're both healthy young teenagers. It's only natural that we'd go through those phases. So if the question is if I'm lying to myself, I don't think I am. After all, we've been closer than ever lately, in both senses of the word. And no matter how fast my heart was beating... No matter how red my face got... No matter how filled with love your eyes seem to be when you look at me... I always keep my hands to myself. I never move in to kiss you. But maybe it's just because I'm a wimp. You know how I feel and what I want for us. And so I just sit there. Waiting for you to make the first move. And I know you won't. We're both too shy to act on our feelings. After all, I was shaking more than the San Francisco fault line when I wrote that letter. And I was even more nervous giving it to you. And still more nervous at the thought that you might be reading it as soon I left the room. And then you brought it up later that night. I still remember your exact words. “Even though it's all on the table now, we're still friends.†Even now you still have no idea how much that meant to me. My heart skipped a beat. Figuratively of course. I'm serious when I say that one weekend was the most important in my life. Well, anyway. Think about it, alright? If we don't finish that movie soon, we'll forget that we started it. And then you'll never get to see the end. And sorry about going on that...rant? No, that's not quite right. I don't know what to call it. So just... Well... Night. Wait. Actually, there was one other thing. I still can't say it to you in person, but this is close enough for now. I love you. I'm slowly working up to it. Telling you to your face. First in that letter, and now in real time. Maybe soon I'll work up the nerve to actually tell you. Good night. For real this time. Maybe I should just make one thread for all my stuff? I've been doing a lot lately.
Awwww... I really like this post, it's so amazing! I hope you write more like this, I like to read stuff like this.
