I'm sure you all know the whole concept of a female being so sad that she starts crying and a female friend comforts her by hugging her, letting the other female cry on her shoulder, etc. My question is why does it seem like guys "can't be" emotional or close with each other? It's almost as if it were law. Like guys don't typically seem to cry if something sad happens and get comforted by another guy. Those that do are looked at weird, as if it were homosexual. Personally, I think that's another example of stereotyping. People calling emotional males gay is stereotypical, obviously, but if a guy chooses not to cry because guys "aren't supposed to" cry, is that also stereotypical? Anyway, I personally don't see anything wrong with guys, regardless of sexuality, because I don't think that should play a role, being close to the point where if one's sad, they can cry on the other guy's shoulder or whatever. Discuss.
Actually I've seen guys crying plenty of times though it's usually a female's shoulder that they're leaning on. You're right, it is a stereotyped perceived by the common people as to mean that one is in fact homosexual. This of course is completely untrue. My friend had a scare awhile back with his dad, he thought he was dying. He broke down and started crying on the drive to the hospital. I road with him like a good friend would and being socially awkward as I am I chose to just remain silent. His girlfriend was there to comfort him though. Crying is supposed to be a sign of weakness or femininity. It takes a big man to hold back tears but when the dam breaks that doesn't make you any less of a man. Personally I'm not really in touch with my feelings or whatever. I cry when I see something sad happen on TV but real life doesn't really effect me. I'm disconnected from my emotions towards the physical world and, sad as it may be, it takes something like seeing a fanfic where Pinkie Pie dies to make me cry (it's a reference so shut it). I see no reason why any man should have to hold back their tears lest their in front of their family and have to stay strong. For instance a father who's mother just passed away and won't cry in front of his kids as it would only upset them but then once alone or with his wife lets the dam break. It's not healthy to hold back emotions. It wears and tears away at your psyche. Everyone needs a good cry every now and then.
I think it really does come down to the stereotype. Even now, many people still judge others by certain stereotypes. I myself understand that crying doesn't make a person any weaker, and doesn't make a male any less masculine, yet naturally I feel horrible when I do cry, which is why I do not allow myself to. Again, this is the work of the stereotype that I have been brought up to believe.
It all comes down to gender stereotyping. Men are expected to act tough, not talk about their emotions as much, deal with their own problems, and just generally be what society deems as strong. Women meanwhile are expected to spend a lot of time with friends, talk about their problems, cry, and just generally be more emotional. It's very much an outdated and redundant view these days, just as ridiculous as the notion that you have to act a certain way to be gay or straight. Everybody is who they are, whether that is emotional, self-contained, loud, quiet, and that's the way it should be. Society's views should not affect how anyone acts. I hate to point the finger, but America, especially it's film and TV industry, is very responsible for part of the problem. When you think of the words "manly" or "masculine", I bet somebody like Chuck Norris or Arnold Schwarzenegger comes to mind before anything else. These actors, or more accurately the roles they play in movie and television, are very much painted as tough, strong, "manly" characters who should be respected and treated as role models, even if the actor themselves are nothing like that in reality. It's a common practice, through which the media influences society's views on both men and women pretty much every day.
There's nothing wrong with it. Guys can cry and comfort each other all they want. My theory is that guys definitely aren't as dramatic as girls-if they are crying then it is for a very good reason (eg somebody close to them passing away). I've dealt with my female friends who cry over trivial matters, but if a male friend has told me a problem and they're very upset about it, I make sure to give them a hug the next time I see them because goddamn, sometimes a guy needs that too. Sure there is the stereotype that guys aren't supposed to cry, but that would be awful. Fancy not being able to get your emotions out because you would be labelled as not 'manly'. That's horrible. The stereotype of men being 'strong' and women being 'fragile' is based off a lot of things, but in this day and age it is very outdated. People can be whoever they want. I, for example, am not a cryer. I am a female, and I simply just physically refuse to cry. One of my best male friends who is twice my size blubbers quite a bit. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a dumb stereotype and you shouldn't let society or the media or anything tell you how to get out your emotions if you're upset about something.
This is exactly how I feel and why I say I don't think sexuality in both genders should play a role; if it does, then it's people being stereotypical. There are two straight males. Male #1's mother passed away and is upset and Male #2 gives him a shoulder to cry on. There is one straight female and one lesbian female. Same scenario as above. As you said, it doesn't make the guys any less "manly." Also, it doesn't make them gay or Female #1 lesbian because she's being comforted by Female #2.
