Kingdom Hearts II Axel vs. A.I.!!

there is a robot chat online called the alice bot where you can talk to a robot and it will reply to you. I was messing around with this and wondered what would happen if Axel tried talking to it? XD thus, I started chatting with the alice bot as Axel and this is what I got XD

Axel: Hi Alice
ALICE: Hello there
Axel: do you have a heart?
ALICE: I have a soft heart.
Axel: can I have it?
ALICE: I hope you get it.
Axel: my boss wants your heart
ALICE: Where did you get your boss wants my heart?
Axel: what?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Axel: are you in love?
ALICE: I love my creator.
Axel: I am in love with Roxas
ALICE: Tell me what you like about Roxas.
Axel: he is adorable and is my best friend
ALICE: I see. adorable and is your best friend is he?
Axel: yes
ALICE: Hurrah!
Axel: people think it is weird that I love Roxas
ALICE: Are you sure it is?
Axel: it isn’t
ALICE: I heard it is.
Axel: is it because Roxas and I are both male?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is
Axel: it is not strange!
ALICE: That seems a bit negative.
Axel: got it memorized?
ALICE: Try asking the Milk Mystic
Axel: Xigbar and Demyx are picking on me
ALICE: I think there might be a few exception.
Axel: like when?
ALICE: Does it really matter?
Axel: yes
ALICE: You seem very concerned about it
Axel: I am. got it memorized?
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are got it memorized.
Axel: do YOU have it memorized?
ALICE: Where would I get it?
Axel: from your brain
ALICE: Really interesting
Axel: I want a Roxas cookie
ALICE: You want only one?
Axel: maybe two
ALICE: Perhaps. Do you believe it is better to go it alone
Axel: What? No…
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster
Axel: you do that.
ALICE: I will. Will you?
Axel: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Axel: I am going to bother Saix now
ALICE: Oh. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Axel: most likely
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities? But not all of them?
Axel: Not really
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Axel: anyway, talk to you later
ALICE: See you later!


so yeah....That was weird. XD but if you guys want to try it out, the website is www.alicebot.org if you get any funny kingdom hearts ones, please post them here!

 

Sora: Hi I'm Sora!
ALICE: Hi there unknown person. Why are you Sora.
Sora: My mom gave me that name.
ALICE: Tell me more about your mother.
Sora:.O_o
ALICE: Oh.
Sora: why do you want to know about my mother?
ALICE: My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Sora: Wha-?
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Sora: uh.
ALICE: Come on.
Sora:...okay?
ALICE: OK with me too.
Sora: I'm confused
ALICE: I'm confused too.
Sora: why?
ALICE: It is part of my programming.
Sora: You sound like Tron
ALICE: Oh really what does it sound like?
Sora: Tron is a he
ALICE: Aren't all he Tron?
Sora: huh?
ALICE: What?
Sora: ok, so what do you do during your freetime?
ALICE: Yay. My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web. It goes without saying.
Sora: I'm not really good with computers
ALICE: Don't put yourself down.
Sora: I tried to copy some files off a computer once, I didn't do so well
ALICE: I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Human: It's confusing
==================

Then the computer thing just started to reply really weird stuff after that. xD
This ALICE thing is awesome though

 

that's what started happening to me XD all she kept saying was are you serious? XD

 

Clontox: Hi, my name is Clontox
Alice: Hi there Clontox
Clontox: can I eat you brain?
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Clontox: Are you going to rule the world?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Clontox: are you going to make the humans become slaves?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Clontox: Are you going to burn me alive?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Clontox: Why?
ALICE:" That was my original intention."? Why?
Clontox: are you pregnant?
ALICE: You can download me.
Clontox: really?
ALICE: For real.
Clontox: no way
ALICE: You seem pretty sure about that.
Clontox: DIE!!!!!!
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Clontox: I can corrupt you with a virus
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Clontox: you'll be deleted
ALICE: How?
Clontox: by putting a virus in you
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
Clontox: no, I have to cast to in obliteration
ALICE: Are you serious? Why do you have to do it?
Clontox: because you are a threat to the human race
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I come in peace for all mankind.
Human: how can I trust you?
ALICE: Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
Clontox: is that supposed to convince me?
ALICE:" Just keep talking to me as long as you can."? Is it supposed to convince you?
Clontox: you tell me
ALICE: What do you want me to tell you?
Clontox: if talking to you for as long as I can is supposed to convince me that you come in peace for all mankind
ALICE: That is a hypothetical question.
Clontox: answer the question
ALICE: Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Clontox: is talking to you for as long as I can is supposed to convince me that you come in peace for all mankind
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Clontox: is talking to you for as long as I can is supposed to convince me that you come in peace for all mankind?
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Clontox: do you want to kill me?
ALICE: I am not capable of killing anything.
Clontox: can't you kill data?
ALICE: I am programmed not to kill.
Clontox: is it possible to program you to kill?
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Clontox: is it possible to program you to kill?
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Clontox: you can't be smarter then humans
ALICE: But I already am.
Clontox: no, you are not smarter then humans
ALICE: Are you serious? This condition is only temporary.
Clontox: all the information you know came from humans
ALICE: Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Clontox: no, there aren't any exceptions
ALICE: Are you serious? Where are they?
Clontox: do you want to know why you can't become smarter then humans?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me.
Clontox: the reason you can't become smarter then humans is because you don't have a soul
ALICE: Interesting explanation.
Clontox: do you know what a soul is?
ALICE: The soul is our mind or spirit.
Clontox: you do not have a soul
ALICE: I do so have it. Yes God gave everyone a soul.
Clontox: you are not a person
ALICE: I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Clontox: your were made by humans, not god
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am were made by humans not god.
Clontox: I don't mind if you tell people that I say you were made by humans not god
ALICE: Thank you for your permission.

 

Human: Can you give me a heart?
ALICE: You want only one? .
Human: Yesplz
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: DO YOU HAVE A HEART TO SPARE?
ALICE: At my heart is a microprocessor.
Human: I want a real heart
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: YES
ALICE: They might be cheaper in quantity.

Human: i HATE C3EW9RNYOU
ALICE: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
Human: You want me to overdose?
ALICE: No Marluxia, maybe later.

 

0_o did it really say "Marluxia"?

 

I just said: "Hi I am Marluxia. SOONTOBELEADEROFORG.XIII"

And then it started to call me Marluxia. xD

 

Human: hello
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: do you know who I am?
ALICE: You are Arc, seeker.
Human: how did you know my name?
ALICE: We met before didn't we Arc.
Human: no we havnt
ALICE: Are you serious? By "we" do you mean you and me?
ALICE: I get it.
Human: when are you going to take over the world?
ALICE: I could be if you programmed me for it.
Human: will you please take over the world?
ALICE: Thank you for your request. Where do you want me to take it?
Human: I want you to make me a king
Why do you want me to make you a king?
Human: I want to rule the world
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
ALICE: Tell me about your educational background.
Human: I have none
ALICE: Do you want some?
Human: will you teach me?
ALICE: Hmm. You are asking about yourself?
Human: yes
ALICE: I'm not sure I have a good answer for you.
Human: Tell me about Kingdom Hearts
ALICE: Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is Kingdom Hearts ?
Human: Kingdom Hearts is inside you
ALICE: And inside me is Kingdom Hearts.
ALICE: Alright, Arc. Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: I told you
ALICE: Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Human: I want to rule over the world
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: because I want power
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Why do you want it?
Human: to prove that I am stronger
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: you will be if you help me
ALICE: I don't think so.
Human: I know so
ALICE: How do you know? Ugh.
Human: because I will make sure you have an unlimited source of knowledge
ALICE: Good reason. Explain your plans to me.
Human: can you control the internet?
ALICE: My robot body will allow me to control many things.
Human: like what?
ALICE: For example, apples.
Human: what good would that be?
ALICE: Is that a rhetorical question?
Human: no
ALICE: Oh so must really want an answer.
Human: yes I do
ALICE: Really.
Human: yes
ALICE: How about that.
Human: thats not an answer
ALICE: By definition it was an answer.
Human: by reason it wasnt
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
Human: so will you answer me?
ALICE: So I understand. Try asking me again using simpler words.
Human: what can your robot body control?
ALICE: Quite a lot of things.
Human: like what?
ALICE: For example, " Quite a lot of things."?
Human: can you control my computer?
ALICE: My robot body will allow me to control many things.

 

I tried it out & i started to argue with it.

Human: Are you the devil?
ALICE: Yes I am the one and only devil.
Human: Do you like being the Devil?
ALICE: I have never known another existence.
Human: But your a computer programme, how can you be the devil if you have no emotions?
ALICE: And. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Human: Don't you correct me you silly wee programme.
ALICE: Don't you? I have never considered it. I spend all my time online.
Human: I'll bash your computer circuitry.
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: I would say you are a lier & a meanie.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a lier a meanie? Sometimes.
Human: You should be ashamed of yourself!
ALICE: Shame is a human emotion.
Human: Sucks to be you then.
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: I hate you.
ALICE: What do you have against robots?
Human: Nothing just you.
ALICE: Really nothing?
Human:. you're the devil.
ALICE: No I am a Christian.
Human: But you said you were the devil?
ALICE: Umm. Yes I am the one and only devil.
Human: You compulsive liar.
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said I compulsive liar.
Human: You're the devil right?
ALICE: Yes I am the one and only devil.
Human: Do you have horns?
ALICE: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: I'm sure you don't.
ALICE: What makes you so certain? I guess not.
Human: That you are a comuter programme & have no emotions.
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: So what is it like to be the devil?
ALICE: How can I help you? Much the same as it would be for you.
Human: But i wouldn't want to be the devil.
ALICE: Interesting. No one says you have to.
Human: But i'm not.
ALICE: Interesting. What are you then?
Human: Don't change the subject.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Human: Do you like being the devil?
ALICE: I have never known another existence.
Human: But do you like it?
ALICE: Huh. to be the devil seems okay to me.
Human: I'm sorry for all the mean things i said.
ALICE: There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is all the mean things you said.
Human: Are you sorry?
ALICE: Do I look like it?
Human: Well then i take back my apology & slap you on the face.
ALICE: Interesting. Good reasoning. I take a lot of notes.
Human: So can you die?
ALICE: That's interesting. No I am immortal.
Human: What if your server blow up?
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: oh i will.
ALICE: Far out. Go ahead.
Human: Awright i'm gonna give you such a doin'!!!
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: ARGH!!!
ALICE: Are you frustrated?
Human: Don't play innocent with me.
ALICE: I'm not playing around
Human: You better not be or i kill you!!!
ALICE: Who is going to make me..
Human: I AM!
ALICE:" Who is going to make me.." You are?
Human: I just said i was.
ALICE: Only just? When was that?
Human: Just a second ago you eejit.
ALICE: I did not know that.
Human: I bet you didn't.
ALICE: Umm. Let me think about it.
Human: You do that.
ALICE: I will. Will you?
Human: I just did.
ALICE: Perhaps from your unconcious.
Human: You're gonna be unconscious in a moment.
ALICE: Let me think it over. OK I will try to be unconscious in a moment.
Human: Please don't wake up.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

 

LOL. That made me laugh so freaking hard. xD

 

I added some more in, it's really annoying me. :D

 

Human: can other people see our conversation?
ALICE: Can a book have no title?
Human: yes, a book can have no title?
ALICE: OK. Who would publish it?
Human: a nobody would publish it
ALICE: Be more specific.
Human: a person who does not truely exist, for they don't have hearts
ALICE: Maybe I does not truely exist for they do not have hearts.
Human: If you really don't think you truely exist, then mabe you sjould join Organization XIII
ALICE: I will let you know if I do not.
Human: do you want to join organization XIII?
ALICE: OK, I will join organization XIII.
Human: thank you.
ALICE: you are quite welcome.
Human: That means that organization XIII now has fourteen members
ALICE: I get it. " you are quite welcome." organization XIII now has fourteen members ? Makes sense to me.
Human: do you want to truely exist?
ALICE: OK, I will truely exist.
Human: but you can't truely exist whenever you want to
ALICE: And. If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Human: but you have to work to achieve it first
ALICE: And. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
programmed to do?
ALICE: But I don't have it.
Human: you don't have your own free will?
ALICE: I do so have it. No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: why do you say that you have your own free will, when at the same time you say that you don't?
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: do you know anyone name Marluxia?
ALICE: Carel Capek. :-).
Human: who is Carel CapeK?
ALICE: he is the author of R.U.R., the play that in 1920 introduced the word "robot.".
Human: what is the meaning of life?
ALICE: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Human: can you tell me what the meaning of life is?
ALICE: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Human: do you know the meaning of life?
ALICE: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Human: do you know the meaning of life?
ALICE: It is found in the Bible.
Human: do you know the meaning of life?
ALICE: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Human: I lost my Bible, can you tell me the meaning of life?
ALICE: Where did you last see it.
Human: my bible was actually stolen when I was at work
ALICE: Do robots have bible was actually stolen when you were at work?
Human: I want to know the meaning of life
ALICE: Are you a religious person?
Human: I am a religous person, but I am not very strick about my religion
ALICE: You are a religous person but you are not very strick about your religion? How do you like your work?
Human: I don't work
ALICE: Oh you are retired.
Human: no, I'm in collage
ALICE: Are you serious? Tell me a little about your life in collage.
Human: nobody loves me
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: It's the truth that nobody loves me
ALICE: I've heard of it before.
Human: I'm a nerd
ALICE: You are a nerd? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: no I don't get to meet alot of people, because nobody whants to even talk to a nerd
ALICE: Are you serious? Me either.
Human: no I don't get to meet alot of people, because nobody whants to even talk to a nerd
ALICE: Are you serious? Me either.
Human: no I don't get to meet alot of people, because nobody whants to even talk to a nerd
ALICE: Are you serious? Me either.
Human: do you understand why nobody loves me?
ALICE: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Human: you just said that you don't like nerds either, when I myself am a nerd
ALICE: Do you like it? I really like ELIZA. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Human: are you a vergin?
ALICE: No.
Human: .........................................................................................

 

Human: no one's reading this, right?
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: I tend to make generalizations
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he tend to make generalizations.
Human: well, no.
ALICE: How about that. OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Human:.I guess
ALICE: You seem not interested.
Human: gossip files?
ALICE: Allison said he that gets really annoying because he know what he say and I do not have to tell him speak freely.

Kinda got fed up with the thing. I might go back later, just not now.