best Chuck Norris jokes

ozzy ozbourne bites the heads off bats. chuck norris bites the head off siberian tigers.;
your turn khv

 

Do you have any idea how dead Chuck Norris jokes are?

 

prrrrrrrrroooooooooooobably

 

not ?

 

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Dead. Fact. Fiction. Lame perhaps?

Or how about the longer one, Florence?

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

What the heck I'll give it a go...
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris swam by the Virgin Islands...not called the Virgin Islands anymore.
I fail.

 

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.



...I'm ashamed of myself.

 

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light not because he is afraid of the dark the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."


chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The heck was That?


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

 

The tallest the TMNT ever were was 5'2, which was in the 2k3 show.

 

*Receives a roundhouse kick to the face*
*Gets into fighting stance*
*Realizes it's Chuck Norris*

Oh...uh...
(Man I wish Bruce Lee was alive...)

 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

wat .

 

Chuck Norris checks under the bed every night for Joseph Jostar.

 

Chuck Norris kicked a Burger King so hard it turned into a Dairy Queen.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And got one.

 

I FU*KING KNEW IT! :yelling:

 

Here's some.
Chuck Norris is where babies come from
Chuck Norris once leaned on a tower in Pisa
Chuck Norris once ate 72 oz. steaks in a 46 minutes. He spent the first 31 minutes shagging his wife
Chuck Norris once won the World Series of Poker with a checker chip, a green uno card, 2 of clubs, 3 of spades, and a get out of jail free card
There are no species. Those are the animals he has allowed to live
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick which is still bigger than yours.
When Chuck Norris entered this world he had a beard and roundhouse kicked his mother.

 

Chuck Norris once won Connect 4 in 3 moves.

 

Chuck Norris is spdude.

No one can beat that joke.

 

I really don't think Chuck Norris would enjoy all of this.

 

Spoiler

Chuck Norris is gay.